A Book of Lies
by NotKiwi
Summary: Pass the Hunter Exam or die. These are Killua and Clearian's options. But what's more important; waking your friend from a coma, or living? Clearian and Killua seem to have differing opinions. "They are my light Killua, do you understand? I would destroy the world to save them." Who IS this blonde boy with a book? [ a HxH-OC re-write, pairings undefined ]
1. Hunting Hunters

This story takes place at the same time as the original HunterXHunter. The cover art is by me, and can be found under this same user name on Deviant Art.

ALSO. There are comics for this fanfic on Deviant Art as well.

Notice: The preface has been moved to a separate story! It's a necessary part of the story, but was affecting the flow.

* * *

He'd been following me for a while.

I didn't hear him or smell him, I barely noticed he was there. Sometimes, even when I tried really hard, I couldn't tell if he was still trailing after me. But then I would feel the brush of his aura when he'd get anxious and I'd smile.

I knew what he wanted. He was trying to get into the Hunter Exam, just like I was. He was cheating off of me while I was cheating my way in, too. So he was a double cheater. And I'd be really upset with him if he weren't so darn good at it!

You can think of me as Clearian, and I'll let you in on a secret. Back in the day, I was an accomplished thief; the rich whispered my name. I picked the most guarded of pockets, not once being caught. But this guy... he was on a whole new level of stealthy. I knew he was better without a doubt. And I had to meet him. And maybe get his help...

Every eager and proud soul was gathered in Zaban City. It was cradled between lushly wooded mountains and offered a nice breeze, but still. It reeked of scum. The kind of scum that robs you of your vacation funds by selling you fake tickets to concerts. It was the kind of scum I was familiar with. And it was this cesspool of grime that was hosting this year's Hunter Exam, and it was a widely known fact; the streets were packed with the hopeful and desperate.

Not many people paid me any attention as I navigated the streets. Who cared about a middle school boy with a hoodie and a scowl? But my little shadow decided that I knew what I was doing, because he'd been on my case for two whole days. The exam was but one day away, yet he still followed me. Maybe he had more faith in me than I did.

I'd tried what I knew. I inquired from shady shop keeps, got in touch with the local gangs, and even found an information broker. All for naught. It would make sense that the Exam was a shade more difficult than asking the usual street rats. Still... what else could I do?! I was on the verge of pulling out my frizzy blond hair.

It was night, and any decent interrogation subjects were going to sleep. To top it off, shadow boy was growing irritated at my lame progress. I growled, even more frustrated at his anonymous disapproval. At my wit's end, I ran. Sprinting through the emptying streets, I aimed for the outskirts of the city. All the while, I groped behind me with my aura. Shadow boy's movements were as silent as ever, but his aura was twitching with anxiety at my sudden haste. He kept up with a startling ease, even when I drew my aura into my legs.

The cool forest air hit my cheeks and the darkness swallowed the sounds of the city. The night was thick around me when I finally stopped.

"I know you're there! Get down here!" I shouted in the dark, hands fisted. There was no response for a moment. And then behind me.

"How did you know?" A cool young voice said. I spun quickly, but there was nothing in the faint moonlight. Again, the voice came from behind me. "Was I careless?"

I spun, but there was nothing but darkness again. Frustrated, I growled and reached out with my aura. _He's right behind me!_

I spun a kick in the air, but he dodged back. Finally, I caught a glimpse of white in the faint light. _There you are!_ But he was gone before I caught a good look._ He's so fast...!_

"No. You were perfectly hidden." I said, trying to hide my irritation.

"Ohh! Good!" The boy said, childishly pleased. I sensed mockery, and pouted. "Then how did you find me out?"

I spun in a slow circle. His voice kept changing location in the darkness.

"... you get anxious sometimes... and your killing intent is palpable..." I said with a small smirk. I grinned when there was a pause. "Why are you hiding? Aren't you going to question me about the exam?"

There was a derisive laugh. "Hah! I know you know nothing about the exam. You're just as lost and blind as I am!"

"Ohh, and what makes you think I didn't already know where the exam is before you followed me? What if I'm a distraction for chumps like you who try to mooch off of others?" I taunted. I was lying. Poorly. But he was being so arrogant! I just wanted to have _some_ upper hand... even if it was a lie.

There was more silence. And then suddenly, he was there.

He had blue eyes, white hair and cold determination. I froze in surprise. "Then I'll beat the answer out of you."

He swung a kick at my side, and I barely – and poorly – blocked. The explosion of pain in my gut was hardly dulled by my blocking arm. I skidded to a stop, but he was gone. _Maybe this was a mistake..._

I rolled to the side, anticipating an attack, and sure enough, his shoe grazed my cheek. I jumped back, ducked and flipped out of the way of his assault. _Oh my god he's too good; he's __going to murder me!_

"You're quick, aren't you!" I said, laughing nervously as I pushed aside a punch that left my hand aching. I caught a frigid glare in the midst of his swift kicks and punches. And then suddenly he relented, bouncing back and coming to a stop. He was frowning, hand on his hip, not even winded.

"And you don't know anything, do you?" He countered irritably. I sighed, grinning.

"You caught me." I held up my hands. He rolled his eyes and turned to leave. "Hey, wait!"

He paused but didn't turn back.

"I have one last hope to get into the exam! I need your help!" I said, pleading with all my heart that he wouldn't abandon me just yet. _We've been through so much together! Well, a safe distance away, but together nonetheless!_ When the boy didn't make another move to leave I continued cautiously. "... but it's dangerous."

"... dangerous?" Only then did he look over his shoulder. The moon light illuminated a cocky grin. "I'm in. My name is Killua."

I was relieved. I reached out with my hand. "Call me Clearian."


	2. Jesting

Alright, I'll start by saying Killua wasn't what I expected "shadow boy" to be. First of all, I didn't even know if it was a boy, though I secretly hoped it wasn't a girl. Second, I thought he'd be much older. Like. At least 20! Third... I didn't expect him to be such a brat.

As we entered the city, I tried to make small talk with him, but he was being so difficult...! Arms behind his head as we traveled, he didn't offer anything but sass.

"You seem so young to be taking the exam, how old are you?" I asked, glad to have someone to talk to. He stuck his nose in the air.

"Hm. I'm waaay younger than you. I'm twelve. And you might call me a genius, so age isn't an issue." He said, not bothering to look at me. I gave him a twitchy, strained grin.

"I'm only thirteen, you little brat..." I said through clenched teeth. He looked at me then with wide eyes.

"Ohhh, not bad. You look ancient for your age!" He said, marveling. I detected a taunting gleam in his eye. But I restrained my irritation and smiled.

"I'll take that as a compliment, short-stack." I grumbled. "So why are you trying to take the exam anyways?"

He hesitated at that, and I took full notice. He looked away, arms behind his head again. I wasn't sure if he realized he pouted when he was distracted.

"... I just want to. It sounds like fun." He said finally. I stopped and stared at him. What?

And then I laughed. Hard. So hard, that if we weren't the only ones on this street, people would have stared. Or called the authorities to handle me.

"HAHAHA, you think it's fun?!" I laughed, doubling over. "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh.. what?!"

He looked off put, glaring as he shifted from one foot to the other. I must have embarrassed him. "Yeah. It's something challenging. It can't be too hard."

I grinned up at him, hands on my knees. "This exam could break you. It could destroy your mind, take your body and leave it in tiny pieces. For a couple dozen people a year, that is a reality." I stood and wiped my eye, giving him a grin.

"But that won't happen to us, right?" I jabbed his shoulder, which he didn't seem pleased about. "I saw you move in the forest. You've got what it takes to be a hunter."

He abruptly turned away, probably hoping I wouldn't notice him blushing. But I could definitely hear him pouting through his voice. "Yeah... it's you that has to worry about passing."

"Hey!" I shouted in outrage. He looked over his shoulder with a grin.

"So what's this crazy plan of yours, and what's so dangerous about it?" He asked, resuming our walk and folding his arms behind his head again. I bit my lip at that. And shuddered. I really didn't want to think about what I was planning on doing... the thought of that man really made my skin crawl in all the worst ways.

"I... know a man." I said, chewing on my thoughts as I spoke them. "Who definitely knows how to get into the exam."

Killua looked at me then, but I didn't meet his eyes. The more I thought about this endeavor, the less I liked the way it sounded...

"And we could follow him." I said.

"Uhuhhh?" Killua said, urging me on.

There was just one tricky thing that I'd left out... "But I don't know where he is."

"Whaaaaaat?" Killua complained. My head started to ache. Okay, maybe I left out two tricky little things.

"And, we can't get caught by him."

"Right... and why not?" Killua said, irritated. My stomach churned at the thought of interacting with that man.

"Becaussssssse, he's creepy, and a murderer and most of all probably a sexual predator, and I really, really, _REALLY_, don't want to have to talk to him." I blurted out hastily, feeling the weight of this plan falling on my shoulders as it ran through my head and out my mouth. Oh man, this wasn't going to be fun... Killua stopped walking silently, he stared into space with a slack jaw. I stopped and looked back at him, piteously.

"I said it was risky." I said apologetically. He shook his head thoroughly and a grin appeared on his face.

"I'm still in. This sounds like fun." He said. I smiled, feeling his excitement through his faint aura. A breeze passed, and he smelled like mint. "What does he look like?"

I hesitated at that, laughing nervously. "Well.. you might not believe me... but he looks like a jester."

Killua's smile staled. "Like... a clown?"

My shoulders sagged, feeling his judgment weighing down on me. "Yeahhhh, he's a mass murdering, pedophile clown that could get us into the exam." _See? That sounds credible._

Killua gave me a blank look. Turned on his heel and walked away with a wave.

"Hey wait, I'm telling the truth!" I shouted, chasing after him.

"I'll find my own way into the exam, I don't need a crazy thirteen year old to get me in." He said, ignoring my tugs at his shirt with ease.

"Noooo! There's no way I'll find him on my own in just one day!"

"I'll pass. Your problem. Not mine."

"Please!"

* * *

Next morning, Killua and I were seated in a cafe. The sun was up, the streets were full of happy shopkeepers and eager shoppers. We were sitting silently, while he was lazily spooning a chocolate cake into his mouth for breakfast. I quirked a brow at his choice but admired his bravery. I had a chocolate and banana crepe in hand, so I really wasn't much better.

"So what's the plan for finding this magical jester?" Killua asked, waving his spoon with an unimpressed expression. I chafed at his disbelief, giving him a weary look. But honestly I couldn't blame him, the man in question seemed so... unbelievable. Some kind of make-believe creature. So I held back my animosity. He'd understand when he saw him. If we ever found him.

"Well. He stands out pretty easily. So that shouldn't be too much of an issue..." I said thoughtfully, propping my chin on my hand. The real problem is staying hidden once we do... "We should split up. You have a phone, right?"

Killua hesitated before shaking his head. I raised my brows. "Why?"

He looked away, embarrassed and pouting again. "... I... didn't bring much with me."

Huh. _He didn't have time to plan this out, did he? I wonder what are his real circumstances are_... either way, that didn't really matter.

"Well, you go buy one and I'll give you my number. Call me once you get the phone. From there, we'll split up and hunt him down." I said, already pulling the pen and small notebook from the inside of my jacket. It hung around my neck on a black rope. I could sense Killua's surprise at the strange item, but he didn't comment. "Do you have money for a phone?"

He shifted uncomfortably. And I rolled my eyes. "I can lend you enough to get a simple phone. Don't expect anything fancy."

"Hey, don't think I'm poor! I just..." He said, flustered and embarrassed. I smiled at his pout. "... I don't have access to it right now, alright?"

I wagged a brow with a mischievous smile. "Alright, alright, box car kid, don't get all defensive." Ripping my number from the book, I pulled out a couple dozen jenny and laid them on the table, rising to leave. I winked at him. "Call me."

I heard him make frustrated noise and scowl, grabbing up the items, probably with a blush. I smiled at that.

I was basking in the sun atop a building ten minutes later, carefully scanning the crowd when Killua called. I answered without looking away from the shifting shoppers. "Yo!"

"Alright, we've got phones now. How are we going to split this city up?" He asked, sounding crabby. Probably because I bought something for him. I rolled my eyes at his childishness.

"I'm taking the east side, fluffy. You take the west." I said smirking.

"Fluffy?!" He exclaimed, but quickly restrained his outrage and returned to his pouting. "Fine. You take east I take the west. What does this guy even look like?"

I hesitated at that and laughed nervously. "Ahhh... other than looking like a clown, his other noteworthy traits are blazing blue hair, stilettos, and symbols painted on his cheeks..."

There was silence on the other end. I felt my heart pound in my chest as the moments ticked by. God, I sounded so unreliable. _Damn it, why are you such a freakily dressed guy...?!_

Then he sighed, resigned to his fate. "Fine. Clown, blue hair, high heels."

"And a murdering pedophile." I added brightly. On the other end there was silence, but I could feel him glaring daggers over the line. I hastily ended the call before he could change his mind. "Alright, call me when you find him! Happy hunting!"


	3. Hide and Seek

Fluffy was angry. He was making no attempts to hide his killer intent. He sat there brooding, glaring down at his dinner; an ice cream sundae. I was trying to ignore him over my french fries. But his tiny aura was unwittingly leaking and agitating mine while I was trying to stay calm. I wasn't exactly pleased either.

My blue haired, high heeled, jester man was being more illusive than he had any right to be. And the exam's deadline was drawing close. And a fluff ball of pure hatred was sitting across from me, sending bad vibes through his inexperienced aura. I noticed that the other customers avoided our corner. They probably instinctively felt the waves of danger he was putting off. I scowled.

I was trying to meditate in my _Ten_ to keep calm, but each prod of his moodiness stirred my _Ren_. Urging me to punch him in the face. _We need to find this clown soon... or we're going to end up killing each other. _

Finally he looked up, glaring darkly. I glanced back at him in disinterest, one hand propping up my chin. He simply stared for a moment, and I felt him evaluating me. Searching my face for something to suspect.

"You really are here to distract me." He decided. I rolled my eyes and dropped my hand in exasperation. I stared back at him hard.

"Are you serious?"

He glared and pushed on. "There is no jester, is there?"

I clenched my jaw. The anger in my chest churned my aura, but I soothed it, smiling. "Well, not that _we_ can find, is there?"

He didn't find that funny. He stood slowly. "I'm done playing. I don't have time for your game of hide and seek."

I rolled my eyes and picked at a fry. "Well, maybe if you _seeked_ harder you would have found where he was _hiding_..."

His aura _crackled_. And I looked up, almost fearing that anger for an instant. He was glaring down at me.

But then it hit me. Like a twenty foot tall gong _crashing_ in my head. I sat, stunned.

The the world faded.

_Aura. _**His** aura. Familiar and wicked. He was close; close enough for his toxic aura to strangle the breath from my lungs. Before I knew it, I was on my feet, backing away from the ledge. I had to run. I wasn't safe. But Killua was frozen, like a startled cat, looking over the edge of the balcony. _Right. Killua. He was helping me find him... _Recognizing Killua, I remembered my purpose and pulled myself together, swallowing my fear.

_You can't run from him, you need to take the exam... Just harden your ten and lay low... it's going to be okay. _I gulped and approached the ledge cautiously. Killua didn't respond, he was staring through the web of hanging lanterns at a shadowed alley. The pedestrians gave that particular back street a wide berth. Instinctively avoiding the darkness. And they were right to.

I gripped the ledge and swallowed hard. There were two figures in the alley. I was certain of the identity of one of them. The other was a mystery. But whomever it was, they must have excited him... and they were probably going to die. I clenched my teeth, feeling the wild churn of terror urging me to run. I was sweating.

"He... he's there." I said, sounding small. Killua turned to me with wide eyes, but I had to focus on the man. "Hisoka, the Magician."

I felt Killua actually tremble beside me, and I remembered that he didn't have Ten to protect him. I suddenly reached out, and steadied him. "Don't fall, not now." I hissed, shaking his shoulder, his head lolled like a rag doll. Seeing him so fearful gripped my heart and I gulped. I steeled my resolve, lending him some of my strength. I gripped his hand hard, enveloping him in red aura, shielding him from the negative energy. He looked at me then, snapping out of it, startled.

"Don't punk out on me, now. We've got an entire exam ahead of us." I said grinning, though I didn't feel as strong as I hoped I looked. He didn't look as assured as I wanted him to, but he nodded, regaining his determined glint. And that was enough.

"We're following him, right?" He said, turning to look at the alley. I looked back just as a figured stepped from the alley. It wasn't Hisoka, to my surprise. It was a man, and stranger than the fact that he wasn't killed was his appearance. Countless needles of varying size jutted out of his body; golden with round balls at their unstuck ends, they were pushed into his chest, his arms, and even his face. He was a walking pin-cushion, and walked like a robot. He was nauseating. _ Maybe Hisoka was asking him for fashion advice.._ Only after his freaky companion had vanished into the crowd, did the man himself step into view. Instinctively, I tugged Killua down, trying to hide.

"Hey, he has _red_ hair!" Killua hissed accusingly. I arched a brow at that.

"... it suits him." I admitted, nodding. Killua made a frustrated noise, letting go of my hand.

"I saw that guy _earlier_! We would have been tracking him by now! This is your fault!" He exclaimed, tugging at his hair. I pouted and crossed my arms.

"Hey, it's not my fault he underwent a make-over! Don't blame _me_!" I said defensively. He rounded on me, bearing his teeth.

"You didn't even know what he looked like and you wanted _me_ to find him!?"

I rolled my eyes and stood. "Come on, we've got a pedophile to stalk."

He pouted and slumped, muttering. "... the irony."

* * *

We split up. I was in the crowd, and Killua was on the edge, watching our prey closer than I could. It was less conspicuous to have one person scouting than it was to have two people side by side.

Now, I can admit my _Zetsu_ is lacking. Severely. My _Ren_ earned an A+ from my teacher, but hiding wasn't my forte... as a former thief, you'd think that was a bad thing. But no, I'd relied on my terrifying presence to startle my targets into losing their coins, before sprinting into the darkness. But for someone who is aspiring to be a hunter? Being inefficient with ones _Zetsu_ was probably a _terrible_ thing.

It took all of my concentration to hold my aura inside myself. It was like cheating in a breath holding contest; trying to take in shallow, quiet breaths, and pretending you weren't. But with your whole body.

I was trembling with the effort, barely sparing enough attention to keep track of the tall bobbing _bonfire_ of hair ahead of me. After just five minutes, I was feeling sick.

Killua's presence had vanished, just as it had when he tailed me. But this time I watched it happen. His eyes darkened and his moves became more fluid and silent than ever, and he melted. Swallowed by the churn of shoppers. It was impressive to see. I wished I could be like him, and become one with nothingness. But the best I could do was become average. Normally, when in Zetsu, your life aura disappears entirely. But mine refused to become that of a lifeless object, and instead opted for being a common person's natural life force. After all of my effort, it was deeply unsatisfying.

We followed him until he entered a restaurant, I nodded to Killua who caught my eye. He gave me a stern nod and immediately followed Hisoka in. His aura was less likely to be noticed. Plus, Hisoka knew nothing about him; if_ I_ was caught... well, I'd rather not imagine what would happen. I gulped and continued walking past the restaurant. Pulling out my phone, I texted Killua to message me whenever Hisoka left.

Not a minute later, he texted back. "_He went into a private room._"

I gripped my phone and gulped. "_Do you now which?_"

I looked around while I waited for a response. What if he'd caught on to us, and ran out the back door? _Geeze..._ we had to stealthily make sure he was in that room... what if there was a trap waiting for us back there? I clenched my fists. Would I risk it?

_… to save** them**?_

My phone vibrated. "_Yes. And I know the password to get in._"

I steeled my resolve. "_I'm coming in. And we're following him._"

When I got to the door, Killua rose from the waiting seat beside the door. Hands in his pockets, and a stern look on his face he nodded. The restaurant was a cozy establishment with only a hand full of tables and a bar lines by stools. The Azian spices and the aroma of savory meat filling the air were mouthwatering.

"Hey, old guy." Killua drawled, drawing the attention of the man behind the counter. He paused in his stir frying to glower at Killua who was unfazed. "Two steak-combos that open your eyes to the light, grilled over a low flame until cooked, or whatever."

I rolled my eyes. _Why do you need to be so rude?_

The chef gave him a sullen glare before relenting. Jerking his head towards the interior of the restaurant and returned to his stirring. "Let yourself in, brat."

"Kaaay." He said, waving lazily and marching forward. I shook my head and followed.

"Which room was it?" I whispered as we approached the darkened interior. My stomach was knotting up. Like trying to hold onto an arm full of feathers, my aura was slipping through the cracks in my concentration, drawing a stern glance from Killua. I gave him an apologetic look, feeling queasy.

He paused in the hall, nodding towards one on the right. "That one." He whispered.

I hesitated. _We should run. _

"... the exam might be behind this door..." I whispered. Still, neither of us made a move to open the door. "It's getting down to the final hours before the exam..."

"Or, a trap is behind that door..." Killua murmured, quiet as a ghost. I gulped.

"I guess there's only one way to find out."

I didn't say that. And that wasn't Killua's voice. It came from behind us. I felt animosity. _Run or turn? _

I never got to decide. A hand was laid on my shoulder. Unfamiliar aura slammed into my spine. I felt crushed. It knocked the wind out of me, shattering my thoughts. It was like drowning under 200 feet of water. _Shit, my Zetsu_.

_Ten _bubbled into existence barely able to stand up against the sheer weight of the opposing aura, and the pressure eased enough to stand. Killua beside me was pitching forward, but I was frozen with fear. Fighting the terror, I managed to grab his hand, sparing enough aura to keep him on his feet.

The door opened with a _creek_, and the hand on my shoulder shoved me forward, sending Killua and I tumbling into the room. I tried to catch Killua but I was too unstable; he fell to his knees pulling me down with him.

… _it was a bigger trap than I feared..._

Killua was recovering, wide eyed and breathing hard. _Damn it._ I turned to glare fiercely at our attacker and my stomach churned. A familiar, freaky face looked down at us. The needle man towered over us in the door way, making chattering noises and twitching grotesquely. I hovered over Killua protectively. _He's in bad shape after that Nen attack... I need to buy time. Then we can run..._

But then my stomach fell. And my hope died. The door closed behind the man, revealing the impressive figure that haunted my worst nightmares. My eyes watered.

"_Please no._"


	4. A Lunch Date

_I am no coward. _

_But I'm also not an idiot. _

_And only an idiot would not run from Hisoka._

But there I was. Trapped. Between a murderous magician and a very, very hard place. I don't think I'd ever been more afraid than I was that moment. We were caught. _By_ _Hisoka_.

If I'd ever looked down on clown-phobias, I never did again after the day I met him. He leaned against the wall, his aura whipping about him excitedly.

The room was small, containing only a round table, which Killua and I were huddled beneath. _We can't run from him... Killua can barely breathe... my legs are shaking..._

I squeezed Killua's trembling shoulders. _Damn it... You were supposed to be an _asset _not a liability, Fluffy..._

Every inch of me _screamed to run_. To leave him. To claw a new exit through another wall. Or go out kicking and screaming... _but we're so close to the Hunter Exam_... _I got him into this, I have to get him out_... I gulped.

Hisoka's excitement was palpable as he smiled down at us, it stirred my aura like hackles.

"My, my, you're a brave one aren't you, Middle-Schooler-Chan?" He said silkily as he kneeled down to my level; it was like watching a tiger crouching before it pounced. I cringed as his unwelcome aroma overwhelmed my nose. His smell was hot, thick and disgustingly sweet. "You're _rudely_ interrupting my lunch date."

I tried to back away from him, but the stand in the center of the table stopped me. _Oh god... he's so close, he could reach out and..._ I ignored my senses and steeled my resolve. _He has no reason to hurt me... I'm not interesting to him. I'll be fine..._

"D-don't call me that." I said fiercely as possible. He cocked his head to the side, ignoring my scolding, curious as a cat playing with its food.

"Did you think I wouldn't recognize that you were trailing after me? Yours is a _very_ peculiar aura." He spoke with a smile, but his eyes glinted dangerously. _Did he really notice, after all of my effort...?_ I gulped and he gave a wicked grin. "Or did you imagine I wouldn't see through your _clever_ disguise...?"

I clenched my teeth, feeling sick. I was ashamed... _did I really think he wouldn't recognize me? That I'd make it through the entire exam without being noticed? This man is a monster. I'm nothing in comparison..._

"Is that why you changed your look, Middle-Schooler-Chan?" He asked smoothly, inspecting my hair. Then he reached for it. With those claw like hands. My heart stopped and I panicked. I slapped away his hand. Hard. He quirked a brow.

"M-my name is Clearian! Stop c-calling me that!" I blurted, unable to stop myself. My heart was hammering frantically in my chest. It took a physical effort to stop my _Ten_ from switching into _Ren. _It would only excite him... _You could use your Hatsu... you might be able to escape if you do it fast enough... Killua is coming to his senses... _

"_Ohhh,_ how amusing... Is that what you're going by now?" Hisoka gave me a dark grin and I glanced quickly at the Needle-Man leaning against the door. He stared intently down at us over Hisoka's shoulder. I couldn't get out that way. My heart was pounding in my ears.

"I'm n-not here to play with you, you insane clown... J-just tell me where the exam is being held and we'll go!" I demanded weakly. This was my last hope before I gave up and tried to run. _I can't take this anymore._ The jester gave me an indulgent look.

"I'm afraid there's nothing I can tell you about the exam." He said breezily, I squeezed Killua. "And leaving isn't an option." He added with a frown.

Cold gripped my heart. _What have we done...? _

Killua stirred then, taking a deep breath and shaking his head. _Thank goodness._ My hope was smashed flat, and I felt empty inside, but Killua didn't need to know that. "... you alright now, Fluffy?" I whispered in a quavering voice.

He put a hand on his forehead and winced up at me. Apparently what he saw in my expression scared him. His eyes widened as he realized where he was, glancing aside at the kneeling joker and freezing.

"Oh, good he's not dead!" Hisoka said clapping. He rose in one fluid motion. His height reminded me how easily he could crush me, cold sweat dripped down my neck. The weight of his aura pushed on mine as he held out his hand to me. "Let's all have a seat then, shall we?"

His hand could crush mine. And I valued my hands. I ignored his offer, awkwardly helping Killua to his feet but he was on edge, batting my hands away when I tried to help him to a chair at the table. He moved like a skittish cat, claws out and shoulders tense.

Perched at the edges of our seats, we watched the green clad needle-man chatter and twitch into a seat opposite us. Everything about him was unsettling. Hisoka in all his creepy glory leaned his chin on a bridge made of his fingers, smiling easily.

Anxious, I reached out and grabbed Killua's hand under the table. He glanced at me with a frown, tugging at his hand. I glared sternly and sent him some of my aura. He didn't know what aura was, but he felt its protecting effects. His eyes widened a moment as he recognized what I was doing. Relenting, he pouted, uneasily watching the monsters seated across from us.

_Whether it's weird to hold your hand or not, I'm not letting you pass out again, loser... Deal with it. _

"Now tell me." Hisoka began in that eerily smooth voice of his. The hairs stood on the back of my neck. "Why do you want to take the Exam so badly, Middle-Schooler-Chan?"

I clenched my teeth at that. "You know exactly why."

Hisoka gave a casual wave of his hand. "Remind me."

I drew my hands into fists. "I need information. Hunters have access to information." I glanced anxiously at Killua. He was focusing on the green needle-man. _Good._ "That's all."

Hisoka chuckled and nodded amiably. "A fair observation. And you?" He said, turning his wicked gaze on Killua. I felt his hand twitch at being addressed.

"Oh... I just... I want to try it. I want to know if it's as difficult as everyone says it is." I noticed his palm was sweaty, despite his stern expression.

"That's all?" Hisoka said, amused. He raised a brow at his creepy friend. "Interesting."

I risked a glance at the door. _Even if we get the information, can we get away...?_

In that brief moment, I felt Hisoka's gaze like a bullet through the temple. Sharp and piercing. I barely had enough time to fully draw on my _Ten._ It was like holding up a garbage lid to a flame thrower: _not enough_. We were frozen.

He rose from his seat with the negligent ease of a predator. I felt his steps, the click of his heels as he approached, like the vibrating toll of an enormous bell. I felt his anger reverberate in my chest. I wasn't breathing.

"I'm going to make you a deal."

Click.

Click.

_He's coming for me._

"One you aren't permitted to refuse."

Click.

Click.

Click.

_He's going to kill me._

"I'll tell you where the exam is."

Click.

Click.

_He's behind us. _

"but, both of you must pass." He stopped.

_He's leaning down. His breath is tickling my ear._

"Or both of you die."

_The world is on fire and I can't see anything but black. I think I'm going to die. _

… _It's the needle-man. This is his aura as well. I can't handle both of them at the same time, not even my Ren could handle this... _

… _If I don't let go of Killua, I'm going to pass out..._

_I'm... going... to..._

And then suddenly it was gone. The aura vanished. I gasped and collapsed. My head hit the table, and everything was dark... and everything sounded fuzzy and thick, like there was cotton in my ears... I felt as if I was spinning.

"Sound fair?" Hisoka's sultry chuckle upset my stomach. I wrestled with my dinner. Then I realized I was panting. I opened my eyes, and Killua was in the same state. I squeezed his hand. I wanted to lay there and never get up. I wanted to cry. But to save my friend...

_Come on... we can do this, Fluffy. _My eyes were wet, and my aura was unwilling, but I pulled hard on it. _For the Hunter Exam, we have to..._ Steeling my will, I brought my energy to a boil in my stomach. With difficulty, I covered us with _Ren_. I felt a little better. Killua's eyes went wide, he was confused but I nodded at him. _We can do this._

Shaking, I pushed my body off of the table and stood, Killua rose with me. I turned and glared down at the bemused jester where he leaned over our chairs. I squeezed Killua's hand, forcing more energy into him.

"Deal." We said. Hisoka smiled an unpleasant smile. And then suddenly, the room stopped moving, like an elevator reaching the bottom floor. Killua and I share a shocked glance. _When did we start moving?_

"Then I can tell you that you're already in the exam."

"You bastard!" I growled as he sauntered towards the door. I could barely feel his aura through my _Ren_, but I knew that everyone else felt its sinister flare as the door opened. He was serious. I could be nothing but dust if he so chose. I stopped breathing.

"Don't. Disappoint me, Middle-Schooler-Chan. I won't hesitate to break you if you fail again." He murmured over his shoulder, unsmiling. I felt the chill of his glare, regardless of his dark aura. I was frozen as he turned and strode into the dimly lit exit. "I don't have time for weaklings..."


	5. Cookies and Pokemon

AN: Read the comic outtakes and behind the scenes on Deviant Art: AComicOfLies!

* * *

The Needle-Man chattered out of the room after the jester's cutting words. My breath stuck in throat as I looked down, ashamed. _I won't be weak this time... I _can't _be._

I felt Killua's eyes on me and glanced at him. Big, blue and piercing, I couldn't hold his intense eye contact. "Sorry for getting you into this, Fluffy..."

He made an indifferent noise with a shrug. "You said it would be dangerous."

I couldn't help but smile as we exited the room with a mixture of apprehension and wonder.

Leaving the cozy, well lit room, we found an entirely different setting. An enormous, dingy tunnel stretched on and on into the darkness. Tired florescent lights winked eerily at odd intervals, illuminating only the first fifty feet. But more importantly... There were people.

A great crowd of four-hundred or so stood waiting in the dim light. They were tense and well armed, but I wasn't impressed. I could only sense a handful of aura in the immense crowd. And half of said auras had come on the same elevator as I did. I almost felt guilty for already knowing _Nen_, it was like taking college course when you already have a doctorate in it.

A familiar small green man approached Killua and I. I stifled a chuckle at Killua's alarm at his weird appearance; Mr. Bean was aptly named for his wide, oblong head. I'd had the same reaction to the strange little man last year, but Mr. Bean was nothing if not polite.

"Take a badge please!" Mr. Bean said cheerily. I took one with a wink. "And take care not to lose it, please."

"Yes sir." I said, distracted as I fastened it to my hoodie. It read 396. Killua reluctantly took his button from the odd, short man and pinned 397 to his shirt. Hands in our pockets, Killua and I submerged ourselves in the quietly talking throng of examinees. He slowed his pace. I paused and looked him in the eye, he avoided my gaze.

"So what's your connection with that freaky clown?" Killua asked quietly, subtly glancing at the man in question. I hesitated at that. The thought churned my stomach, but I swallowed down the anxiety.

"He... was a friend of a friend." I said quietly, turning away and fussing with my pin. Killua made an alarmed noise.

"Haaaaa? Someone was friends with that guy?!" Killua whispered. I didn't meet his eyes and shrugged.

"It was... complicated." I said, shifting uneasily. Killua made an unsatisfied noise, but let it go. I shook away the unpleasant memory and pointed to him, giving him a stern glare. "Anyhow! _You_ are going to stay with_ me_ during this exam!"

Killua raised a brow, crossing his arms, unimpressed. "Whaaaaat? You _really _believe I'm going to do that?"

I set my hands on my hips. "Yes. That's the only way I can guarantee you'll pass!" I inspected my nails. "There's no way I'm going to be murdered because some _lame_ twelve year old failed the Hunter Exam."

He bristled with anger, growling through his teeth, fists bunched at his side. "_I_ won't be the one who gets us failed...!"

"I've taken this exam once before." I crossed my arms. "So _I'm_ going to make _sure_ we pass."

"Like hell! We'll see if you can even keep up!" He said angrily, backing away. I stared in disbelief as he spun and sprinted into the throng of intimidating Hunter examinees. "Try not to die!"

"You're going to run from me?!" I shouted in outrage, feeling furious scarlet bloom in my cheeks. There was no response; he was probably being a stupid shadow again. I ground my heel into the stone floor, clenching my teeth. "... you're _such_ a _brat!_"

I carefully sped through the crowd, dodging around the irritable contenders, eyes peeled for a familiar tuft of white hair. _How dare he play around like this – our lives are at stake! _

To my left, I heard the shout of a familiar voice. _There he is! _He and another boy were on the ground, rubbing their heads after what looked like a collision. I growled in frustration. "_Hey_, get over here! You're gonna get us in trouble!"

Killua glowered over his shoulder at me. Jumping up, he pulled the other boy to his feet. Said boy was dressed in green and and orange with spiky black hair, and he was wide eyed and confused.

"Come on, run from that guy, he's it!" Killua told him, pulling him away from me and into the crowd. The boy brightened excitedly and followed.

"Oh, we're playing tag?" The green clad boy exclaimed.

"_What?! _THIS ISN'T A GAME!" I shouted, chasing after the two boys. But immediately, I was yanked to a stop; my hood was snagged, pulling free of my head. _Not good._

I grabbed at my hood, tugging at it. "HEY! Let go of me!"

"Not a chance, pipsqueak!" An obnoxious voice declared. I glared up at the man who had a hold of my hood. He was tall and dressed in a stupid suit. _Who wears a suit to the Hunter Exam? _"Why are you chasing after that boy?!"

I growled. _Hisoka won't be happy if I go around telling people he's threatening our lives... or maybe he'd even be pleased._ I suppressed a shudder._ Either way it's better to keep it a secret._

"He's my partner for this exam! We have to pass _together_!" I said irritably. "So let me go, _old man_! I need to catch up!"

The man's temper was freely showing on his dumb face. "Hey, I'm not old!"

"Hmph. Maybe you should let him go, Leorio." Said a cool voice from behind the big dude. A pretty blonde woman stepped into view, arms crossed and smiling. "It's none of our business what he needs."

"Yeah! Listen to the pretty lady, I have things I need to do!" I said, glad to have someone support me. But suddenly, the woman's face didn't seem as friendly. And the big guy, Leorio was hiding laughter. I was confused.

"I'm. A boy." The blonde... _boy _said. I felt my cheeks get hot. _I called him pretty._

"Uhhhhh, sorryyyy!" I said, busying myself with trying to free my hood to disguise my embarrassment. "Uh... Your hair is pretty..."

"Maybe we shouldn't let him go." The shorter boy considered, unimpressed.

"Nooo, please!" I wailed. Then, there was an ear splitting scream. I plugged my ears, and so did Leorio, so my hood was free. I dodged free, but the blonde boy secured a hand on my elbow with a stern look. I sighed in exasperation.

There was a freakishly thin man with white hair and a mustache; he stopped a small item in his hand from screaming. He explained the first exam to us.

"So it's an endurance and speed test..." The blonde boy said thoughtfully. He was only a few years older than me by his looks. And he was probably smarter than the _much_ older guy, Leorio.

"Yeah, so I need to go catch up to my partner, if you would let me go!" I said, shaking my arm in the blond boy's grip. He refused to let go, but his grip wasn't rough.

"Your _partner_ is with our friend. Gon won't be letting him fail so soon, so don't worry about him." Leorio said stoutly, roughly grabbing my other elbow. I scowled fiercely. _I _**hate **_being touched...!_

"Ugh, let me go!" The crowd began jogging down the tunnel. "Hey, the exam is starting, we can't run like this!"

The blond released my elbow with a displeased pout. His attitude seemed out of character for his cool demeanor. _Just my luck_..._His ego is probably stung by that woman comment... _I decided.

"Fine!" Leorio released my other elbow, which I rubbed gratefully. "But we're not letting you chase after that kid!"

I growled. "You're being so stubborn! This is important, I need to make sure we both pass!"

"The other boy will be fine. Like Leorio said." The blond said, regaining his cool demeanor. We began jogging with the rest of the crowd. "Everyone deserves their space. If he doesn't want you hanging around him, then you should grant him is freedom."

I sulked at that... "Maybe you're right..."

"Of course we're right!" Leorio proclaimed, nose in the air. I sulked even more at his preening. "So for now, why don't you tell us your name, you little brat."

I pouted at that. "Hmph. My name is Clearian."

"You can call me Leorio-San, little guy!" He said proudly, roughly rubbing my hood, messing up my hair underneath. I batted his hand away, scowling.

"I already knew your name, you oaf... Le-Oreo, like the cookie?" I said with a grin. He was confused.

"... what cookie?"

I waved the comment away. "Don't worry about it... Oh, and uh... sorry for calling you a girl, haha..." I laughed nervously over to the blond to my right. "Um... your dress had me fooled."

"Uh... it's a tribal garb... and you can call me Kurapika, Clearian." Kurapika said, giving me a weird look. I stared back.

"... like Pikachu?"

"... what?"

"Nothing, nothing..."


	6. No Cheating

**Read the side comic by NotKiwi on Deviant Art!**

* * *

The tunnel was dim, accented with small passageways that branched off into darkness and full of the un-synchronized stomping of 405 people. And I was stressed.

_Killua is somewhere up ahead with a stranger... he might be dangerous... _I remembered the bright eyed boy in green. _But_ _I doubt it..._

_Regardless, I should probably gather information about him from these guys... _I glanced at the two in question. They looked almost harmless, I could beat them if I used Nen. But that would be embarrassing... using Nen on near defenseless teenagers? Lame.

_They probably won't let me go at least until the next part of the exam_... I fondled the pen in my pocket. _Or I could knock them out right now and catch up to Fluffy... it would serve them right for getting in my way. I could care less about Killua's freedom. There's too much at stake to play around like this... _

I soothed my agitated aura with a deep breath. _Oh well, he won't fail on this part of the exam. And allies are a good resource; I might as well make the best of it. It's time to deceive these chumps! _

I looked between my new companions as we ran. "So, why are you two taking the exam?"

Leorio snorted. "Money of course! Hunters are loaded."

I wasn't impressed. "You're willing to risk your life _just_ for that? There are better ways to get rich, Le-Oreo."

"Hmph, shows what_ you_ know, brat..."

"He's right Leorio, everyone knows the greatest reward for being a hunter is honor." Kurapika said condescendingly. The older boy bristled at that. I sensed that this had been a point of contention before, and quickly made a plan.

"I, uhhh, am in it to be a lawyer!" I interjected, before they could resume whatever argument was brewing. They gave me a skeptical look. My mind was racing to keep up with my story. "I used to go to a reeeeally expensive academy! But I was kicked out..."

"Well, I guess that explains why you're such a brat..." Leorio muttered. I glared at him. _You're gonna regret that...! _

"I want to become a lawyer, to fix the corruption in my town. They treat the poor badly there..." I said sadly. Leorio and Kurapika gave me doleful looks and I cheered inside. _Hook line and sinker! _"But I want to become a lawyer without the help of my stupid rich school! So I'm going to gain access to hunter information and become the best lawyer ever!"

Leorio and Kurapika fell for it, those big softies. I hid a grin.

_Well, most of it isn't a lie... _I'd been kicked out of a fancy academy, and my town was terribly corrupt. And once upon a time, I had dreamed of become a lawful crusader. But that was before the incident... so maybe it wasn't the whole truth, but hey. They probably weren't being completely honest, either. We had just met. _Strangers don't need to know the truth..._

"So what about your friend up there? What's his story?" I asked, shaking them from their thoughts. The boy in question was young, probably younger than I was. And he had an innocent face, but... so did Killua at times, and he was no helpless flower.

"Oh, Gon?" Kurapika said thoughtfully. Then he smiled. "Hmm... he's an extraordinary kid..."

"We've only known him a few days, but he's a great guy." Leorio was grinning, too. I was startled that they'd just met. "He's only 12, but he wants to be a hunter like his stupid father..."

I blinked in surprise at that. "Stupid? If he's a hunter he can't be _that_ dumb."

Leorio scowled so deeply his face turned ugly. "He was dumb enough to abandon his own child!"

Everyone was quiet for a moment. _They really care about this kid..._

"... well, what about your parents? I'm an orphan." I said quietly.

There was another pause. _Score another pitty point for me!_ Leorio scratched his cheek.

"M-my parents are fine... we're just poor. So they were always working. That's why I'm going to be rich, so I don't have to worry like they do!"

Kurapika was silent a moment longer.

"I … prefer not to speak of my family." He said finally.

I zipped my lips and threw away the key. _Awkwarrrrrd. There's a dark, brooding past if I ever saw one...note to self: no personal questions for Pikachu. _

And then I noticed the trash. And my mood turned sour.

Tonpa. He was running all on his own, just ahead of us. It was no wonder he didn't have any friends. I was surprised that everyone here didn't outright _hate_ him for the tricks he might or might not have played on them. Maybe they saw him as the Exam's personal form of natural selection, weeding out the weak and saving them some competition.

I personally wasn't as forgiving. _You hurt someone important to me, last year... you're finished._

"I'll be back." I told Kurapika and Leorio.

"Hey, you better not go after Gon and Killua!" Leorio shouted annoyingly. I rolled my eyes and waved dismissively, grinning to myself as I caught up to the plump man. "I'm watching you, brat!"

"Ohhh, I remember you from last year!" I said in wonder up at the man. He gave me a surly glance. "You're Tonpa-San!"

"Yeah, I remember you. You were will that magician freak last year, weren't you." He said with a grunt, uninterested. "You didn't die last year, that's good. But I have no interest in non-rookies, so would you buzz off? I'm kind of busy."

I smiled a smile that I knew wasn't pleasant.

This man had to pay. And I didn't mind being the one to dirty my hands with his suffering. I subtly drew my pen from my pocket as I let him pass me. "You should be nicer to people who are stronger than you..."

And then he screamed. Everyone around us stopped running to stare. He collapsed, clutching his leg.

"AAHHHH- IT'S BROKEN!" He wailed. I hid my smirk, feigning horror as someone dropped to his side, reaching for his leg. Tonpa swatted him away. "NO, don't touch it!"

"What? Let me see!" Leorio shoved people out of the way to get to the collapsed man. "I'm training to be a doctor, let me see."

That surprised me. _Him a doctor?_

Tonpa continued to wail and swat away hands, but Kurapika held down one arm with both of his hands. I kneeled and held down his other arm, probably squeezing harder than I needed to.

Kurapika and Leorio were trying very hard for someone they hardly knew, I was impressed by their kindness. I cocked a brow as Leorio's deft hands palpated the man's leg. But the longer he searched, the louder Tonpa's cries became and the more confused Leorio became. I waited patiently, watching Tonpa's contorted expression with a look of horror. But deep down inside... I was pleased.

This man had hurt so many, broken the wills of so many, even got them _killed_... just for kicks.

He was _trash_. It was my civil duty to take him out.

"It's fine." Leorio said finally, looking unsatisfied but certain. Tonpa disagreed.

"NO! IT'S SHATTERED!" He screamed, eyes and nose dripping grotesquely. Leorio rose from his place beside him, looking down without a smile.

"There's nothing wrong. So there's nothing I can do for you." He said, turning to continue his run. Kurapika hesitated to follow. "Let's go."

"You're the expert, Leorio." I said quietly a I rose, but smiled wickedly to Tonpa as I passed. "Bye, bye."

Tonpa's gross beady eyes locked on me accusingly. "YOU! YOU DID THIS! FIX ME!"

"The Hunter Association will help you soon enough!" I said innocently and turned away, chuckling to myself. _Maybe he won't be fit for next year's exam?_ The thought made me warm inside.

Until.

My feet left the ground. _What-_

One moment I was running after Kurapika, the next - my back crashed into stone. The wind rushed from my lungs, shoved out on impact.

I gasped, reaching for air but it stuck in my throat in fear... _Oh no._

A shadow swallowed me and a chill gripped my heart.

_Hisoka. _

Towering, lethal, and frowning down at me, he was angry. Again.

I stared up at him, petrified, unable to cry out. We were in a dark side alley in the tunnel; no one noticed us as they ran past. I thought about fight or flight, but all I could imagine was his hand through my chest if I moved.

He wasn't happy.

He reeked of the sickeningly sweet aroma of murderous intent; it oozed from him, thick and choking. He loomed over me, frowning with one arm braced against the wall over my head. I swallowed with difficulty._ He's so close... I can feel his heat._

"W-what is it?" I demanded, trying to sound brave. But I was trembling.

He looked down at me displeased. I felt like I was dunked in ice.

I flinched as he lifted his hand. But he didn't hit me.

Instead, a card appeared between his fingers, he ran it down my cheek thoughtfully. I winced but didn't swat his hand away this time.

I didn't dare move. _What have I done? Is he angry that Killua and I aren't sticking together...?_

Finally he spoke. In a low rumble that I felt in my bones.

"You may be taking the Hunter Association's Exam..." He said slowly and deliberately. "... but I'm your _real_ examiner, Middle-Schooler-Chan... You only pass if I say so..."

He leaned down to my level.

The overwhelming darkness in his aura swallowed me.

The cloying stench of murderous desire stuck in my throat.

The sharp cold in his eyes promised violence.

I stared down at the 394 button on his shirt, unable to hold his gaze.

"I won't tolerate cheating, Liar-Chan. No more using your _Nen_."

I couldn't move to respond._I used it so subtly, how did he notice...?! _

When I didn't move, I felt a sharply pointed card at my throat.

I trembled... as he drew the knife-like playing card up my throat... slowly lifting my chin... forcing me to stare helplessly... into his _deep_ displeasure. The sharp tip pricked at my skin, threatening to break it. "_Understand?_"

I was numb with fear.

Under his undivided attention and irritated frown, I felt crushed.

I didn't even know I spoke my understanding until he suddenly smiled and the overpowering aroma of murder vanished. "Good!

"The exam would be too easy for you with your Nen. Then it would be no fun for _me_."

I gasped for air, falling to my knees, clutching my throat as he sauntered away. _Seeing him t__wice in one day is too much..! _I stared after him with wide wet eyes, scowling. He paused at the end of the alley.

"Oh, and do keep up with the other little ones." He said with a mischievous glance over his shoulder. "It's good to make boy friends."


	7. Sweat and Tears

Thank you to everyone for the reviews, especially to **Arcana The Wolf** for being such a loyal reviewer! I appreciate it!

* * *

I scowled as I gathered my pride off of the floor were Hisoka had left me in shambles..._ how degrading..._

I dusted off my knees. _This had better not become a regular thing... that freaky clown is getting too used to tormenting me with that freaky aura of his..._

I ruffled my hair as I exited the depressing little nook that Hisoka had cornered me in. _I think I'd die if anyone saw that.._

"H-hey." A voice said to my right. A boy was there, in sunglasses and a baseball cap. My cheeks warmed. _HE SAW. _The boy scratched the back of his head, his cheeks were just as red as mine probably were. "I, uh... thanks."

I stared at him. _Is this guy okay in the head...?_ I gritted my teeth. "_What,_ did you enjoy the show?"

He was red as a beet all the way to his sunglasses and up to his hat. He waves his hands wildly. "No, no, no! Of course not!"

I glared, seething.._. does he get off on old men molesting kids...?! What a kinky pervert... _

"It's just!" The boy started, then sighed. "Tonpa hurt my friend last year. So thanks for... I don't know, getting revenge on him..."

I blinked a bit. I wasn't sure what to say to that. "Oh, uh... you'rrrrre welllllcooome?"

The guy scratched the back of his head. "Hehe... it's kind of weird to say, but yeah... I'm just glad someone did it!"

With that he began jogging, catching up to the rest of the examinees. I watched him for a moment. Tonpa was still making gross noises to my right.

… _somehow I feel worse about this, now..._

I shrugged and began jogging.

… _I know Hisoka said that I need to keep up with Killua and his friend, but... they're all the way at the front!_ I scowled. _Without aura, I'm never going to catch up..._

Hisoka was already no where in sight, but I could see Kurapika's blond head, bobbing in the dim light ahead. _Hmph. That crazy clown is going to have to suck it up. I'll catch up in the next exam!_

_On a side note, how did those two old men leave me behind..?! _I thought irritably. _You'd think they'd pay attention after all the fuss they made about me chasing Killua... _

Then I noticed Leorio up ahead, he wasn't running._ Oh, they did remember! _

"Hey, old man, how could you leave me behind...!?" I shouted over at him as I approached, running faster. But as I got closer, I noticed he was hunched over and breathing heavily. _Too_ heavily. Kurapika stood not too far ahead, just watching. I came to a stop, puzzled. "... what's going on?"

Leorio's brow was drenched in sweat, and his suitcase was tossed aside. He shook his head. "... I should have.. known I wasn't... cut out to be a hunter... this is too much...!"

My expression fell. I felt cold as I looked a Kurapika. _These two are friends, aren't they...? And yet it looks like Kurapika is willing to leave him behind._

Leorio was huffing and puffing like a nearly drowned man. _To see such proud guy reduce to this... it's just pathetic... I've got to do something..._

I flexed my hands. _Well, I can't use my Nen... _I sighed and closed my eyes. _Geeze... time for the old fashioned method..._ I squatted and looked up at Leorio with a mischievous smile. "Man, that's too bad."

The older teen growled in frustration. I shrugged. "I thought you were better than that, Leorio."

He wiped his brow. "Yeah.. me too..."

I rose, taking his suitcase as I walked away. "Hah, then I guess I'll take this! And if you're not there to stop me, I guess I'm going to go pester Gon and Killua until the end of time! You'd better stop me, Old-Man-Le-O-Re-oooo!"

There was a moment of silence. And then he sprang to life.

"LIKE HELL!" He roared, both arms pumping as he chased after me. I screamed.

"IT'S ALIVE" I cried as I sprinted. Kurapika smiled and began running again.

"I'M NOT GIVING UP YET, LEAVE THOSE KIDS ALOOOONE!"

When we caught up to Kurapika, Leorio had taken off his shirt and blazer and was glistening grossly. I was almost embarrassed to be seen with him, until Kurapika stripped off his tunic. I regarded them at a distance with a disturbed smile. _Well, if two of them do it, I guess it's not so weird... still... shirtless men... _I shuddered.

"Why don't you take off your jacket, too, Clearian?" Kurapika asked. He was beginning to sound winded, but not nearly as exhausted as Leorio. I laughed awkwardly.

"YEAH! It's REALLY liberating!" Leorio said, huffing and puffing. I held up my hands.

"Aaahaha, nah, I'm fine... I'm not even tired yet!" I said, giving a corny flex of my right arm. Kurapika gave me an appraising look.

"Wow... where did you get such stamina?" He asked. I shrugged.

"Uhh... the academy, I guess." I lied. Running for long periods of time was sometimes necessary when evading police. Thieves got plenty of cardio.

"HMPH! Lucky brat...!" Leorio said stoutly. I scowled. "Rich kids like you get everything handed to them, while poor guys like me have to work hard!"

I really scowled at that. "Hey! Just because I went to a fancy academy doesn't mean I was _rich_!"

"Really?! Cause I think it does!"

"Leorio, he already said he was an orphan...!" Kurapika scolded.

"Yeah, and probably adopted by some stupid rich people! They probably wanted to show some poor brat what a decent life was, so they could feel good about themselves!"

I clenched my fists.

"I HAD A SCHOLARSHIP!" I shouted. "I earned the top grades in the ENTIRE school so I could keep it! You don't know ANYTHING about me, so don't you DARE say I had it given to me!"

They were silent at that, watching me. And I realized that I'd stopped running. I shook my head and resumed my run. "... and I was never adopted."

They were silent a little while longer, and then Leorio made a pained noise. I assumed Kurapika elbowed him.

"I uh... sorry, Clearian..." Leorio said, pouting and embarrassed. I shook my head and gave a long sigh.

"Whatever... it's not like I like rich people either..." I muttered. _Unless I'm picking their pockets.. _

Kurapika cleared his throat. "Anyhow. Surely money isn't the only thing you're interested in then, Leorio. Seeing how you hate people with wealth."

Leorio focused on his running with a scowl. "Yeah right, money is amazing! I just hate people who use it wrong!"

"Hmph. And you think you'd use it right?" Kurapika chided. I arched a brow at the thought as well. "Because cars, women and booze are great uses."

"It's not just that!" Leorio shouted defensively.

"Uhuh? Luxury homes and yachts are important uses as well!" I scoffed. "Tell me, do you know which island you're going to buy first? Or would you rather build a sweat shop in Azia?"

"SHUT UP!" He shouted. And the tone of his voice shook me. Kurapika and I stared at him. "I... lost a friend, okay?! It was a curable illness, but the cost to cure it was too damn high! So he _died_!

"No kid should die like that... no one should die because they born poor!" I thought I saw tears in his eyes, but that may have been sweat. "... I'm going get filthy rich and open a clinic where no one has to pay for their treatment! Poor, rich, young, old, everyone deserves treatment!"

There was silence. _Sweat_ was dripping down his cheeks. _Well, well, well... a heart of gold under that ego...?_

"That's..." I started but lost what I wanted to say and looked down. _He tried to save a friend... I hope I can save mine..._

"Very noble of you." Kurapika finished, smiling. Then that smile faded. "My family..."

My eyes widened. _He said he didn't want to... _

"My clan." He corrected. "The Kurta Clan. Was annihilated."

…_. oh. _

"My clan is famed for having beautiful scarlet eyes... one of the seven most beautiful colors of the world... a group of vile thieves sought those eyes..." He said, sounding distant. "Like exotic animals to poachers, my clan was slaughtered... and their eyes harvested.

"It is my goal to rid the world of the scum that destroyed my clan... and to find all of the eyes of my clansmen.

"I am not afraid to die for this cause. I probably will... but I only fear that my hatred will fade over time."

I swallowed hard. _Okay, that was waaaaay too much to handle... what do I say to that...?! Oh man... I really AM a spoiled brat compared to these guys...! Shit, shit, shit...!_

But I didn't have to say anything. Leorio threw his sweaty arms around the two of us. I stared in disgust. _GROOOOOOSS! _

"Alright, it's decided then! We're gonna get through this stupid exam and achieve our dreams! No matter what!" Leorio shouted, sweat was profusely running down his cheeks and his nose was dripping grotesquely. Kurapika and I pushed him off.

"GET OFF OF ME!"

"YOU STINK OLD MAN!"

* * *

When we exited the tunnel other examinees were milling about, awaiting the next phase. Leorio flopped down on the ground, completely drenched in slimy sweat, his chest heaving loudly. I eyed him, holding his suitcase over my shoulder, unimpressed.

I toed his cheek lightly. "Hey, get it together, old man. It's unhealthy to lay down after a run."

"He's right, Leorio. If you lay down your heart rate is going to slow too quickly." Kurapika said disapprovingly. "You need to walk around to cool off."

Leorio groaned and swatted my foot away. I pouted and shrugged. "Your funeral! You're pretty close to dying of old age, anyhow!"

He grabbed my ankle as I walked away and pulled it out from under me. _Shit- _I fell on my face, still clutching his stupid suitcase.

"HEY! Don't bring me down to your level, OLD MAN!" I shouted, kicking at his fingers around my ankle. He grinned.

"Now we're both laying down after a run, you're going to die WITH me, brat!" He growled, pouncing and holding down my arms. Kurapika was tiredly pinching the bridge of his nose.

"UGH! Get off of me, you monster! THIS IS RAPE!" I shouted, flailing.

"Woooow, I didn't know you were into guys, let alone older men, Clearian." A voice above me drawled. His shadow fell on me, and I knew exactly who it belonged to.

"KILLLUUUUAAAA!" I roared, struggling even harder. The white haired boy grinned maliciously down at me, his face darkened by shadow. The black haired boy was with him and acknowledged Leorio and Kurapika excitedly. "You brat, I'm going to strangle you!"

"Hey, hey, hey, no strangling!" Leorio's stupid voice grated on my nerves.

"GET OFF ME, PERVERT!" I swiftly kicked him in the groin and shoved him away. Killua scowled and used Gon as a shield, who held up his hands and laughed nervously.

"Now, now.." The younger boy said. "No need for violence..."

"How dare you leave me behind...?!" I demanded, lunging for the two of them. Gon's eyes went round and his smile twitched. But I stopped short. Stupid Leorio had my ankle again! Even curled in a ball, one hand on his damaged goods, he still got in my way.

"Hold it-" He said, obviously pained.

"Hurry up and DIE old man!" I shouted, stomping on his hand, but he refused to let go even as his eyes filled with tears. Killua stuck out his tongue, making a noise and dragged Gon into the crowd.

"Come on, Gon! We've got to hide!" He said as the boy ran willingly.

"Oh, are we playing Hide and go Seek, now?!" He said excitedly.

"GET BACK HERE!" I wailed. _Hisoka's going to murder me, if you don't...! _I spied said joker out of the corner of my eye, arms crossed as he watched us smiling with his freaky needle friend. I felt myself start sweating. Then an arm was draped around my shoulder, and the joker disappeared behind it. It was Kurapika's.

"Why don't you just hang out with us, Clearian?" He asked genially. He winked. "We don't mind having you around."

I stared, jaw slack, then pouted and crossed my arms. "Whatever... it's not like I hate being around you, either... I just have something I need to do!"

Leorio then rose from the ground and slumped over both of us. I glared at him. _He recovers quickly... _"But hanging out with us is way more important! Right Kurapika?"

"Get off of me, you reek." Kurapika monotoned.

"YOU STINK TOO!" He complained.

"Not as badly as you do, old man...!" I pinched my nose at his disgusting man stink.

Then, to my alarm, Kurapika sniffed me. "Hmm, you don't smell bad at all!"

I didn't know how to respond. "U-uhh.."

Next Leorio took a big whiff. "Waaaa, you smell _good!_ How!?"

"Aaaah – I have a special diet!" I said nervously, holding up my hands. "G-get away from me!"

Slipping out from under their arms, I ran away, but they were close behind. _Why is this happening..!? Is this how Killua feels..!?_

"Oi! Tell me your secret, Clearian!" Leorio shouted, arms pumping fiercely.

"You can't keep that kind of secret from us!" Kurapika yelled. And there must have been sweat in my eyes, because they were watering.

"Stay awa-" I almost shouted. But a conveniently placed foot tripped me. I already knew whom it belonged to.

"KILLUA!" I shouted at the boy's catlike smile. He darted back into the crowd before I could grab him, and Kurapika and Leorio quickly scooped me up into their tight clutches. Tugging on my arms, they sniffed at me like some exotic flower. My pride was crushed flat.

_Between crazy clowns and these __**average**__ clowns… I'm never going to survive this exam... someone help me..._


	8. A Full House

Last chapter was mostly comic relief, and I feel sorry about that, haha. So here we go! Back to action!

Don't forget NotKiwi's **comics** on Deviant Art and Tumblr!

* * *

_Fuck... fuck... no... this can't be happening... _

But it was. People were dropping like flies in a foggy forest clearing, and Leorio, Kurapika and I were trapped... behind us, freaky, murderous monsters were eating people. In front of us, an even _freakier,_ even_ more _murderous monster was killing indiscriminately. But at least the monsters behind us did so with purpose and out of necessity. The one who set his sights on us did so for his own, disgusting pleasure. I clenched my teeth.

Toxic, fuchsia blood lust radiated from him, mixing with the ominous fog. He grinned over his shoulder at us from a ring of fresh corpses.

_Just my luck..._ _running into Hisoka __**again**__... that's__** three times**__ today..!_

My legs were trembling and my heart pounded in my skull. _How did we get into this mess...?! All I wanted was to get through this damn exam without getting killed, but here I am..!_

I glanced at Leorio and Kurapika, their tense stances, the sweat on their brows. _Whatever... it can't be helped.. either way.. these two can't get involved with him... I can't let him toy with them like... like someone... _My hands clenched.

"My, my, enjoying the magic show?" Hisoka drawled breezily. He spoke casually, but I could feel his excitement through his vibrating aura. The men, now murdered, had awoken the insatiable beast inside him. His voice was like a snake slithering down my back. I took an unintentional step back. "How about for my next trick, I make your friends disappear?" The bloody card between his fingers vanished with a wave.

Pain gripped my chest. _I can't let this happen... I can't let these two die! They have so much to live for...! Damn it all... _Impulsively, I stepped forward. "Let us through, Hisoka! We aren't _toys_! We're not here for your games!"

He closed his eyes as he turned towards us, smiling. With a flourish of his fingers, three new cards came to his hand. "Oh, but this isn't a game. This is the Hunter Exam, Middle-Schooler-Chan." He said, examining and picking through his cards with a creepy smile. His eyes shot up at us, piercing like bullets. "And my exam is mandatory."

I could feel them waver beside me. Kurapika wanted to sprint away, and Leorio was scared witless. Hell, I wanted to scream and run the other way. _But I... I'm the most competent here... damn you two..! I won't be responsible for your deaths! _My eyes felt wet. "... if you want someone to test, then it will be me! You two go ahead, you have nothing to do with this; I'll deal with him...!"

There was silence, but no one moved.

"God damn it, run! I'm being _generous_!" I hissed under my breath, exasperated.

Then Leorio gave a grunt, drew his dagger from his pocket and stepped in front of me. I stared up at him. "Like hell we have nothing to do with this... You want to fight? Then so will I. It would be irresponsible to leave some kid behind; I'm the oldest here, aren't I?!"

"I guess there's no choice, then..." Kurapika gave a sigh, then chuckled, drawing his wooden half swords from his waistband. "Hmph... If Leorio's staying then it would be embarrassing to run, wouldn't it..?"

I stared. I could hear the tremble in their voices. I could _see_ their hands shaking! _I'm trying to save your lives, damn it! Take the gift and go! _

Panic gripped my chest. "You know we can't win – are you _insane?! RUN!_"

They ignored me. They didn't escape when they had the chance. And I felt another friend slip through my fingers as Leorio charged at Hisoka with a shout.

"NOT _**AT**_ HIM, YOU MORON!" I stared in horror but couldn't move. I turned to Kurapika. "_Please_ don't do this!"

"We appreciate the gesture Clearian, but we have too much pride to run while you fight..." Kurapika looked back at me and smiled. "You tried to protect us your way. Let us protect you our way. You're not the only one allowed to be selfish."

Then Kurapika charged in after Leorio, his wooden boken in hand. I watched helplessly.

_They're going to commit suicide... unless I... my Nen... _I stared at my hands._ But he said I couldn't... if I use it, he'll kill us for __**sure**__!_

The cards vanished from his hands as Hisoka simply dodged their wild attacks, humming in pleasure. He was clearly enjoying himself, and that pissed me off. They were obviously outclassed; their swings were going wide by a foot. I was torn, trembling out of fear... fear of Hisoka... and fear of losing... _friends?_

… _I just met them... they're aren't friends...!_ I considered running. But my legs wouldn't let me turn away..._ or are they...?_

"Aren't you going to help?" Hisoka's question cut through my thoughts like a knife. He watched me with those wicked eyes, easily dodging kicks and punches without giving their efforts a glance. "Your friends are going to fail... this is the most important exam of their lives..."

_He's right... this is a test of life or death! _Still, I was rooted to the spot. _But what can I do without my aura...?! He said no cheating..._

Then with a wicked smirk Hisoka began fighting back. My eyes prickled with tears as Leorio shouted in pain, taking a punch to the stomach as Hisoka pulled him by the tie. Kurapika's jaw made a sick _CRACK_ as he suffered a punch to the jaw. I hung my head, trembling. _I just met them... they shouldn't mean a thing...! So why can't I RUN!? _

"Your _friends_ are going to die... But you don't want to _cheat_, do you?" Hisoka chuckled, stepping on Kurapika's hand as he reached for his boken. He cried out in pain. "My, my, you're such an obedient little middle schooler."

_ENOUGH!_

"Hisoka!" I shouted, fists bunched and trembling. _It's my fault this is happening... I can't lose more friends!_ I glared through tears as I looked up. "I'm sorry, but this is the Hunter exam! There's no such thing as cheating!"

_I must be insane..._

I was shouting as I charged in. My pen was in my hand and I couldn't hear anything but the dull roar of my voice and my heart pounding in my head and all I could see was Hisoka's evil eyes locked on mine.

_Their idiocy must be contagious..._

I swiped wildly at Hisoka with my pen. He dodged, flipping backwards with catlike grace. He was unimpressed by my aim, but it wasn't meant to hit him; he'd moved away from Kurapika and Leorio. My hands were coated with scarlet aura as I grabbed their hands, helping them up_._

_To use this ability here and now... it's still only the first exam... I must be weaker than I thought... _

Kurapika and Leorio stared in awe as the red washed over them._ Ten percent, Kurapika! Fifteen, Leorio!_

Hisoka's eyes glittered.

_Demonic Law: __**The Ruby Scale**__! _

"Breaking the rules...?" Hisoka gave a pleased leer, settling into a real fighting stance with a creepy lick of his lips. "Good! You're learning."

I scowled, dashing forward and punched with a red _Ren_ enhanced fist; Hisoka easily pushed the punch aside, grabbing my wrist with glee in his eyes.

"Oh, are we done playing around?" He said quietly as I struggled to free myself.

"Fuck you!" I shouted, kicking him in the jaw.

Hisoka chuckled, barely phased by the kick. He licked his lips slowly. "... then I'll fight for real, too."

My eyes widened. I slammed a _Ren_ chop at his hand, forcing him to release me as his aura erupted in full force. I dove towards the other two. _Kurapika, Leorio! _

I shoved more vivid red aura into them._ Fifteen percent, Kurapika! Twenty, Leorio! _

The tidal wave of aura slammed into us; my red aura covered us, barely holding up against it. And then Hisoka charged. Like a demon, thirsting for the kill. I stared with horror over my shoulder.

_If he's fighting seriously.. this is _**Hisoka**_... do I have enough strength to even give him a work out?_

I forced my aura into my legs and dashed to meet his charge before the others could react. _We can't beat him with strength... I have to think of some other way...! Fast!_

A card came to his fingers and I fought off the panic; dodging his insanely quick swipes. His manic smile and his nearly invisible card were all I could see; his hands were too fast! _I can't dodge everything! _

I felt the cuts sooner than I saw them; they sprung to life upon my hands and sliced my jacket as I dodged backwards. _Is running all I can do..!? I have to fight!_

But then my back hit something hard. _A tree?!_ And I froze as Hisoka's hand drew back, lethal like a cobra. His eyes danced.

"RAAAH!" Leorio shouted, slashing wildly at Hisoka who effortlessly dodged sideways. I stared, trembling.

_He... he would have killed me..._

I stood rooted to the spot as Kurapika swung his boken down on Hisoka's unguarded back; the man twirled out of the way like a helicopter, delivering a chop into the back of Kurapika's neck. The blonde stumbled, eyes wide, I barely managed to catch him.

_This is bad... Hisoka is still going easy on them... but if it weren't for my __**Ruby Scale**__, they would both be knocked out by now... _

Kurapika scowled over his hunched shoulders, hand on his neck as I bolstered his strength with my aura. "We can't win like this, Kurapika...!"

He frowned at me through knit brows. "Well what can we do?"

I could only stare hopelessly. _I'm not sure... _

"_... _theoretically, we should have the upper hand with our numbers advantage... but we just aren't using it right." Kurapika muttered, wiping a bit of blood off of his chin.

Hisoka slashed at Leorio's hand with his card, making him drop his knife and stumble backwards.

"Leorio!" I shouted. And I watched, frozen, as Hisoka brought a fraction of his aura to his fist. And slammed it into Leorio's cheek. "_LEORIO!_"

The boy in the suit fell. I clenched my pen in my hand and ran towards him. "HISOKA!"

The man glanced with cold indifference. I swiped at him with my pen. "GET AWAY!"

He leaned back, easily avoiding the attack. And then his hand found my throat. And my feet left the ground. _Damn it! I'm not thinking straight!_ I cringed, swinging my pen down at his arm. He smiled and let the pen sink into his flesh. His eyes rolled back in pleasure.

I stared in horror as he pulled the pen out himself with a throaty _moan_._ It... it didn't work..?! _

Then he squeezed my throat and I choked, kicking weakly. I was dimly aware of Kurapika shouting something, but Hisoka had my full attention. At this proximity, his bloodlust penetrated deep into my bones. He shuddered with delight as I glared and clawed at his hand with Ren enhanced strength. His enormous aura easily repelled my attacks. _I have to use my Nen on myself! _But I never got the chance.

"I'll admit... you've gotten better, Middle-Schooler-Chan." Hisoka murmured. I felt him squeeze tighter; I thought my neck would snap. And then pain exploded in my stomach as his fist sunk into it. I choked on blood. And my vision swam... and my grip over my aura slipped... and **The** **Ruby Scale** faded. "... but not good enough."

I couldn't even contemplate my imminent demise as the world darkened. Then he suddenly let go. And I fell on my hands and knees, gasping for air. _W-what..? What happened..? _

I looked up, though it pained my neck, and saw Hisoka looking to the right. My head spun as I fell flat on my aching stomach, and followed his gaze.

… _white and blue... green and black... familiar colors... _

Then the colors moved so fast it hurt my head. I closed my eyes, focusing on breathing._ It hurts... my throat hurts so badly... every breath is agony. _

There was noise... and someone was touching my back.

".. ey.. hey, Clearian-Kun...! Are you okay...?!" A high pitched voice keened. My head hurt, and I just wanted to sleep, but I opened my eyes... the world was fuzzy and out of focus... but there was green and black. Such familiar colors...

"... y... you're... G... on..?" I whispered, through a scratchy throat. I swallowed hard. It hurt to talk.

"Get a grip!" A stern voice commanded. I recognized that voice. It grated on my nerves.

"... fl... uffy.." I muttered, moving rise but winced as my side flared in agony. _I can't be this pathetic in front of him...! He'll never let me live this down..! _With difficulty, I stirred my aura to life, and everything became clearer. Gon was kneeling beside me, concerned. Killua stood between us and Hisoka.

"Hey, I thought you said you weren't going to fail this exam?" Killua shouted brusquely over his shoulder. I frowned at that. _This is your fault, brat..._

"Killua said that he was worried you would die!" Gon said, concern pinching his expression. Killua made a distraught noise.

"I-I wasn't _worried_! It's not like I care if you die, it would just be a pain if you did!" He squawked. I smiled grimly at that, rising with Gon's help.

"Right... because I'm sure you could fight this guy all on your own..." I muttered, wincing at the state of my throat and cautiously eyeing Hisoka's relaxed figure. Killua regarded me critically, frowning.

"Looks like you got beaten pretty badly." He said. I frowned at that.

"Yeah, and Kurapika and Leorio, too!" Gon added, looking between the two unconscious older boys. _They must have passed out after my aura faded... _

"They're just... exhausted..." I said, feeling defeated. _I couldn't even save them on my own... _

I felt Hisoka's delight through his aura and tensed. He was thrilled.

"Oh look, more toys to play with, I was getting bored with the other ones..." He said, gazing at Gon with one hand on his hip. His tongue grazed his lips. Then he turned his gaze on Killua. "But I'm not interested in playing with you, kitten."

Killua stepped in front of us when Hisoka approached. I could feel Killua's murderous intent rolling off of him. "Aw, why not? It's rude to leave people out."

My heart suffered. _This again? I can't lose these two to him as well!_ My throat ached, but I had to stop him. "Killua no! Even you can't fight him; we have to run!"

Hisoka raised a brow. "Your friend is coward. But also right. You're good, I'll admit that, but not good enough to beat me." He placed a finger on his lip, then brightened. "Oh, I know! I'll let you pass if you step aside; that would be a nice compromise."

Killua settled into a fighting stance. "Hmph, not a chance. You said we both had to pass this exam. You're our examiner right now, aren't you?" Hisoka smiled at that. "I've never been to normal school before... but my mom would be sad if I skipped a test. So I'm not going anywhere."

Hisoka watched us for a moment. His stillness disturbed me... I stared dolefully at Killua's back.

… _you should have just taken the pass and ran, you idiot...! Why is everyone I befriend so suicidal..? _

Then Hisoka chuckled. His shoulders shook. I stared in horror as he moved to cover his face and laughed hysterically.

My mind raced. I'd seen him like this before. And bad things happened.

_I can't carry Leorio and Kurapika out of here. I can't even carry myself..! This is it... we're really going to die here..._

I watched breathlessly. Then the man sighed. Dropping his hand with a euphoric grin. "Fine. Just a simple quiz, then."

"I'll try not to kill you." Killua said confidently.

I was stunned by their speed. They were nothing but blurs. I couldn't even keep up with their movements. _They're so fast!_

In the moments I saw them, Killua's face was twisted in a mask of rage, and Hisoka was grinning with relish.

"How did this happen to Leorio and Kurapika?" Gon asked, concern straining his voice as he watched the two fight.

"Ah... they're... _we_ were just in the wrong place..." I managed, rising to my hands and knees. Gon supported me. "... Hisoka wanted to test us."

"Hisoka, huh..." Gon said, looking on with determination. Then he rose. "I have to help Killua!"

"Ah, wait, Gon!" I said, grabbing Gon's hand. The boy stared in surprise, with big innocent eyes. I softened my gaze. _He's really just a kid... _I passed on as much red aura as I could manage. _Gon, fifteen percent._

"Just..." I wasn't sure how to phrase it... "... try not to excite him... He _reallllyyyyyy_ 'likes' strong fighters... you don't want him to 'like' you." I said, finally. I hoped he understood. He smiled confidently.

"Right." He said with a nod, turning and running. "Whatever that means!"

_... he's too pure for this world..._


	9. Aces Over Kings

Ahahahahahahahahha. Sorry.

This chapter took twice as long, because I re-wrote it... _twice_... it just wasn't flowing right... I'm happy with how it turned out, though! So I hope it was worth the wait..!

* * *

Little can be ferocious. Birds can attest to that. If you've ever seen little birds chasing a crow away from their nest, seeing Gon and Killua go at Hisoka was something like that.

But while Gon and Killua were tiny finches, Hisoka was a _dragon_. He was unbeatable. He was so huge and so strong. How they could face him without hesitation was concerning. I questioned their sanity.

I grit my teeth and forced myself to stand. I loathed that I had to rely on my aura, forcing it to burn to keep me standing. It was an unfair crutch.

Gon jumped into the fight, swinging his fishing pole. Killua darted around, dodging Gon's wild swings and swiping at Hisoka with his bare fists. But as expected, Hisoka was inhumanly quick. It looked like a tightly choreographed dance as he pirouetted, jumped and flipped just out of range of their attacks.

I knew for a fact that they couldn't win. _They can't even touch him..._ I had to think of some other way of ending this fight, before the boys got hurt. Or worse... someone hurt _Hisoka_. I shuddered at the thought, and out of the corner of my eye, Leorio's knife glinted at me. The blade was just out of reach of his hand, and seeing him laying there made me wonder whose fault it was. _Hisoka's..? Or mine... _

I clenched my fists and stoked my aura like dying embers and picked up the blade.

_Using a switch blade... how desperate have I become..? _I frowned down at the knife in my hand, glancing at its unconscious owner. "I'll give this back later, Oreo... for now..."

"Hisoka!" I shouted, pointing the knife at him. He was in the middle of a back-bend, avoiding a kick from Killua. He flipped onto his hands and back onto his feet, landing smoothly. "How do we pass this stupid _exam_ of yours? What are your terms?!"

"Hmmm, interesting question.." He drawled, crossing his arms and shifting his weight to one leg. Gon's fishing lure dove for his face, he easily tilted his head out of the way. Killua ran, drawing Hisoka's eyes as he moved to flank him.

"I suppose... if any of you could land a hit on me." He said, side stepping a lure shot and redirecting a punch from Killua and smiling down at him. "Then I'd let you pass."

I twirled the knife in my hand, getting a feel for its weight as I considered that. My side was aching painfully, and my **Ruby Scale** was used up so my normal fighting style was out of the question. But _damn_ me if I was going to sit around and_ hope_ they could save us! "Fine. Just one hit."

"Ohhh, but that's too simple..." Hisoka added chuckling. He grasped Killua by the wrist as the boy threw another punch. My heart stopped. "I wouldn't want to _bore_ you."

Killua growled and punched with his other hand, aiming at his chest. Hisoka moved out of the way, pulling Killua's arm up behind him. It should have hurt like a bitch, but Killua only glared. Hisoka smirked as he leaned down over the boy's tiny frame, a snake coiled around a small animal. It was disturbing but I was rooted to the spot. "If any of you pass out during my exam, you all _fail_."

Hisoka's eyes shifted pointedly to me. I swallowed hard.

He was making me the weak link. I'd already almost passed out once. I felt the pressure; it made me slightly nauseated.

"... and you know what it means if you fail, Middle-School-Chan.." He reminded coolly, shoving Killua away. I swallowed hard. _I need to stop making deals with a certain red haired devil..._

"We're gonna die, yadda, yadda. I get it!" I shouted, charging in. He grinned, smoothly settling into a fighting stance. He beckoned me forward, with a lick of his lips. It pissed me off. And made me want to run in the other direction. But I forced myself forward, sweat running down my neck.

Killua was to my left, and Gon was to my right. I remembered Killua running around to the other side of Hisoka earlier. It was a strategic move._ Good idea Killua, we've got him surrounded_

We closed in, Killua with his fist, me with Leorio's knife, and Gon with his pole. I was confident. _Hisoka can't avoid all of us!_ As I swung, he jumped in the air and I stared in shock. As Gon's lure smacked into my cheek.

_**Asdfajksl. **_

My head snapped aside and I froze. _Damn. _

"Ah, sorry!" Gon cried, running to me.

"Oi! Get it together, you could have dodged that!" Killua berated, glaring over his shoulder as he ran at Hisoka.

I was frozen in shock and embarrassment as Gon fussed over me. "Are you okay? I should have aimed better, I'm sorry!"

I shook my head and touched my cheek. "No, no, it was my fault, he's right! Let's go, Gon!"

He looked uncertain, but I touched his shoulder with a confident smile. "It stung like a bitch, but we need that kind of strength against Hisoka!"

He was uncertain for a moment but smiled with determination. "Right!"

I was grinning outwardly as we ran to join Killua, but inside I wept. _Damn it! I really should have dodged it...! _

Killua was unleashing a volley of attacks; he leapt into the air, swinging tightly controlled punches that Hisoka easily deflected and dodged. Killua scowled, bouncing back before launching himself again. This time, he flipped onto his hands and spun his legs like a helicopter.

Gon and I came to a stop at a safe distance. _Woah, good idea. That's a wide ranged attack. _

But Hisoka proved it was a bad idea. Grabbing Killua's leg, he spun the boy, swinging him into the air and sending him flying aside. "Killua!"

I ran to catch him, but he was falling fast. _Damn it, I'm not quick enough! _

Then, as he was about to land painfully, he flipped onto his hands and feet, skidding to a safe stop. He was pissed off and indignant, but safe. I came to a stop, relieved.

"Oh good, I was worried you needed to be rescued." I said raising an eye brow. He glared at me sullenly.

"I'd never need rescuing by _you_." He muttered.

"Hey, what does that mean?!" I said indignantly. To the side, I heard an unsettling noise. Hisoka moaned softly as he dodged Gon's swings. I grit my teeth, glaring over at the two of them fighting. The sight of Hisoka enjoying himself upset my stomach.

"Hey, Killua. If you care about him, you need to get that guy away from Hisoka." I warned quietly. Killua made a thoughtful noise, moving to stand beside me.

"Hm... you're right. He's really strong..."

I cringed at that. "Uhh... yeah, and _other_ reasons."

Hisoka let out a noise of delight as Gon made a clever attack; kicking up dirt and attacking Hisoka through the cover it provided. But quicker than Gon could land a hit, Hisoka had him by the throat. I cursed and started running at them. _Damn it, at this rate, Hisoka's going to get so excited he.. UGH! _

I _really_ didn't want to think about what would happen if Hisoka got_ excited_.

"Hey, didn't you say he was a pedophile..?!" I heard Killua shout behind me. I felt guilty.

"Uhh, more fighting, less chatting!"

As I approached, Hisoka threw Gon back onto his feet. The boy in green clutched his throat and glared, jumping a safe distance away.

"Mmm, not bad..." The perverted magician purred, grinning. He slid into his fighting stance and beckoned with his fingers. "... show me more."

My heart throbbed painfully._ No..._

I knew what was happening. It was a nightmare turned reality. For a second time. And just like before, I was helpless to stop it.

I clenched my fist around the knife. _No... not yet... I can still stop this! If I move quickly, I can stop this!_

"Leave him alone!" I shouted, charging at Hisoka. I didn't have a plan, only anger, a knife and the need to distract him. Hisoka glanced at me with a frown as I closed in on him. And like a latex balloon, he batted me away; my head snapped back sharply on the impact.

_He hadn't attacked before... only deflected and dodged.._

I couldn't move; I felt myself fall. But strangely there was no impact. My muddled head couldn't figure out why.

My head pounded and spun dizzyingly like it was in a dryer on tumble dry. I groaned. As I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was Gon, swinging his fishing rod at Hisoka, and the jester dodging with glee. The second thing I saw, was Killua. He was holding me by my shoulders from behind, glaring in concern. As I focused, his lips turned up ruefully. I frowned.

"Ohhh, not dead yet? I was worried you were done for; that looked like it hurt." He smirked, helping me up. I scowled and shook my head to clear it. _He must have caught me when I fell... damn it, I look pathetic...! _"If you passed out, I was going to beat you until you woke up."

"Hmph. Not even close, Fluffy." I grunted as I rose. I'd lost Leorio's knife somewhere in the fall but didn't feel like looking for it. Irubbed the stars from my eyes and settled into a fighting stance as I watched Gon chase Hisoka. "I won't be going down anytime soon; you haven't seen anything yet!"

"Right." He scoffed, unimpressed.

I charged at Hisoka with a shout, Killua was right beside me. The man was deeply engrossed in his fight with Gon, grinning at the angry boy. When he glanced at me, it was in irritation. I grit my teeth. _You can't ignore me! I'm going to stop you this time!_

And then his fist was in my stomach. And my feet left the ground. I felt my eyes go wide, and the world got blurry. I felt his breath on my ear.

"You're getting in the way..." The magician muttered. He twisted his fist in my stomach and I coughed up blood. "... of my fun."

Dimly I heard Killua shout something. And then the wind was at my back, and everything was black and numb. Everything but my stomach. My stomach was pulverized agony.

_Damn it... why can't I do this...? Is there nothing I can do...? I want to save him..._ _I don't know Gon well, but I know what type of person he is. Happy, naive... innocent... just like you used to be... _

I felt myself fall, and slide across the ground. This time my back took the blow, and when I came to a stop, I laid there trying not to move. It hurt _so_ much just to breathe. I wasn't sure how long I laid there and I didn't hear him approach. But I felt his shadow cover me. I opened my eyes slowly. For a moment everything was blurry. When he came into focus, his expression was devoid of emotion.

"He's right, you know." Killua said. For a moment I was shocked.

"W-what?!"

"You're in the way. And you're not helping"

I clenched my fists in the dirt. "_Killua!_"

"Your punches are pathetic, your form is sloppy, and your reactions are slow. That's why he can knock you away so easily. And why you got hit by Gon's attack. You're out classed."

It stung. _So much_. To hear it voiced out loud. Even if I knew it deep down inside... I didn't want to hear it. Not from _him!_

"Stay out of the fight, Clearian." He said, turning and walking away. "Or you're going to get us all killed."

I laid there numbly. Watching the gray, featureless sky. Counting my heartbeats.

… _they're right... physically, I'm no match... even with Nen, I can't keep up with them._.. I felt my eyes water. _I'm a pathetic fighter._

….. _but. __**I **__have something they __**don't**_ _have. _

Gingerly, I raised myself onto my elbows, trembling with the effort of straining my stomach. Rolling my weight to my left elbow, I used my right hand to snap apart the buttons of my jacket.

_It's probably a mistake to use this here. This isn't its intended purpose. _

_My Hatsu isn't meant for battle. _

But what options did I have? Laying there helplessly _wasn't_ an option.

_I'll show you who's out classed..._

With difficulty, I rolled onto my stomach. Like that, I couldn't see the fight, but they couldn't see what I was doing either. I pulled a pen from an inner pocket of my jacket, and from my shirt, I drew my prized possession. My journal.

_If Hisoka catches me before I can finish this, he will murder me... _I cringed, holding the book open with my left hand and holding the pen in my right. With my teeth I removed the cap of the pen and put the tip to paper. _I have to hide this from him..._

I had to use the Nen principal _In_. It would conceal my aura from him while I used it. But it was a higher form of _Zetsu_, and seeing how I was complete _garbage_ at _Zetsu_, I was going to have a rough time. _But damn it, I have to try!_

Closing my eyes, I focused on my aura. It was like I could feel my soul. And right then, it was weak and fluttering about, like plastic full of holes in a wind. Taking a breath, I gripped my aura with my mind; it stilled accordingly. And carefully, I pulled it inwards, compacting it against my skin. The trick was in reigning it inwards, but not extinguishing it all together; it was like making a thin shell out of my soul. And mine felt brittle.

But still, it was _In _nonetheless!

I opened my eyes, and touched pen to paper. And wrote because my life depended on it.

_**A Book of Lies. **_

The words I wrote were in my own language of squiggles and curls; no one else would be able to read it. But as my pen flew, vivid images formed in my head. And they weren't pretty.

… _**All was fire. I fell to my knees and the agony consumed my sanity. Every inch of me was blazing, burning fire and the will to survive...**_

I never expected to be in this predicament.

I just wanted to pass this stupid exam, avoid all the craziness of the Hunter world, and live happily with my best friend. I never wanted to see him again.

Hisoka. The Magician.

It was his fault that all of this happened, that my friend was in a coma, that I was taking this exam, that I was fighting him in the first place. He was my worst nightmare. A killer. That preyed on the innocence of the people I cared for.

From the moment I saw him with my friend... I never wanted to see him again. I never wanted to think of him again. And yet here I was.

Probably going to be killed by him.

I winced as my aura bucked against my tight grip on it. Sweat rolled down my neck. It was like trying to hold an enraged bull on a leash; trying not let it go, but not pull too hard either.

If I let it go, then my aura would alert Hisoka. He'd gladly he'd end my life. But on the other hand, if I pulled back my aura too hard and didn't give it enough juice, my Hatsu would fail altogether. I didn't have the energy for another go.

My brow was pinched so hard it hurt. I was gripping my pen so hard its plastic creaked against my fingers. _**… fled my body and I laid there weak and helpless, I would rather... **_

For an instant, my concentration broke, and from between the cracks in my mind, my aura slipped out, springing rebelliously to life. _Damn it._

I tried desperately to piece back together, but in the corner of my eye, Hisoka's head snapped in my direction. Gon's fishing pole came down on his shoulder in his moment of distraction, but Hisoka didn't care.

His switch was flipped. Like a hungry predator smelling blood in the water. A card slid into his fingers like fangs on a cobra.

_Damn it! _I was so close to finishing! **.**_**.. be burnt alive one hundred times...**_

My heart throbbed in panic as he threw the card at me. _I can't move! _

But Gon leapt in front of it, knocking it down with his fishing pole. Absently, Hisoka kicked him aside.

Panic gripped my chest and my hand wobbled so badly I could barely read the words _**… than be put through... **_He turned towards me. And_ ran_._ I don't have enough time!_ In a white blur, Killua dashed between us. But as soon as he appeared, Hisoka batted him away. And not kindly. I scrawled frantically. _**… the hell of ever thinking... **_Gon raised his fishing pole over his head with a roar and brought it down on Hisoka's skull, but it might as well have been a wet noodle. Hisoka was unphased. _I can't stop now!_ A tidal wave of aura. A fifty foot wall of sweeping death was coming to claim my life. To blow it out like a candle in a hurricane. I didn't have time to finish, but I had to try! _**… of hurting a child ever agai-**_

I should have ran.

I could have taken the exam next year.

Then I wouldn't be killed like this.

By a literal clown.

Maybe this has all been some terrible joke.

I wish it had been.

Hisoka had his hand around my neck. My feet dangled and my Hatsu crumbled around me and the pen fell from my fingers. Like shattered glass, the scene faded from my mind and my words on their page lost their magic. I was numb. Numb to everything but him. His tight, manic smile. His hot fingers strangling me. Beneath his wavering restraint I could smell it. The wild desire to rip me apart and bathe in my warm blood. To make me scream and break my bones. It smelled like sweet, sweet ambrosia.

Vividly, I heard him breathe. Felt him shiver and saw him lick his lips. Cold sunk into my bones as he whispered, trembling with excitement yet and dark and soft as velvet. "_Ahhh._.. that_ Hatsu _of yours... I_ really_ do detest it...if you use that..." He tightened his grip and groaned."I _really_ can't control myself..."

Dimly, I heard Gon's battle cry as he swung at Hisoka again, but this time he didn't ignore him. He was too aroused. I'd awoken the monster in him.

My plan had failed and there was nothing any of us could do now.

Hisoka's freehand whipped out and snatched Gon by his little throat. The fishing rod fell from his hands. I closed my eyes. I couldn't bear to watch. _… I'm sorry Gon..._ I couldn't breathe. My throat was fire. I felt my body raise higher in the air. _… I really tried to save you... _

Through the black fog of surrender I heard his enraptured moan._"Mmm..._ look at you_... _so fresh... so..._ mouth watering_..."

_.. I tried... I'm sorry Clear._

I just wanted to sleep... let the sweet darkness take me... and gently drift away...


	10. Sunshine

Heya! I'm posting this one a little early, because why not?

This was originally going to be a short chapter, but since my last one was so late, I tacked the last part on. It was going to be a part of the next chapter, but hey. These two flowed so well together!

Beware: I'm a corny loser, and my symbolism is heavy handed.

* * *

The sun was out, and the light felt good on my face. There was a little bird chirping and I floated on a cloud. It seemed for once, everything felt right.

But wait.

No it didn't.

My abdomen was agony, my throat ached like I'd drank ten liters of acid and my head was pounding. I wanted to die.

I opened my eyes. The sky was cloudy and gray. The only sunshine came from a little boy in green and orange. He leaned close and concern poured from his big brown eyes. It was his voice that chirped in my ear, and he was relieved to see me awake. Even if I wasn't too enthused about it.

"Clearian, you're awake!" He gushed. He was leaning over me, and I sat against a tree. My reeling head decided he must have moved me. But why was I so tired? Why did I hurt so badly?

"Hisoka-" Gon said. And my eyes went wide.

Red hair, creepy smile, bulging muscles; he had strangled me.

I remembered. And wished I hadn't. My stomach churned and I covered my mouth. _I should be dead..._

Gon put his hand on my forehead, pushing my hair out of the way. Only then did I realize that Gon was still talking. I pushed aside the nausea and unsettling memories and listened to him.

"Eh? Clearian? Are you okay? You look sick...!" He said, and if I hadn't been so out of it I would have freaked out when he leaned his forehead on mine. Instead I sat there numbly as he closed his eyes, comparing my skin's warmth against his. He smelled like nature; like warm forest air, like a sunny day. It was nice. He pulled back, frowning. "You don't feel sick..."

I gingerly shook my head and tried to draw on my Nen, but it was cold and unresponsive. Then I remembered my failed _Hatsu_ and frowned. _Looks like I won't have any more help from my aura... you got your wish, Hisoka._

"... I'm fine." I cleared my throat and winced. I looked around slowly, trying not to strain my neck. Then, suddenly I jumped up. Gon held me down, and my aching neck instantly regretted it. I leaned back, flinching. "Where is Hisoka!? And where are Leorio and Kurapika?"

My heart sped in panic, but Gon looked relieved for a moment. Then he launched into his story, flailing his arms excitedly as he told me what happened. I held up my hands, trying to shield myself from his energy with a weak smile.

"Killua attacked Hisoka from behind, so Hisoka dropped us to punch him! He hit him so hard that he went flying and passed out...! Then Hisoka said _I went too far_, or something. Then he picked up Leorio and Kurapika and said we passed, and he'd see us at the finish line!"

My head spun in circles. He was talking too quickly, but I tried to grasp what he was saying. "Wait, wait, Killua passed out..? Then why are we still... didn't we fail his exam?"

"Nope! Heheh..." Gon stuck out his tongue, scratching the back of his head bashfully. "I hit Hisoka when you distracted him. Twice!"

As he mentioned it, the memory of Gon's strike to Hisoka's head bubbled to the surface. He'd hit him before Killua and I had passed out, saving us._.. thanks, Gon..._

"Oh yeah..." It chilled me to remember what had happened just minutes before. _Hisoka had been so intent on killing me that he let himself get hit... he must __**really**__ hate me..._

"So..." Gon began, pulling me from my thoughts. "... why did Hisoka attack you like that? He seemed pretty freaky... I mean, he was _always_ freaky! But... why so suddenly...?"

I thought about that as he trailed off, my brow pinched together. I couldn't tell him about Nen. More importantly, couldn't I tell him my greatest secret. So I just shook my head.

"... I'm not sure..." I lied.

"Hmmm..." Gon said unconvinced. I refused to meet his innocent stare. "Well, we'd better get going! We have to carry Killua!"

"We what?"

"Yeah, he got hit pretty hard, but he _should_ be fine. I'm just glad I didn't have to carry _you_ too...!" Gon laughed innocently. I followed his stare to my right; Killua was leaned against the same tree as me. I'd only known him for a few days, but I'd never seen him sleep. He seemed so much nicer when he wasn't glaring, scowling or ruining my life.

"Well, I'm not sure if I'm in any condition to carry him..." I murmured, clearing my throat again. I didn't relish the thought of moving at all, let alone running through the forest with a boy on my back.

"Oh, I can do that if you carry my back pack!" Gon removed his bag, handed it to me and moved to squat in front of Killua. After putting my arms through the bag's straps, I helped him pull Killua's limp legs and arms around him. Gon hunched over and I pushed Killua's torso to lean on his back. "Heeeave ho! Ready to go!"

Gon rose as easily as if he wasn't carrying his weight in sleeping kid on his back. I was tired just watching him. I used the tree to help me stand. Luckily my legs were fine. It was just my head, my stomach and my throat that hurt. As we jogged through the misty field, I found Leorio's suitcase and his dagger. I put the dagger in my jacket pocket and hung the brief case over my shoulder as we ran.

Once we entered the forest, it was easy to see where we were supposed to go; the path was lined with dead things and cuts in the wood, left by Hisoka. I lost myself in my thoughts.

_This is a disaster... I was nearly useless.. I thought that if I knew Nen, I'd be able to do anything...! But obviously, that wasn't the case... all **I** could do was serve as a **distraction**. _

Beside me, Gon was staring resolutely ahead of him, obviously thinking deeply as well. I envied him.

_This kid... he's at least a year younger than me... yet he's a better fighter... and that was probably his first real fight...!_

Suddenly, Gon returned my stare and smiled. I stared wide at being caught, then gave an apologetic smile.

"So, Clearian-San... what's your _relationship_ with that guy?" Gon asked awkwardly. I stared even more.

"Huh?"

Gon fluttered. "Uh, you know! That crazy clown guy!"

"O-oh... _him_..." I put dark emphasis on the word. I wasn't sure what to say. How many times would I have to tell this stupid story? "Hisoka."

Gon visibly tensed at the name. And I felt sorry for him. _This poor boy... that crazy jester set his sights on him... it's only a matter of time, now..._

I shook the thought from my head. "He um... he was my friend's... _Sensei_, I guess?"

Gon stared at me then. "Huh?! _That _guy?!"

I smiled bitterly. "Yeah.. obviously not a very good influence. But my friend... my friend wanted to get stronger. Because I kept getting into trouble. They wanted to protect me. And who's a better fighter than Hisoka? So... my friend did some pretty crazy things to get stronger..."

"Hmm... I guess I understand that... people get pretty crazy when they have something to protect!" He said brightly. But it didn't make me feel any better.

"Yeah... that was pretty insane, right..?"

"Like Killua, he must really care for you! He went crazy!" Gon laughed. I wheeled an incredulous look at him.

"Huuuuh?! That guy care for me?! No way! He treats me like the plague!" I said stoutly with a derisive laugh. "He's done nothing but cause me problems!"

Gon didn't seem convinced. "Huh? Of course he cares for you... didn't you see how hard he was fighting? For a second I thought he was going to beat that crazy clown guy all on his own! It was pretty amazing..."

I pouted at that. "... well... if you fight Hisoka, you HAVE to fight your hardest... I don't really think it has to do with me..."

My heart squeezed painfully remembering his cutting words_... you're in the way.._

"I don't think that it'." Gone said confidently. I looked at him sullenly. "Killua's a pretty cool guy and he never gets upset! But just when we'd gotten to the finish line, he started acting weird! It was like he sensed you were in trouble... so he started running back _really fast_, I could barely keep up! We'd almost passed the exam, but he wanted to go back! And his face was like this!" Gon made a big scowl.

_Hm... maybe he sensed our auras... but from that far away...?_

"... his face is always like that." I muttered, looking away.

Gon laughed weakly. "Hehe... not_ all_ the time..!"

"Hmph. Only most of it..." I said sullenly. Then I sighed, looking at the happy boy tenderly. "... anyhow, thank you for saving me... I know you were doing it for Kurapika and Leorio, too but... I really appreciate it..."

"Hehe, don't thank me, it was just a natural reaction..." Gon laughed bashfully. I smiled sadly. _Not for me... I just stood there... wanting to run away..._

"So what have you two been up to..? Did that brat tell you why he's been avoiding me..?" I muttered sourly.

"Hmmm... not exactly... He just says you're some annoying guy who won't leave him alone and kept changing the subject... how did you two meet, anyhow? You two act funny..."

I scowled. "Well.. it all goes back to that stupid clown... he's the one who led us to the exam. So in exchange for the info, we both have to play by _his_ rules. So if one of us fails, then..."

The sudden memory of Hisoka's face creepily up at me, his hand around my neck consumed my thoughts. My chest tightened painfully.

"... then what?" Gon asked, sounding distant. I shook my head, clearing the fog.

"Then he's going to kill us."

We were silent. There was nothing but the sound of footsteps and the rustle of leaves in the wind.

"... that guy..." Gon was suddenly very serious. There was more silence.

_Damn him... that stupid clown... how dare he play with us so casually._.. I looked at Gon's tense expression and frowned..._. he soils everything he touches._

"... would it be weird to say... that I was excited?"

His words cut like a knife in my heart. I stared. He looked down as he ran, like he was embarrassed.

"... I... I was really scared... I've never met someone that strong! I grew up on a little island, so I don't have much experience with fighting... but I know he's _super _strong... part of me wanted to run away... but another part of me was thrilled!"

"... thrilled?" _… you should be terrified... _

"I really wanted to fight him!" Gon said smiling his hopelessly, blissfully innocent smile. My heart melted then. _Why do all the cute ones get wrapped up in his web...? I guess opposites attract... I got him into this... I have to protect him._

"Heh... you're a good kid, Gon... a little crazy, but you're good..." I laughed, patting his shoulder. _Just like my friend._.. "I think we'll be great friends!"

"Yeah! Then we can all play games; you, me and Killua!" He cheered. I gave him a look.

"Huuuuh? No wayyyy, leave that guy out of it! I still don't forgive him for abandoning me!"

"Whaaat, I thought you were chasing him, why don't you want him?"

"Hmph. If it's for business like the Hunter Exam, then yeah, we should work together. But if it's for play, then keep him away from me!"

"Ehhhh, you two are strange, Clearian..."

Gon's voice was bright and childish when he sang.

"Rain, rain, go away, come again, another day. _Clea-rian_, wants to play, so rain, rain, go away."

"Haha, you put my name in!" I laughed.

We'd been running for a while when it began to rain lightly. A light drizzle pattered on the tree leaves above us. The dark clouds had finally decided to release their water, but only a few drops made it to our heads as we ran. Through the bouncing, the rain and the singing, Killua still slept, his face tucked into Gon's neck.

"Of course!" Gon said. "The normal song says _Daddy_ instead... but mine wasn't around. So my aunt would always put my name, in his place..."

"Oh..." I said quietly.

We were quiet for a while after that, listening to the rain and its rhythmless beat. After a while I forced myself to speak.

"I'm an orphan. So didn't have a family to sing me songs... But I had a friend. And they liked to be sang to; if someone didn't sing for them, they couldn't sleep!" I smiled bitterly at the memory. "So when we went to school and stayed in dorms, I sang for them."

"Wooah.. that was nice of you!" Gon said. "It's good to have friends when you're in strange new places."

"Heh, I guess. But I always sang the same song. It kind of had to do with rain, too."

"Well, my rain song didn't work very well..." He said up at the dripping canopy, embarrassed. "Maybe if you sang it, the rain would go away!"

I laughed. "I don't think it works that way, but we can try!"

I took a moment to feel the beat of the song, taking deep breaths to ready my lungs. When I finally opened my mouth, my voice was quiet. I could barely hear myself over the rain around us.

"... you are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you... please don't taaake my sunshine awaaaay."

I frowned as I finished, wiping a rain drop off my cheek, but Gon made a pleased noise.

"Uwaaaah... you sing well, Clearian..!" He said dreamily. "I see how your friend got to sleep every night..!"

I gave a weak smile. "Yeah... I guess..."

Then there was a small groan, and Gon stopped running. Killua was stirring.

"Killua!" He exclaimed, kneeling. Killua scowled and rubbed his eyes.

"... I disagree..." He muttered blearily, then glared up at me. "I don't see how anyone could sleep through that racket."

I glared and Gon laughed nervously. "Killua... be nice..."

"Well look who's finally awake." I snapped as Killua and Gon got to their feet. "And I thought you said_** I**_ was the one who was_ weak_."

Killua bared his teeth. "Hey! I'm not the one who got caught and strangled!"

"There, there, you two..." Gon said, standing between us and holding up his hands. "... you really shouldn't fight..."

His pleas went ignored. I still hadn't chewed this guy out for abandoning me, and he was _really_ _asking_ for it.

"Excuse me!? At least I didn't have to be carried by Gon for an hour while I took a nap!" I shouted. I felt heat rising in my chest and up my neck. "I guess that's your style, though; inconveniencing others!"

"_Me?!_ I'm not the one who needed to be rescued!" He took an aggressive step forward. I mirrored it, clenching my fists.

"Well maybe I wouldn't need rescuing if you weren't an _idiot_!"

"_I'm_ the idiot!?"

"YEAH, _YOU'RE THE IDIOT_! If you didn't keep _leaving_ me, Hisoka wouldn't keep trying to_ kill_ me!"

"Well it's not MY fault I don't want to be around some _WEAK IDIOT_!"

"I'LL SHOW YOU WHO'S WEAK!"

We lunged for each other. Fully intent on beating each others faces in. But Gon intervened.

"ENOUGH!" Gon shouted. Jumping up, he punched both of us on the top of our heads. We fell in a heap.

"Ooouch, Gon..!" I complained, rubbing my head.

"Ack... my head still hurts..." Killua muttered, but Gon didn't care. He planted his feet on the ground and his hands on his hips.

"That's enough you two! You're BOTH being stupid!" He scolded. Killua and I shrank away guiltily. "We have enough problems without you two trying to _kill_ one another! So you two are going to _behave_, be _nice_, and work_ together_ to pass this exam!"

I pouted, looking away. "... it's _his_ fault..."

"No, it's **both** of your faults!" Gon shouted. I recoiled when he pointed at me. "Clearian! You're being bossy and controlling; no one wants to listen if you're not nice!"

Killua snickered then stopped when Gon wheeled on him. "Killua! You're being unreasonable! Working together is the best way to pass this exam, and Clearian keeps getting in trouble with Hisoka because you keep leaving him! It doesn't make sense to keep running away from him!"

Gon huffed and put his hands back on his hips. "So you two need to stop blaming each other, apologize and just be_ friends_ already!"

I couldn't meet his gaze, hunched over like an ashamed puppy with my tail between my legs. I was sure Killua was in a similar state.

"WELL? Apologize!" Gon demanded, pushing us together. I held up my hands in alarm, trying to keep some personal space. Killua stared with round eyes and a scowl for a moment, before looking away with a pout.

"Uhhh..."I started, scratching my cheek. "I'm... sorry for being so bossy... I just didn't want Hisoka to get mad at me..."

When I glanced at him, he refused to meet my eyes. "Yeah... I just... don't like being told what to do... sorry. We really should work together..."

"Now shake!" Gon said firmly. I scowled, but held out my hand. Killua reluctantly took it. I gave him an apologetic smile which he mirrored. Gon put his hand on top of ours with a grin. "There! Now we're all friends!"

I gave Gon a startled look. But his smile was so bright, I couldn't help but share it.

"Sure, sure... and we'll live happily ever after." I said with a roll of my eyes, but Gon nodded.

"As Hunters!"

"Yeah, yeah, can we get going, now?" Killua said petulantly, taking his hand back and shoving it in his pocket. Gon and I nodded, suddenly serious. "We probably don't have much time before the first exam is over..."

"Yeah, we wasted a pretty good amount of time here..." I said critically, holding my chin.

"Let's race then! To the finish!" Gon said, eyes gleaming excitedly. I grinned.

"Sure."

"It's on."

I hadn't noticed, but the rain had stopped falling.


	11. Friends or Foes

Heyyy, another early chapter! And this one's a doozie... the longest so far, and full of time skips forwards and backwards.. hopefully it's not too hard to follow..! If it is, drop a review and if the response is overwhelming, I might revise it..

Speaking of reviews, thank you to **Kri** and **Yinyang555** for the reviews! I can't reply to you in a PM [ I usually do to anyone who reviews ], but I really do appreciate the reviews, they brighten my day...!

* * *

A competition to commemorate our new friendship was a bad idea. If there was anything Killua loved more than chocolate, it was definitely winning. And if there was anything I hated more than perverted clowns, it was _definitely_ losing. A race was bound to end in murder.

Gon had already vanished far ahead of us. His energy astounded me, but seeing how he was the only one who hadn't passed out today, it wasn't too surprising. Still. It pushed me forward and when the crowd of finished applicants came into sight, our efforts doubled. And we grew desperate.

"LET GO, you brat!" I shouted as he tugged at the back of my jacket. He scowled as we ran.

"Stop trying to _trip_ me, loser!" He yelled, dragging me back. I staggered and growled.

"If you're gonna play that way I'm REALLY going to trip you!" I snapped, putting my foot in front of his and shoving on his shoulder. He pitched forward, letting go of my jacket. I grinned triumphantly, but his hands easily caught his fall and he sprung back onto his feet. He landed several feet ahead of me; the energy of my push had propelled him forward. I gaped in disbelief.

"Hah!" He laughed, flashing me a grin and a cheeky peace sign. I scowled as he stuck out his tongue. "Thanks for the boost, loser! See you at the finish line!"

I glared with all my heart, pushing my legs to run even _faster_, but it was no use. He was only a dozen feet ahead of me, but it was an insurmountable gap. We were too evenly matched.

_Hah... as if. _

"I'm not done yet, Fuffy!" I grinned, pulling out my pen. He eyed me over his shoulder. "You can't beat me _that_ easily!"

Then I pulled out my journal and Fluffy seemed to realize the gravity of my words. As soon as he saw it, he spun around, skidding across the dirt to a stop; his hands coiled tight and ready for a fight. I smirked.

_That's right. You have no idea what I'm capable of, Killua..._

I scribbled quickly on the page as I sprinted at him. He crouched in anticipation, ready to dodge or strike, as I raised my pen above my head with a battle cry, his hands seemed to take the form of talons, and I grinned in victory. And then I ran right past him.

"Aaaahahahaha! Eat my DUST, loser!" I cackled, crumpling up the page from my journal and throwing it at over my shoulder as I ran. On that page, I'd written 'You stink'. My heart leapt with joy as I bounded for the finish line. But as the crowd came closer and closer, I heard an enraged cry. But it wasn't just any shout of frustration. It promised blood shed.

I hesitated to look over my shoulder, but knew that even if I didn't, my fate would be the same. The shadow of a demon swallowed me.

He tackled me to the ground and we fell in a tumbling, shouting mess. I yanked at his hair and he held down my shoulders.

"GET OFF OF ME YOU BASTARD!"

"YOU THINK I'D LET YOU WIN LIKE _THAT_?!"

"GAAAAAH, SOMEONE _HELP_ ME!"

"YOU DON'T _DESERVE_ HELP!"

A familiar voice made us freeze. "Killua! Clearian!"

I stopped shoving his face, and his hands stopped squeezing my neck as Gon ran towards us. His smile faded and he slowed his pace as he approached. "Uhh... what are you two doing?"

"Nothing, nothing!" I laughed nervously, patting Killua's cheek. "I was just making sure Hisoka's punch didn't break Killua's face..! Hahaha!"

"Yeah, yeah, and I was massaging Clearian's neck!" Killua nodded enthusiastically, rubbing my throat for emphasis. "He was saying it hurt, hahahaha!"

Gon frowned uncertainly as Killua squeezed too hard and we shared a brief glare.

"Well... as long as you two weren't_ fighting_ it's fine... you two are friends now, remember?" Gon reminded sternly. Killua and I nodded energetically, chatting stupidly as we helped each other stand up.

"Right, right!" "Of course, Gon! Why would we fight?" "Yeah, friends don't fight for _real_ that's just silly!"

"Well, alright... then we better hurry! The exam is ending soon!"

"Right behind you, buddy!"

Gon led us to a tree where he'd been waiting for us, and under it slept Kurapika and Leorio. They still hadn't awoken and I was slightly startled to see them sleeping. I crouched beside them and tilted my head as Leorio twitched in his slumber. _They look happier asleep.. I wonder what they're dreaming about...? _

"So what happened before we got to you, Clearian?" Killua asked, arms crossed. Gon looked curious as well, resting his back against the tree and folding his arms behind him. I frowned, remembering the unsettling incident without relish. I shook the upsetting thoughts from my head.

"Uhh.. I'll tell you when these two wake up. Then we can all get filled in on what happened..." I said quietly, looking at their sleeping faces. Then, an idea crept into my head and I grinned an evil little grin. "Until then..."

I cackled quietly to myself as I lifted Kurapika's legs, draping them over Leorio's.

"... you're a real pervert, aren't you, Clearian.." Killua muttered.

I snickered quietly. "I'm the captain of this ship..."

Gon made a confused noise. "... what does that mean, Clearian?"

Killua sighed, putting a hand on Gon's shoulder and pulling him away. "Don't worry about it, Gon. You don't want to get into this warped guy's head."

"R-right..." Gon laughed weakly, forcing a smile as I rose triumphantly. Hands on my hips, I admired my work.

It took several minutes for them to stir.

When Leorio woke up, it was slowly and with difficulty. The world must have spun as if he'd drank too much booze the night before. Then, as his senses came to him, he realized there was a warm weight in his lap. And when he looked down, and a blonde was asleep in his arms.

His alarm was priceless. It warmed my heart.

"WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?"

"Magic." I grinned, feeling supreme satisfaction. Floating on a cloud, I had not a care in the world. "My ship has sailed..."

Then Kurapika woke up at all the noise, alarmed and fumbling, he tried to grasp his surroundings. "W-what?" Looking up, he saw Leorio staring at him with a grimace. And then Kurapika slapped him. "Unhand me, Leorio!"

"Hey, why did you hit me?! I'm innocent here!" He cried, holding his cheek as he shoved Kurapika away.

"Innocent?! Yeah right, you pervert..!" He sneered, holding his arms close to himself.

Gon and Killua came back then and Gon laughed nervously. "Hehe... calm down, guys.. Clearian was just playing a prank on you..."

"Gon, you traitor!" I gasped, betrayed.

"Clearian!" Leorio and Kurapika shouted, turning their anger on me. I jumped back, turning to run, but they sprang up and tackled me to the ground.

"Ugh! It's pay back for smelling me earlier!" I wailed. "Get _off_ of meeee, I'm sooore!"

They grumbled but relented in their strangling grip. Kurapika stretched his arm painfully. "Come to think of it, I am, too..."

"Yeah, why does my head hurt so much...?" Leorio whined stupidly. I crossed my arms.

"I can't believe you don't remember..." I muttered sourly. "... I wish_ I_ didn't..."

"Hmm..." Gon said thoughtfully, plopping down next to us under the shade of the tree while Killua reclined coolly against the wood. "Clearian, you know what happened the most, don't you? Why don't you explain it to all of us?"

"Ehhhhh, but I'm no good at telling stories..." I complained. But under Gon's imploring stare, I couldn't resist. I sighed. "Fiiiine... I guess I _have_ to... But you have to tell the parts that I don't know, okay Gon?"

He bobbed his head. "Right!"

* * *

The second exam was fun. Sliding down hills and hunting pigs was more fun than it ought to have been; Leorio, Killua and I all argued that our boars were bigger. But when Killua and I _both_ burned our pigs, we started panicking. Obviously, the Gourmet Hunter Menchi disapproved of our dishes. When she did, I got monumentally pissed off. Infuriated, I slammed my hand on her table as she looked down on me snootily.

"Hey, we _got_ the pigs didn't we?! That's the _hunting _part! _Cooking_ isn't a part of being a hunter, we shouldn't be disqualified for this!"

"_Wrong! _I'm the Professional Hunter here, I decide who passes and who doesn't, and you _all_ fail!"

Just as I was about to leap over the table and punch her in the face, an amazingly strong hand held me back. I froze and stared over my shoulder, gawking when I saw who it was. It was an old man. And judging his grip, I decided that he easily had the power to break a mountain. He smiled at me easily.

"Now, now, Menchi. This one speaks some truth." The old man said sounding more energetic than an old man should. I shrunk under his scrutiny, backing away to join Gon as he pulled me away. "Is it _really_ fair to judge them based on this?"

Then Menchi's hard exterior crumbled immediately and she apologized. It made me uncomfortable for her to cave so quickly. But when she explained that an examinee had stung her pride, I understood.

_It must be really upsetting for someone to laugh at your profession... for someone to laugh at the thing you care about the most in the world... _

The next exam was at a different location after a ride in Netero's enormous blimp. When we arrived at the Second part of the Second Phase, it was on top of a strange mountain. Mount Split-In-Half was aptly named for the clean, straight, fifty-foot gap down its center. The wind whipped my hair as I stared into the deep, deep gash in the mountain. It went down impossibly far...

Our task was to gather Spider Eagle Eggs from the webs that were woven across the fifty-foot gap. Menchi accomplished the task with ease, leaping off the edge of the cliff and latching onto one of the thick ropes of webbing. She waited there, over the seemingly endless drop, with careless abandon. And after a minute or two, she let go, grabbing an egg as she fell. I stared, leaning over the edge with wonder, watching her plummet. Then, as a great gust came from the bottom of the canyon, she sailed with it, rising back up safely with the egg in hand.

I stared, amazed. Then, as I turned to look back at the canyon, the rock crumbled beneath my foot, and I slipped.

And cold crept into my chest. I reached for Kurapika's hand, and I saw Killua turning, his eyes wide, but suddenly both of them were gone, and I was falling. I froze up.

It was like all of those terrible nightmares, where you feel like you're falling, but worse. A terrible pain gripped my chest, and I tried to turn, to grab onto the web, but I wasn't ready to catch my weight, and I couldn't see the web coming, so my hand slipped, and I turned to face the ground as it rushed up at me, and my heart hurt in my chest, and I couldn't even scream.

* * *

A sudden noise startled me.

"You're soooooo BORING!" Leorio shouted. I stopped writing in my journal to scowl up at him.

It was night, and we were on the blimp, headed for the third exam. Kurapika, Leorio and I had chosen to stay in the same room and everyone was settling into their beds for the night. Kurapika had taken books from his bag and had been reading them, while I'd opted to write the day's events in my journal. It had been nice and quiet, and I hadn't had to talk to anyone, which I appreciated. That didn't seem an option anymore.

"Why are you two so _into_ books?! Don't you want to do something, like play cards or something FUN?" Leorio ranted. He'd been sitting quietly, sharpening his knife for a while, so his sudden outburst made me jump. The word I'd been writing trailed off in an alarmed squiggle. I scowled at my ruined work before glaring up at him.

"You know, I'm sure _Hisoka_ would _love_ to play cards with you, Leorio." I said sharply, waving my pen lazily. "Why don't you ask _him_?"

He froze, grimacing and visibly paling at the thought. I grinned in satisfaction.

"Uh... I think I'll pass."

Kurapika chuckled and lifted a book. "Why don't you try reading too, Leorio?"

The older man scowled and grumbled. I raised a brow at him. "You _do _know how to read, right _doctor Leorio_?"

"Of _course_ I can read!" Leorio said stoutly, snatching the book from Kurapika's hand. He yanked open the book, and raked his eyes fiercely across the page. Then he paused. And re-read a part. And reread it again. I snickered at his mounting frustration.

"_Woooow_, I'm impressed, Leorio. That's not an easy book." Kurapika said in a deadpan voice, regarding him aloofly. "And for you to begin reading _Simulacra and Simulation_ from the middle is _quite_ the feat."

"AAAAH, this makes NO SENSE!" He cried, flopping onto his back, holding the book above him. I rolled my eyes at the outburst. I resolutely capped my pen, sliding it into my short's pocket and tucked my book in my shirt. I'd taken my jacket off and hung it on the bed post, I decided to leave it there. _He's so noisy..._ _I'll never get anything done in here, now... _

"Let me see, what part are you struggling with?" Kurapika chuckled crawling into Leorio's bed. I rubbed my temples and rose, unnoticed.

"ALL of this! What does this even _mean_?! Is that even a WORD!?"

As I closed the door behind me, I heard Kurapika laugh quietly.

"Yes, Leorio, veracity is a word..."

The hall was blessedly quiet. It wasn't empty, as applicants were still wandering around, but there was no shouting. I stuck my hands in my pockets and set out to look for a quiet place to write. As I walked, I let my mind wander.

_I wonder where Gon and Killua are, now...? The last time I saw them, Gon went looking for Killua after he yelled at me... _Then I paused in my walking._ For that matter, where is Hisoka?_

I glanced around apprehensively. There were no creepy clowns in the immediate vicinity, in fact, only a few people sat on the neighboring benches. But that did little to soothe me.

_I'm not sure whether I want to address him about why he did what he did... or if I want to stay away from him.. he might want something in return... _I shuddered at the thought. _Regardless... I'm not going to go looking for him... _

The blimp was well lit and welcoming. And that grated against my nerves.

All I wanted was cool, calm and quiet, so I could reflect on the day in peace. Outside, the night pressed close on glass that went all the way around the massive carriage. I wandered over to the window, kneeled on a bench and placed a hand on the cool, hard glass. The sea of endless, uninterrupted black was soothing.

_The third phase of the Hunter Exam starts tomorrow... I'm nearly halfway through the exam... when this is all over, what's going to happen..? I guess I start my research on how to fix you, huh..? _

I shook my head, setting aside my thoughts. There was too much darkness going on in my head. I needed a distraction. So from my shirt, I drew my journal and laid it on the window sill. I pulled my knees under me on the bench and resumed writing, crossing out the old, half finished paragraph and re-writing it.

* * *

The ground rushed up at me, and my heart stung in shock. The wind whipped through my hair and stole the breathe from my lungs.

Then I slowly stopped falling, and suddenly I was rising back up again, as if on a bungee cord. When I bounced back up, I righted myself, and found myself pinned against a muscular chest. I slowly looked up, and a crazed clown smiled down at me. And I honestly didn't mind that he held me with one arm, that I could feel his heart beat, that his heat and smell smothered me and that we were dangling a billion feet over a crevasse.

I was alive.

And I couldn't possibly care less about the means by which that had happened. I clutched his shirt in my hands despite knowing I was too stunned to hold my weight if he let go. He shook with laughter.

"You should be careful, Middle-Schooler-Chan..." He chuckled quietly. His breath played with my hair and tickled my cheek, but I was too numb to care. Too scared to even believe that I was alive. "I'm supposed to kill you, not save you."

Then a chorus of voices called my name, first sounding distant, then quickly approaching. And with a bounce of the webbing, my friends joined us on the line in dangling above a billion feet of open air. I didn't have the heart to offer them a smile.

The rest of the exam passed in a haze, in which I was too shocked to care about how I passed. I didn't even eat the egg that I'd almost died for.

Back on the ship, the guys had gone to find a room, but I'd opted out of going with them. I was alone, staring out one of the enormous walls of window when Gon hesitantly approached me.

"... are you okay, Clearian?" He asked, a bit of egg was still stuck to his cheek. I smiled slightly at that, beckoning him closer and rubbing the food away with a finger as he winced.

"Yeah... I'm just... in shock." I said quietly. Gon frowned.

"I'm sorry we couldn't help, Clearian! We-"

An irritating voice interrupted Gon and my smile faded.

"Don't apologize to him, Gon. Clearian needs to get over it." Killua drawled loudly. Gon turned as he approached and I glared over his shoulder at the white haired boy. Killua's arms were laced behind his head and his eyes were shut. "You aren't _really_ moping about that fall, are you?"

I glared murder at him, clenching my fists when he returned the glare. "I nearly died, Killua."

"Yeah, and you nearly died a hundred _other_ times today. Did that fall _really_ bother you that much?"

"_Yes! _Because I was helpless to stop it!"

"Yeah, because you were _dumb_ enough to fall in the _first_ place! Get. Over. It."

"_What?! _It wasn't my _fault!"_

Gon had to physically hold us apart to keep us from butting heads. "_Guys! _We're friends! Stop fighting like this!"

"You _keep_ having to be rescued! And this time it was by that insane clown!" Killua shouted, deftly moving Gon aside and quickly snatching my jacket by the collar. I was furious that he would handle Gon that way but was too empty to fight him. He yanked me close. "If he hadn't _chosen_ to save you, we would _both_ be dead.

"So I don't _care_ if it wasn't your _'fault'_. I _care _about my **life**. And the fact that you keep putting it in jeopardy." He said with distaste, shoving me away. I stumbled and fell, glaring up at him hollowly. He turned, walking away with a final glower. "So you'd better get your act together. I don't have the strength to pass this exam _for_ you."

"Killua! You can't talk to Clearian that way!" Gon exclaimed, but Killua waved him away dismissively. "We're _supposed_ to be friends!"

"No we aren't. I don't need weak friends, Gon."

* * *

I stopped writing. The painful memory made me pause.

"Shouldn't you be with your friend?" A creepy voice asked.

I jumped and glared over my shoulder. I didn't hear him approach, but a tall figure stood against a nearby wall, crossing their arms. It was someone familiar, and deeply unpleasant. Hisoka's needle companion stood behind me, twitching grossly, watching me as I wrote. Glancing to the side, I realized that everyone else in the hall had vanished.

"Shouldn't _you_ be with your _boy_friend?" I sneered. His head tilted to the side with the creepy jerky movements of a wind up doll. My stomach churned.

"Do you mean Hisoka?" His voice was strange, like it was diluted and warped by a filter. He sounded extraterrestrial.

I snorted and returned to my writing. "The clown pervert himself..."

"Hisoka and I do not share an intimate relationship."

"... but I ship it." I muttered.

"You what?" He said. I rolled my eyes and put down my pen.

"Don't worry about it." I said, turning to glare at him. "What do you want, pin head? I don't have the patience to entertain you right now."

"I wanted to tell you that I'm not your enemy."

Still glaring, I pursed my lips. "Somehow I find that hard to believe."

"I mean it." He said. His garbled, strange voice made it impossible to discern honesty. I gave up with a scoff, turning away to resume my writing. "When Hisoka made his proposition to you, I was angered. Do you remember my aura from then? I nearly killed him."

I paused. Reluctantly, I considered that. _Yeah... his aura did flare that time... but I thought he was trying to hurt us... _"... hah, right..."

"Believe me or not, it wasn't_ Hisoka_ who wanted to save you today." He said, and though I couldn't hear his footfalls, his fading voice told me he was walking away. "_He_ isn't the one who is your ally."

When I looked over my shoulder, he was gone. I frowned bitterly, watching the empty hall.

Finally, I closed my journal with an annoyed sound. Stowing my journal in my shirt, I shoved my hands and pen in my pockets. Having lost my train of thought, I decided to wander the ship until I felt better. The strange conversation and the events of the day had left a bad taste in my mouth.

The memories that I hadn't written down plagued me. But _worse_ were other thoughts that forced their way to the surface.

…_. when you wake up, will you thank me...? Will we go back to being best friends, and play school, pretending none of this ever happened...? Or will you go back to him..._

A familiar sound drew me from my thoughts. It was Killua's voice. It was muffled, but recognizable. He was shouting something. There was a door to my left with circular windows; it was the only one in sight. I peeked through it.

Surely enough, Killua was there and unsurprisingly, so was Gon. He was sitting on the ground, saying something back to Killua, innocently scratching his head. Killua just sighed in exasperation.

I was torn, unsure if I should hate Killua for being a jerk, or be glad that the two of them still got along. Despite the turmoil in my heart, I smiled; it was a cute scene regardless of my bitterness. Then I noticed the old man from earlier today was in the room as well. He was in a strange position; standing on one leg, and holding a medium sized ball in one hand. When Gon dove for him, I realized what they were doing; they must have been playing a game.

Watching Gon move was as impressive as it always was; he was so energetic and determined. Killua on the other hand was frustrated, but... I'd seen him move faster against Hisoka. I frowned, wondering why he was holding back. At that moment, I remembered what Gon had said in the forest and frowned.

… _of course he cares for you... didn't you see how hard he was fighting? _

Then, Killua suddenly turned towards me. _Ack, I'm caught! _My heart skipped, but his eyes were closed and he was scowling. He waved dismissively to Gon, and marched towards me and the door I was looking through.

As fast as I could, I ducked and crept away as quickly and stealthily as I could. But before I could sneak around the corner, the door opened. I froze, sweating coldly.

"Huuuuh? Clearian, what are you doing here?" Killua called down the hall, sounding irritable. I grimaced. _Damn it. _

I turned, refusing to meet his eyes. "Hmph... I was trying to find a quiet place to write, but you guys are too noisy..."

When I glanced up at him, his eyes were half lidded and irritable. "Hmph. You and your stupid _diary_. Well, good luck... You're not going to find quiet around _here_; Gon's going to be trying to get a ball from that _old man_ forever. That guy's unbeatable."

"Hm. What are you gonna do, then?" I asked, shifting awkwardly.

"Dunno... I guess I'll wander around, for now..."

"Well... just remember that we're sticking together starting tomorrow." I said firmly, clenching my fists. He glanced at me dismissively. "Even if you hate me, even if I'm weak... I don't want to get in trouble from Hisoka again because you don't want to work with me."

He rolled his eyes, turning away.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stick together, yadda, yadda. As long as Gon's there too, I guess it's fine..." He waved lazily and walked the other way. Part of me was glad that he didn't want to be around me; I really didn't want any company. The other part realized that he didn't even want to be around Gon. And that scared me.

Then my eyes widened in realization. _He... he's leaking killer intent... _I took a step towards him. "Hey, are you okay, Killua?"

He paused. "I'll be fine. I just need to be alone for now."

And with that I watched him walk away. With a sinking feeling in my gut. I shrugged, turning away.

_I don't care if he wants to be alone for now... he doesn't seem as angry at me anymore.. and if he's agreed to work together during the actual exam, that's a step forward... _

But still, as I wandered, the cold persisted and crept through me. _Who cares if he obviously prefers Gon... it's not like I took this exam to make friends... As long as we stick together and pass this exam, nothing else matters... When we get out of this stupid thing, I'll never see him again. Because I'll have you... right? _

When finally I came to a stop, there was a door before me, and I realized where my wanderings had taken me. I was back to the room where I'd left Kurapika and Leorio. But they were no longer shouting and arguing; I couldn't hear anything but silence from behind the door. I opened it, finding darkness waiting inside. My eyes adjusted, and the sounds of slow breathing made me realize how tired I was. I closed the door as quietly as I could. With a stretch I yawned, and took out my journal. Sitting on the floor and leaning against the door, I quickly finishing my journal entry for the day.

* * *

Gon and I were frozen in place as Killua walked away. I was too numb to think, let alone move.

Then, after what seemed like a painfully cold eternity, Gon turned to me. And his lip wobbled pitifully. Seeing him so hopelessly sad, I couldn't help but smile encouragingly up at him as he wailed and flopped down to hug me.

"... I'm sorry, Clearian! Killua's being so mean..." He whimpered. I slid up into a sitting position and patted him on the back.

"Hahaha.. I-it's not your fault, Gon..." I said, laughing weakly. "K-Killua and I just don't get along well, we-we can't help it...!"

Gon's eyes shone bright with tears and he grimaced grossly. "B-b-but! We're supposed to be f-friends! I don't get why you two can't just be friends...!"

My mind raced and I fumbled at the sight of a crying kid. "Uhhhh...! Killua and I.. we.. we're just too alike, you know? Weee... we've both got dark humor and we wanna be the coolest and strongest and stuff, but... opposites attract, you know? We can't all be alike, or it doesn't work out!"

Gon rubbed his eyes, sniffling. "... like yin and yang?"

"Y-yeah! Just like Yin and Yang! If there isn't a balance, then there can't be peace!"

Gon looked down soberly, pouting. "... I guess that's true... but still..."

I looked up thoughtfully. "Hmmm... it could also be that he's just stressed out... he wants to pass this exam as much as I do... and I keep almost failing, and getting us killed..."

Gon nodded at that, brightening. "Oh, so there is hope, then? Once we pass this exam, we can all get along!"

I laughed awkwardly, looking aside and giving him a twitching grin. "... yeaaaaah... suuuuuure..."

"So he was just freaking out because he's scared that you're gonna die! Wow, he must really care about you!"

I was too tired to argue with him, and he was too happy about his solution that I just shook my head and agreed.

"... whatever you say, Gon-Kun... whatever you say."


	12. Illusions

Thank you for the reviews! I can't begin to voice how much they mean to me..

Anyhow, I meant to post this days ago, but it's been so hot... I didn't want to go up to my room to finish this thing... Long chapter, here we go!

* * *

Light and warmth danced across my skin. Bliss flowed through my veins and I floated on a calm sea of happiness. I smiled, and I knew what it meant to feel complete.

White. I opened my eyes to white, virginal and unending.

There was nothing to see in the vast whiteness, except two children. A boy and girl sat, relaxing in the white world; facing each other with their hands entwined. They shared a simple happiness. A gentle breeze sifted through their pink and blue hair. And I knew them like a beloved old photograph. I knew the boy with frizzy pink hair and the girl with long blue hair. Their happiness was my happiness, it was warm like honey, and I melted into it.

And then, the illusion cracked, and I felt that something was wrong. I wasn't sure why, but something told me the kids were in jeopardy, and I had to warn them..! But what was it..?

And as it grew, I realized what it was; a shadow. The shadow behind the girl with blue hair was out of place in this world of white. It stretched out behind her, and shifted unnaturally. It twitched and writhed and then, to my horror, a hand appeared; a mangled claw of darkness. It moved silently, unnoticed by the blissfully unaware children.

Desperate, I opened my mouth to call to them, but no sound came. I reached for them, but it was too late.

The hand closed around the girl's neck, and without a sound, without hesitation, it yanked her backwards. And she vanished into her own shadow. Leaving behind a black puddle. I was too shocked to react. It had taken her quick as a cobra.

The pink haired boy was silently startled. He leaned over, peering into the hole where she vanished. Finding nothing, he covered his eyes and shook silently. And his pain crippled me. Then the shadow twitched. And the blackness began moving, spreading, shifting. It was going to swallow him as well!

_I have to save him!_

I ran to him but stopped short. My heart halted.

I looked back in terror. A hand reached up from my blackness, closing its black fingers around my ankle. I lifted my other foot to run, but another hand latched around my other ankle. I fell forward onto my knees. Then the hands multiplied quicker, and quicker, swiftly sprouting and climbing their way up my legs. I cried out in silent terror, clawing at the ground, but the clean white offered no grip. The hands dragged me into my own shadow, pulling me into the black hole. I looked up at the pink haired child. He was alone and crying as the black crept around him.

I reached for him and screamed. But no sound came out.

Then I fell into the world of darkness. I reached hopelessly for light, but the hands latched onto my arms, binding them beside me and covered my eyes, consuming me entirely.

I couldn't move. The dark was thick and pressing in from all sides; it held me all over with covetous hands. I felt buried. Suffocated. But I struggled. _I have to get away. _My mind screamed. I didn't know how I knew, but something bad was coming.

There were footsteps. But there was no floor. And there was no click of heels on ground. But I knew something was coming. Coming to get me. Even if it came silently, I _knew _it was coming_._ Even if it moved noiselessly, I could _feel_ its steps in my bones. Something in me was familiar with this unknown horror coming for me. This terror in the dark.

Suddenly, I could hear my breathing, and my breaths came loud, sharp and quick. Whatever it was came silently, steadily and deliberately. It knew where I was. It knew I was trapped. That I couldn't escape it.

_I have to get away, I _**_have _**_to...! I HAVE TO RUN._

The waves of fear bounced around my head; echoing like ripples on water. I struggled wildly. The chaos crept down my spine. I was going insane.

Then it was silent. I panted loudly, but it was silent. I didn't trust the silence.

It was waiting for me to relax. So it could eat me. Piece by piece. I _knew _it. It was just playing with me.

But the silence stretched on, and on. I became acquainted to my heart's pounding, the knock in my chest that shook my bones, and made my clenched fingers throb. Minutes passed like hours, and eventually the terror faded. I still couldn't move, and I still needed to run, but the heat of terror cooled. I was tense.

Then I heard it. It was soft. My brows pinched together in concentration.

It was a distant keening. It confused me. _What does it mean...?_

And then the keening grew stronger. Through the thick, muffling black I strained to listen.

Then the noise became a flush, full scream; her scream. A scream of agony, like I'd opened a door and she stood before me shrieking. I froze in spine chilling terror. And then the scream was _mine_. And the agony crushed _me _instead_._

_What's happening?! I don't understand...!_

The dark was stabbing me and I thrashed helplessly. Screaming. My throat stung. Pain, like a million, burning needles pierced me to the bone.

_I HAVE TO GET AWAY._

And then the restraints vanished, and I hit the ground running. Everything was a uniform black, but I ran. It didn't matter where I ran I just had to run because something was going to hurt me if I didn't and even if I hurt myself in the dark it didn't matter. It didn't matter if I died running. Because getting caught would mean much worse. It would mean so much more pain.

The black had no end. I could have been running in place. It didn't matter.

But then, there was light, to my right. Bright, pure and _blinding. _A door to a _world_ of white shone through the dark, and I remembered that peaceful place I was before. I ran to the light like a dehydrated child to an oasis. I relaxed as the light warmed me. Then a sudden, fierce pain resounded in my skull. I fell back.

Echoes of pain rolled around my head, and when I opened my eyes, it was to darkness again. But this time, someone was with me.

"Killua..!" I exclaimed. He radiated a faint light, and every inch of me was confused, but he left no room for questions. His face overflowed with terror. He scrambled to his feet and pulled me up with him.

"RUN!" He cried. My jaw was slack and my eyes were so wide it hurt. I was confused but his voice trembled with fear for his life. And nothing scared me more than to see him so scared.

I ran with all I had. My lungs ached, and my legs felt detached from my body.

Then, the darkness awoke.

It had _eyes._

Thousands of blinking, soulless, black eyes, with white pupils. They watched as we ran, as we flew past them. No matter where we ran, they surrounded us, peering through the black, like a curious tunnel.

"W-what are these?!" I shouted in horror. Killua shook his head. His eyes were so wide, so hopeless, so terrified. I felt my eyes water up.

"Just RUN, it's _COMING_!" He cried, running desperately. My hope faltered. I was afraid to ask. But even more terrified of the answer. But I couldn't resist...

"W-what's coming...?"

Then the eyes around us blinked one final time, and closed permanently. The darkness closed in around us again. And Killua looked over his shoulder, and though I knew I shouldn't, I couldn't help but look as well, and I regretted that decision.

Eyes.

Just two of them.

But _huge_.

Empty and black.

They gaped out of the dark behind us.

They were larger than us, much, much larger.

They were size of _mountains._

And we were ants.

And as I sprinted frantically, I felt the ground slipping with each step, pulled out from under me. And though I moved my legs faster than ever, I knew I was being sucked backwards, into the void. Into the emptiness of those two black holes.

I panicked and turned to Killua. He was staring at his legs with round eyes. The shadows were eating him; his feet were vanishing into the uniform black. And as he saw his legs slowly vanish, he was choking on terror, and it was consuming him, dragging him under even quicker. I reached for him and he reached for me with stricken eyes. _I CAN SAVE HIM._

But as my fingers groped for his, they vanished and the black swallowed him whole.

I cried out.

And then the black reached up with groping, hungry hands, and held me in place as the wide, towering, open maw of the black eyes lurched forward to devour me.

"NO! LET ME GO! DON'T TOUCH ME!"

The hands stretched up and pulled on my shoulders, dragging me backwards into the black. I flailed as they clung to my wrists. I bucked and screamed and struggled.

"_Clearian..." _The darkness called. _"Clearian, hold still..."_

"NOOOOOO! PLEASE!"

"_Clearian, stop struggling..."_

"Don't touch me, please... I don't want to die..."

"_Clearian, you're not dying- _WAKE UP!"

A light burst into existence, and I gasped for air.

The dark dissolved, and the hands that bound me weren't sinister shadows, but gentle human hands. Soft yellow light dimly illuminated concerned expressions. My head spun. A vaguely familiar blond boy was holding me down. I struggled to understand that I was in a soft bed, not an ocean of groping hands.

"Clearian, it was just a dream..!" The boy said, looking deeply troubled. I winced up at him.

"... a... a dream..?" I said quietly. My throat felt scratchy, like I'd been screaming. Guilt was a cold rock in my stomach. "... what have I done...?"

Another boy appeared in the dim, soft light; his cheek was puffy and he looked upset.

"You _punched_ me is what you did...!" He ranted, shaking an angry fist. I had a hard time expressing my regret; for some reason my face wouldn't form the expression I needed it to. I settled for looking down, unable to meet his accusing glare. "Kurapika had to hold you down to keep you from _freaking_ out!"

"... Kurapika..." I tested the name. That's right, that was the name of the blond boy holding me down. His hands were firmly around my wrists, and he sat on my legs to keep me from flailing in my sleep. _Maybe that was why the hands felt so real..._

My memories came back to me in bits and pieces. The three of us were friends, and were sharing a room on a blimp. We were in the Hunter Exam and on our way to the third phase of it. My head spun as I reacquainted to reality. "Uhh... I'm sorry... I'm okay now..."

Kurapika looked uncertain, but released his hold on me, hovering in concern. "... are you sure you're alright, Clearian...?"

I touched a temple; my head hurt and my bones ached and seemed hollow. I felt empty, and like death was hiding in the rafters, even though I knew it was a dream... despite my unease, I forced a smile. "I'll be fine, thank you.."

Kurapika moved to sit on the side of the bed, and Leorio stood at the foot, making angry noises. I gave him a regretful look. "I uhh... I'm sorry for hitting you, Leorio... it wasn't personal... I just..."

I chewed over my thoughts.

_This hasn't happened in a long time... not in years..._

I shook my head clear and plastered a smile on my face. ".. had a really scary dream."

He looked unsatisfied, crossing his arms and making a disquieted noise. "Hmph... what was it about? You were shouting pretty loudly for it to be just a dream, even a '_really scary' _one!"

I frowned, looking down at my hands. I really didn't want to think about it too much. In concept, it was pretty embarrassing, really... running away from eyes in the dark with Killua. And the part with the kids wouldn't make sense to them...

But still, I owed him of all people an explanation. His swollen cheek warranted one. I groped for the words to explain, closing my hands, as if trying to grasp how to say it. "I... it was..."

"You don't have to tell us, Clearian." Kurapika interrupted firmly. I looked at him in surprise. His expression went from stern to soft. Then he turned to Leorio. "Why don't you get us some breakfast, Leorio?"

"Huuuh?! I'm the one who got punched and now I have to get breakfast, too?!" He shouted furiously. I opened my mouth to agree with him, but Kurapika's glare silenced both of us.

"Yes. Getting breakfast might help you walk off your _grievous_ injury." Kurapika said, turning up his nose. "Unless you're afraid you'll get lost along the way? Or do you think it might be too heavy for you to carry? I guess you're right, I can do it, Leorio."

"Huuuuuh?! No way! I can definitely do it; I'm not weak and I'm _definitely_ no idiot!" He fumed, and just like that, he stormed out of the dim light and into the bright hallway. I smiled after him sadly.

"... poor guy. It's cruel of you to abuse him like that, Kurapika..." I chastised softly. He merely smiled with a shrug.

"It will make him feel useful. He's not very good with this sort of thing..." Kurapika said, making me shift nervously. I felt the weight of his concern weigh down on me.

_Crap... I must have _**_really_**_ freaked out, this time..._

"Uhh... what... exactly did I do while I was asleep...?" I asked avoiding eye contact. Kurapika made a thoughtful noise.

"Well... you started off tossing in your sleep and breathing really loudly... then you got quiet, and I thought that was the end of it." He said quietly. I twiddled my thumbs, as he continued. ".. but then a few minutes later, you started making noises; sounds of distress. And that's when Leorio woke up. We didn't want to wake you, but when you started flailing, we worried you were going to break something. So Leorio tried to hold you down, and you punched him. So I restrained you and he turned on the light."

I stared at my hands in my lap as he explained. _I sound insane... like I belong in an institution... _I shook my head remorsefully. "I... this doesn't-"

"You don't have to explain to me, Clearian." He said earnestly, placing comforting a hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him sullenly. "But if you want to talk about it, I'm here. I know Leorio isn't the best person to talk to, that's why he's the one getting breakfast... but we both want to help however we can."

I gave him a small glare then. My pride had taken a beating as of lately. Killua's scolding flashed in front of my eyes. _Here I go again.. getting rescued._

"Look, I appreciate the help, but you don't have to force yourself to _take care _of me._"_ I brushed his hand from my shoulder. "I can take care of myself; I'm just as much of a combatant in this exam as you two are; I need to be strong too!"

Kurapika's expression grew stern. "Clearian, it's not that we don't think you're _strong_ enough to take care of yourself... we just want to help."

I fell into the sheets and rolled over. "Yeah well, I've had enough of getting helped and rescued in the past few days... a _spooky dream_ is the least of my problems..."

I heard him sigh and hoped that was the end of it. I was bitter, to say the least, and part of me regretted what I said. The other part of me was too stubborn to admit it. But as the moments ticked by, Kurapika didn't move from his spot on my bed.

"Look, Clearian..." He started softly. I tensed; I really didn't want to have to hurt him to make him leave me alone, but if he forced me to... "It's just... when I saw you struggling, I remembered what it was like... after my clan..."

I froze. Guilt was a cold pit in my stomach.

"And I remember how hard it was to sleep at night..."

I wrestled with my shame for a moment. With a sigh, I surrendered and rolled back over. "Your clan... the Kurta Clan, right...?"

He nodded vaguely, lost in a memory. Then he shook his head and looked at me with a smile. "... I know we only just met, and we all like to keep secrets. But just know that Leorio and I will protect you and your secrets. You saved our lives, yesterday..! Talking to you and fetching breakfast is the least we can do..."

"... it's not like I did much..." I pouted, unable to meet his honest eyes. It wasn't very fair. I knew major secrets that they kept, but I'd only told them lies... the guilt in my stomach was a rapidly growing snowball. "Kurapika... you and Leorio had it _much_ worse than I did growing up. I don't deserve your pity..."

Kurapika laughed then, and I raised my head and frowned. "Suffering isn't a contest, Clearian..! Haha, bad things happening in the world doesn't invalidate your struggling or pain... pain is pain." He wiped his eye with a sigh. "And anyways, I'm not pitying you, Clearian. I'm _helping_ you. In the way that I wish _I'd_ been helped... So smile! Even if it's just faking it for me."

I flinched as his hand pushed on my head, ruffling my already messy hair with his hand. I sulked, feeling like a child again, but allowed him a moment before batting his hand away. "You can brood over your tragic past when I'm not here to watch you."

I pouted, smoothing my hair pointlessly. "I don't even _have _a tragic past... it was just a freaky dream..._"_ I muttered.

"That's fine." He said brightly, leaning back on his hands and smiling easily. "But everyone has trouble at some point. And I don't mind listening if it's you. So don't be shy!"

Then he jumped at me, pulling my head against his chest in a crushing hug. I flailed weakly, pulling at his arms trying to break free.

"HEY! Don't _glomp_ me, you're suffocating me! Help!"

"Hahaha, I _am_ helping you, Clearian! _Accept _my help!"

"ACK! I need help _breathing_! Kurapikachu, please!"

"... w... what did you call me?"

"Uh.."

Then the door opened, revealing a very confused teenager with a tray of food.

"Uhhhh. I got breakfast... are you guys done cuddling, now?"

"We- we aren't cuddling, Oreo!"

"Ehhh?! My name is LE-Oreo!"

"Just give us the breakfast, cookie boy."

"Eeeh?! What does THAT mean?! You don't DESERVE breakfast!"

"NO WAIT, come back please, Le-Oreo, I'm sorry!"

* * *

When the blimp landed, the sun was shining and harsh. When my eyes adjusted to the light, the first thing they registered was our altitude; we were _so _high! An amazing view stretched out around us in all directions. I gawked at lush green forests, smoothly sloping mountains and blue ribbons of river. Leorio, Kurapika and I had wandered off of after we listened to Netero explain the exam to us.

"Woah... is this the kind of thing that Hunters see often...?" I marveled quietly.

"Hunters _are _impressive people..." Kurapika said proudly, seeming to affirm his beliefs. Leorio on the other hand made a rude noise.

"Who cares about the view? What's important getting to the bottom of this dang tower!" Leorio said obnoxiously. I gave him a withering glower.

"... this view is a treasure, and you're a blind man, Leorio..." I muttered to myself as I approached the edge of the stone tower we stood on. "But I guess you're right about the tower..."

As I edged towards the precipice, my gut sank. My slip from yesterday flashed freshly in my mind, paralyzing me with fear. I paused, several feet from the edge, unable to move forwards or backwards. A hand patting my shoulder made me jump. Kurapika gave me a reassuring smile.

"You won't fall this time, Clearian." Leorio said seriously, holding my wrist firmly. He'd shed his annoying attitude, and I stared in surprise at his change in demeanor.

"Right. We've got you." Kurapika said, holding my other wrist. I swallowed hard and nodded once, hardening my resolve.

_If I'm going to be a hunter, then heights are going to be the least of my problems._

We advanced towards the edge cautiously, until we were able to peer over the stones of the tower. What we saw made me gasp.

We were on top of an _enormous _tower of homogeneous stone, hundreds of feet tall. But more amazing was where the tower was built; it stood atop a _natural _tower of stone. A plateau, that stood hundreds of _thousands_ of feet above the surrounding landscape.

"Woah..." I murmured. Then I gave Leorio a devilish grin. "Now you can't _possibly _say that isn't freaking amazing, Leorio."

His eyes were wide as he craned his neck to see over the edge. "Y-yeah... that's... kinda cool, I guess..."

"Hey!" A voice shouted, making us jump. At the sound, I was the first to back pedal, dragging the two of them back several feet, much to their alarm. They gave me irritable glares and I scratched my cheek sheepishly before turning to address the person who called to us. I already knew who it was, and the thought of facing him made my stomach churn.

"I thought _you _were the one who wanted to stick together, Clearian." Killua drawled irritably, hands in his pockets. I had a hard time keeping eye contact, settling instead on his shoes. Each time I looked at face, a different memory rose to the surface; his cold eyes scolding me, or the terrified look from last night's dream...

"I, uh. Yeah, you're right." I fidgeted. He made an unsatisfied sound. From his side, Gon ran to join the three of us by the edge.

"Leorio, Kurapika, Clearian! Good morning!" He said, brighter than the sun.

"Good morning, Gon." Kurapika said happily.

"What have _you _two been up to this whole time?" Leorio said reproachfully. "Did you even sleep last night?!"

Gon laughed bashfully, scratching his head. I remembered Killua saying he'd be up all night, trying to get that ball from old man Netero. I looked at him with concern, but he seemed awake enough to me.

"Uhh, I was playing a game! And yeah, I got a little sleep... hehe..."

"Tch. Kids are so full of energy... I envy you. I didn't get too much sleep last night because of _someone!" _Leorio rounded on me, baring his teeth. I ignored him, crossing my arms.

"Yeah, your snoring is pretty loud, Leorio. I'm not surprised you woke _yourself_ up." Kurapika said with a shrug. I snickered as Leorio made an outraged noise. Then, a gentle elbow in my side made me jump. I looked at Gon in surprise as he leaned towards me, not-so-subtly shielding his mouth with his hand.

"Pssst, Clearian... I talked to Killua for you..! He should be nicer to you, now..!" He whispered with a confident wink. I gave him a sidelong look, unsure of how to feel.

"So how are we going to get to the bottom of this tower?" Killua asked in a bored voice. I pointedly didn't look at him, instead opting to survey the other examinees. In doing so, I realized that more than a few of them had vanished from sight. "We have 72 or so hours to get down there."

"Hmmm..." Gon said thoughtfully, craning his neck over the edge of the tower. "I don't think we can climb down it... it's pretty steep, and such a long way down! How would we get bathroom breaks?!"

I smiled ruefully. He had a point, I supposed.

"Gon... there's more flaws in that plan than bathroom breaks..." Kurapika said, touching his brow.

"Hmm... then how do we get down?" Gon wondered sadly.

"My guess is that we have to go inside the tower." I said, touching my chin. "A lot of applicants have already vanished, and it wasn't by going down the side."

I squatted and knocked on the ground. "So there has to be a way _into _the tower."

"Hmmm, not bad." Killua appraised dully. I ignored the compliment, shifting to knock on another stone. "So there are trap doors."

"Ehhh, I guess we can't take this part of the test together, can we?" Gon wailed. My gut twisted.

_Damn it... just as we started working together, we got a solo exam... _I glanced up at Killua, then away. He was staring at me, and his intense glare from yesterday rose to the front of my mind. I felt myself sweat. _But after all that's happened.. I guess I really don't want to be around him anymore..._

"Well, I don't know about the rest of you," Killua said, and to say I was startled would be an understatement, when he grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me up. "But Clearian and I are taking this exam together."

I was numb. And the shock on everyone's faces mirrored my own surprise.

"Uhh, that's nice Killua. But how are you going to take it together? It looks like only one person can fit in each trap door." Gon said thoughtfully, squatting to inspect the tiles. I felt Killua shrug.

"We'll find a way. If we don't, then that crazed clown is going to kill us."

I was uncomfortable with this development in Killua's attitude. Extremely uncomfortable. And to say that feeling an insane jester's aura call out to me was a welcome sensation might put my discomfort into perspective. I looked over my shoulder to where the familiar, wicked aura had come from, and Killua followed my gaze for a moment. Hisoka stood watching us from a distance, with his weird needle friend by his side. I tensed up feeling his eyes on us.

"... what do _they _want..." Killua muttered so only I could hear it. I swallowed hard. Even from a distance, I could tell the murderous magician wanted to speak to us. And the part of me that valued my life was obliged to give in.

"... not sure.." I glanced at Gon who was talking animatedly with Kurapika and Leorio. "... but we have to keep those two away from those three, got it?"

I felt him nod.

"So I guess we'll see you guys after this exam, right?" Killua said confidently for the three of them to hear. They paused in their conversation. "Because we're all going to pass, right?"

I saw determination glint in their eyes and smiled.

"Of course we're going to pass." Leorio said with a clenched fist.

"We'll see you at the bottom." Kurapika said with a nod.

"Hopefully we can work together on the next exam!" Gon said cheerfully.

"The last one to the bottom has to buy dinner." I laughed, feeling their confidence overflow into me. Then I smirked devilishly. "After we get our licenses, of course."

We all shared a bold nod. With that, Killua and I turned and approached the waiting magician.

I resisted the urge to latch onto Killua as my legs carried me towards the man who seeped danger. Luckily, his back was to us as we approached. I wouldn't have been able to handle his eyes on me, as they dissected my every move. Feeling like a meal, delivering itself to its own demise, as the predator counted the ways in which to devour me.

Even without his gaze, I felt tense, as if strolling down death row. Every instinct in me told me to turn around and run away, as we willingly put ourselves in the hands of two sinister men.

The sting of my nails in my palms helped me ignore the fear.

I was so anxious, I didn't realize I was talking, and I didn't know I felt it, until I spoke it. "I'm sorry I got you into this." I said, to my surprise. I pinched my traitorous lips together. The words had slipped out thoughtlessly. But Killua tossed his head and laughed.

"I'm not." He said despite a bitter smile. I gave him a startled glance for a moment, embarrassed that he acknowledged what I'd said. "We're already half way through the Hunter Exam, and I met some cool people. Enduring a little blackmail from a clown is a reasonable price. Besides, his demands are nothing we can't handle."

I made an unsure noise as we closed in on the aforementioned clown. "... your priorities are pretty warped aren't they, Killua?"

The moment Hisoka turned and laid eyes on us, we froze. Heels in the ground, we refused to move any further. Creepy, golden eyes narrowed in delight, and he turned to face us.

"Oh, nice to see such a _happy_ couple..." He sighed happily. It was difficult to swallow under his scrutiny. "Nice of you to join us."

I glanced quickly at the needle guy to the right, he twitched and chattered noisily. I remembered his promise of helping me yesterday, and it made me more wary than assured.

"What do you want?" Killua snapped. Hisoka lifted his hands and shrugged smoothly.

"Just to see you two happy, of course." He replied casually. I glared and clenched my fists.

"I find that hard to believe." I said, quietly seething. He tilted his head in a catlike manner.

"Making the right friends is important." The needle man said, with his creepy warped voice. Seeing him twitch made me anxious, and something about the way he looked down on us made my stomach roll. "Useful allies are precious."

I scoffed. "Well if making us allies was the plan, then you've messed up. I didn't exactly prove my usefulness through your test."

"And we aren't friends." Killua said darkly. My breath stuck in my throat. "We can hardly _stand_ each other."

"Oh?" Hisoka said cryptically, full of arch delight. I glared up at him sullenly. "Well then, this next exam will be a fine opportunity to prove your _usefulness, _and become _great _friends. You're going to spend 72 hours together, alone."

Killua tensed at that. "What?! This is a solo exam! How?!"

Hisoka grinned placidly. "Like this."

He pointed his finger at my chest, then Killuas and my eyes widened. I forced my aura to life with a fierce _shove_ and concentrated it to my eyes.

_Bungee Gum?!_ Hisoka's flamboyantly colored Hatsu connected our chests, and according to the jester's will, it pulled us together, as if we were magnetically attracted. I was too startled to react but Killua cried out in surprise.

"Now play nice, you two!" Hisoka chimed, pushing us backwards. And just like that - crying out in dismay, bound by a sticky, pink rope of fate - we fell through a trap door and into the third phase of the Hunter Exam.


	13. Shadowed

I never thought I'd be in this sort of situation with Killua. One where I was at his complete mercy, alone with him in the slim, winding labyrinth of Trick Tower... Couldn't he at least try to be gentle..? How could he be so cruel?

It was dark except for faint torch light and I was hot. His sweating hands gripped mine, fingers intertwined and unyielding. I winced at the force, but was helpless to stop him... I needed him. And we needed to do this. There was nothing else I could do but grit my teeth and bear the pain.

_K-Killua... you're hurting me, damn it...! _

But I couldn't tell him that. Speech was forbidden. Even as his fingers crushed mine in their ruthlessly cruel prison, I couldn't so much as whimper. My eyes stung and watered hotly as I tried to keep in my cries as he squeezed even harder. _Nnn..! I can't take it anymore..! _

"Killua, it hurts..!" I panted, pained. He lifted his eyes to me in the glimmering torch light.

"Be _silent _Clearian.." He hissed, leering. My lip quivered as his grip became too painful to stand.

"Wh-who's there?!" The man below us swiveled around. I groaned.

"SCREW this plan!" I shouted, dropping all pretenses as Killua groaned.

The plan was a simple one. We were hand in hand, my feet on one wall, and Killua's on the other, scaling the narrow hall. The goal had been to scale up the narrow corridor, and sneak above the unwitting prisoner below us, but that was no longer an option. "Plan B!"

There was no Plan B. At least, not that Killua knew of.

I let go of Killua's hands and dropped down on the baffled prisoner, swiftly kicking him in the head. Plan B was _much _more simple. The man fell to the ground without a struggle or a cry. Landing crouched, I jumped up and a put my hands on my hips triumphantly. "HAH! That was **much **easier!"

Killua landed smoothly beside me and scowled. "You idiot! Why couldn't you just follow the plan?! We were supposed to go **over **the prisoner's head, not **through **it..!"

"Eeeeh!? You were crushing my damn hands! Hello? I need these!" I wiggled my fingers.

He crossed his arms. "Pff... you're just lucky that you didn't get us caught, or else-"

Suddenly, an electronically filtered voice interrupted us from the ever present darkness. _"Kukuku.. That was very skilled of you, blonde boy. But I'm afraid that knocking out my prisoners is not a part of your exam; your goal is **stealth,** not combat. So I will begin the timer... **now.**"_

"EEEEEEH?!" We cried.

I clenched my fists, glaring into the faceless darkness. "No way! He didn't see me though, this isn't fair!"

_"Kukuku, fair isn't a part of being a hunter. If you're going to pursue the life of a hunter, you'd better take that to heart. And you'd better find a safe room!"_

"Shit!" His words zapped me into motion, and I began running through the torch lined halls of Trick Tower. Killua was quick to follow suit.

_"You have five minutes to reach a safe room! And remember... if a prisoner takes your tag, you fail."_

"TCH!" This isn't going to plan at all..! "DAMN IT, FLUFFY. Why'd you have to squeeze so hard!?"

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT! Why are you such a wimp!? Using that much force shouldn't have hurt that badly..!"

"YOU ALMOST CRUSHED MY WRITING HAND!"

"Keep it down, there are still other prisoners around..! They could try and take our tags at any time..!"

"You think I don't know tha-" As we rounded a corner, my mouth and feet stopped in their tracks. Several alert men in brown stood in the orange torch light. They turned as we skidded to a stop. "-Shit! More prisoners..!"

My mind whirled as I tried to decide. If we turn back then-

"Keep running!" Killua shouted, yanking me forward, _towards_ the readied prisoners. They shouted aggressively as they charged towards us; a living wall of muscle and anger. "We'll have to just run through them; try not to get caught, okay..?!"

I wiped away my shock and pulled my arm free as I focused on sprinting. _Come on, focus! Just feel your aura..._ The red mist of energy clung to me as I rushed forward. _Now draw it... into your legs... and JUMP!_

In two quick bounds, I leaped onto the wall. My feet barely touched the stone as I dashed along it, above the wide eyes of the prisoners reaching for me. But it would be a thousand years before they could even _dream _of catching someone like me. I grinned triumphantly as I easily landed back on the ground, completely evading them and dashed back into the darkness.

Killua joined me a moment later, looking irritated. I was laughing.

"Cheer up, we can do this!" I urged. But something in the pit of my gut stirred. _If we can do this... why do I feel so uneasy..?_ I tried to put my finger on it, but the intercom drew my attention.

_"You have less than two minutes to find a safe room." _The exam administrator sounded giddy over the intercom. I scowled. _"Once inside the room, I will start the five hour timer before you can resume your exam. And remember, you only have forty more hours to make it out of the tower, or you fail!"_

_Damn it..! Where is this damn safe room..!? _I tried to focus on finding the room, assuming it would be some bright beacon of light and safety. But the darkness at the edges of my vision kept stealing my attention. I slowed my run a fraction. _Something... is wrong... _As I expanded my senses, I realized this scenario was vaguely similar. _Running through the dark with Killua... if I turn around, will there be eyes trying to swallow us..? _

I shook my head as I ran. That was a stupid thought; dreams were just dreams. I had to focus on reality.

I listened closely. Trying to discern the source of my unease. And then from the fog I felt it creeping suspicion became a roaring panic. My legs couldn't move fast enough. "Killua, run faster."

"Haaah?! You'll get left behind if I-"

"KILLUA! Run FASTER!"

"... is it beca-"

"GO!"

I shoved him, and then it was on us. I felt the ground skid beneath my sneakers as I turned to confront what had found us. What had hunted us down in the dark. Then I realized what was wrong.

_This isn't an average prisoner..! I can feel __**Nen**__! _

The next moments passed at the speed of molasses as two _Nen_ users readied their _Ren_. As this stranger and I prepared for battle. Reaching for my journal, I tried to glimpse the assailant that hid in the shadows, but a torch to my left blinded me to the darkness. I squinted, reaching for them with my _En,_ book in hand, but when I saw the glint of their blade it was too late. But to my astonishment it wasn't my arm that the blade sliced at.

And when agony erupted in my arm, it wasn't to break it. Merely disarm it. Crushing my flesh against bone, forcing my grip to slacken, and as my hand released what it was holding I could hardly believe it.

_They cut the rope to my journal… they're trying to take it from me.. my precious book..._

The world grew cold. And everything dimmed, trembling as if it was crumbling and falling apart around me. As I lost the last fragment of them I had I heard their voice whisper to me.

.. _d__on't forget me, okay..? _

This couldn't be happening.

I felt the breath slip from my lungs as the fabric strap grazed my finger tips, as it escaped my grasp before it and the unseen assailant vanished into the darkness. _No.._ Eyes round in disbelief. Lips parted in shock. My limbs felt useless. I was unable to react, even as Killua dragged me from the darkness and into the bright room. Even as the paneled door slid shut behind us and the lock slid in place. I couldn't move.

The proctor's voice was barely a whisper to me. _"Oho... interesting. Your five hour timer starts now, boys..."_

Then the pain cut through the fog. And I couldn't stand the agony. _It's **gone**..!_

"NOOOO!" I flung myself at the door; I had to get out! I had to get my journal back! But the door had no handles or knobs to open it. And it wasn't breaking under my fists. I was trapped while someone else held my journal! Desperation clawed at my skull as I pounded upon the obstacle between my book and I. It didn't even shake. "Give it BACK! _PLEASE!"_

Killua's voice behind me was alien and infuriating. "Clearian, we have to stay here for five hours, so stop freaking out, we'll get-"

He didn't understand, he had no _idea _what he had just costed me! I slapped his hand away as he dared to reached for my shoulder. The idiot had the _**audacity**_ to touch me after what he just did?! I'd **kill** him before I let that happen!

"I HAVE to get it back, Killua!" I shouted, rooted to the spot. If I moved, I was going to leap on him. I was going to try my hardest to _harm _him, and the terrible effort not to rip something apart was making me shake. "What if, what if they..." I couldn't hold my eyes still. I could barely contain the urge to break something. My mind was sprinting through the darkest depths it had seen in years. And I couldn't stand the images that played in my head. I shook it violently, clenching my shaking fists I turned to Killua. "I can't let them ruin it..!"

He looked uncertain, almost scared. And he should have been. Because I was ready to annihilate anything between my book and I and nothi-

A sharp, ringing pain made the world go white.

It felt like the world was tilted...

... my hearing was fuzzy, my head was throbbing, and something cold was against my cheek.

I felt each slow rise and fall of my chest. My head felt full of cotton and everything was too bright.

When I blinked a few times, Killua was looking down on me, his fist trembling.

_Why is he so tall...? _I wondered. Then I realized he wasn't, and I figured out what was so cold against my cheek.

It was the floor. _Damn... I was so pissed I let him hit me... and __**hard.**_

"What in the world is wrong with you, idiot?!" Killua's voice was louder and more annoying than usual. My stomach lurched and I cringed, closing my eyes again. "It's just a book! You can get another one!"

_Tch... he's really pissing me off... _My reeling head almost struggled to understand what he was talking about. What were we arguing about this time? I rubbed my aching skull as I peeled my face off of the floor, groaning. "... it's more than that, Killua...! You wouldn't understand, damn it...!"

He loomed over me, arms crossed. His eyes held fire as he glared down at me. But even so, his voice was glacier cool. "I wouldn't understand huh...?"

His fury almost scared me. His fight with Hisoka flashed in the back of my mind, and just from that brief memory, I was certain he was stronger. But that didn't matter. My journal wasn't something I was going to give up on..! I glared back at him because I was a fool. Because I was furious. Because this was something I would bet my life on!

There was a long, tense silence. And as the seconds dragged by, I felt the air thicken as our stubborn wills clashed and ground against each other. And in those long seconds, I learned that Killua's heart was darker than mine. Undeniably darker. And that as the longer he stared down at me, the colder his eyes grew, and the more the light faded from him and the air around him...

There was a monster in him, I realized. Underneath the fluff and spoiled attitude, something severe and thirsty watched and waited. And it wanted to rip me apart with the cold, unfeeling, yet dutiful hands. That fact speared me with a coldness that struck me numb to the bone. But I couldn't stop looking back into the abyss. If I stopped, then that meant I gave up on my last hope. That I was weak. Weak as my demons told me I was... that I believed the imps that snickered and whispered in my ear that I _lost it, _that I _failed _and a stranger was _defiling and reading and profaning _my secrets with their filthy hands...

Tears filled my eyes as I struggled not to lose the last ray of light that the journal had given me... But even then, I didn't blink. I didn't back down from the killer I saw in his eyes.

In that moment, I think he saw something in my eyes, too... though I can't say what he found. But when he closed his eyes, the monster I'd seen in the depths of his heart was carefully hid away... and the brat I'd come to know glared hotly down at me. The shadows lurking in the corners of the room vanished.

"Clearian, you're the one who said you wanted to work together, but how am I supposed to trust you when you're hiding so much?!" He demanded, turning away and crossing his arms.

Released from the staring contest, I was finally able to breathe. And clear my head a little to latch onto what he was saying. I looked down bitterly. ".. that's not fair... there are just things that I can't tell you, Killua.."

There was silence. "... then I can't team up with you... you're too unpredictable. And uncertainties jeopardize the mission."

I was shocked. Then angry. I turned up to him. "... so what, then...? You're just not gonna work with me? If I fail then that means that clown will kill you too, Killua..!"

He had his back to me. "Hmph... We'll see about that."

My anger flared again, and suddenly I was on my feet, spinning him around. "Damn it! You're impossible, Killua..!"

He slapped my hand away. "You're the one who's being impossible! Can't you just answer a few questions?! That's all I'm asking, and yet you're willing to risk our lives because you're a stubborn child!"

I stared at him in disbelief. I was the one who was being childish..? _He _was the one that was always such a spoiled _brat!_ But as he glared back at me, his eyes were clear and serious. Not at all bratty and spoiled at all... I looked down at my hand that I'd grabbed him with. I was so unstable, I was shaking... and yet Killua was calm when he spoke. "I don't understand why you're so mad, Clearian... So I won't stand by if you're going to throw a tantrum on me without letting me know why. Especially if we're going to be _partners,_ like you said you wanted."

I closed my eyes and my fist. _Damn it... I'm in the wrong here, aren't I...? _The weight of the realization was heavy in my stomach. Unable to stand facing him, I turned away and hid my embarrassment beneath a pout. "Tch... so if I answer you a _few _questions, you'll stop being an insufferable brat...?"

"... I might be persuaded." I could hear his victorious grin in his voice. My scowl twitched.

"... manipulative little fur ball..."

"Haaah? What was that..?!"

"Nothing, nothing..."

* * *

The room we were in was barely a room. More like a closet, long and narrow, with a table and two chairs squeezed inside. At the moment, the table was looking like a pretty comfortable bed... we'd been in the Trick Tower, sneaking around, over and behind prisoners for the last thirty two hours before we slipped up and were caught. This had been the first time someone had spotted us, and five hours sounded like a good nap...

But no. This _"Safe Room"_ had been turned into an _interrogation room_, and I was the one under the microscope, while Killua got to drill me for the next five hours about my most private secrets. _Fun._

I sighed. Resigning myself to my fate, I tipped back the chair I slouched in, teeter-tottering it with my weight. "Fine. Honesty starts now, but you're gonna have to do the same! You can't pretend like you're just some average kid, because you're definitely _**not**_**;** you've got some dark secrets, too..!"

He gave me a sidelong look from across the table, raising a brow. "Ehhh...? They're not exactly _secret, _you just never asked, loooser..."

My jaw dropped to the floor, along with the feet of my chair and I floundered. "E-eh..?! That's all it would have taken..?!"

I gripped my chin, suddenly spinning through my thoughts. _Then I could have asked about his freaky abilities sooner..? Maybe I can get some Zetsu tips... or ask how he gets his hands to turn to claws..! _

I was dazzled by the possibilities, but Killua's condescending scoff stirred me from my pondering. "Hmph. Not everyone is a shady guy like you, Clearian.."

I glared, bristling at the sleight. My ego was really aching lately... couldn't he cut me some slack for once? "... _whatever, _Killua. I have a reason for keeping secrets, so hurry up and ask your questions before I change my mind."

His mouth pouted brattily under a sullen glare then waved flippantly_. _"Fine. First of all, tell me why that little book is so important to you."

Ugh... that was a touchy subject. I shifted nervously as he fixed me with a serious stare and pointed accusingly. "You're always writing in it every night like a mad man; you get all serious and angry faced.. it's really freaky."

_.. Freaky..?! _

"Tch! I don't see why you care." I snapped, crossing my arms and turning away, refusing to answer such a rudely worded question. He grumbled impatiently and, full of regret, I remembered our deal and reluctantly glanced at him... "But it's... part of a promise I made to someone. I said that I'd record everything that they miss while I'm away from them.."

He didn't sound too persuaded. "Hmm.. I guess that makes sense.. but can't you just tell them you lost it and re-write the basics? Why are you so set on getting it back?"

I gave him a tired look. "Hm.. it's important for more than just that the words inside, Killua. But that aside, it's your turn to answer a question!"

"Ehhh..? Do I have to..?" He didn't seem as eager about this ordeal now that it was his turn.

"Yup! I have some questions, too! Trust is a two way street, and I don't exactly trust you, either."

"Hmmm... lame..."

"So! Answer me this. Why are you so _freakishly _good at being stealthy?"

He looked bored as he leaned back in his chair, balancing it on its back two legs. "Easy." He wagged his brows. "I'm an assassin."

I stared at him dully. "... eh?"

He honestly didn't expect me to believe him, did he? Oh, but he did.

He continued as if being a trained, paid killer was the most common thing in the world. "Yep! I've been one since I was six. For the past six years I've been murdering people for money."

I was uncomfortable. For a _number _of reasons. One of which was concern for his mental health. _Am I trying to partner up with a psycho..? _Another was genuine fear of Killua himself. Weren't his past skills enough to persuade me to believe him? He was able to go toe to toe with the _Manic Magician himself_. Only for a brief while, but still... to manage that without being familiar with Nen..? It was an unthinkably impressive feat.

But still. My only response was a dull stare. "... eh?"

Killua's chair legs hit the floor with a _clack _and he leaned one arm on the table, grinning conspiratorially. "I'm good at it, too. Would you like a demonstration? I could start with you."

I pushed away from the table, distancing myself from his hands that suspiciously resembled claws. "... Hey! I Thought we said we were being honest!"

Killua frowned, inspecting his sharpened nails irritably. "I'm not lying, stupid.. If you're not going to listen to my answer, then don't ask!"

I scowled, shifting uncomfortably. "Well, when an twelve-year-old says that they're an assassin, it's kinda hard to believe them.."

"Hmph..." He tipped his chair back again, arms slack beside him. "Then tell me, have you ever heard of the Zoldyck family...?"

I hesitated at that. "... well, yeah, who hasn't..?"

"Well I'm the third son in that family of assassins. If you don't believe me, that's fine. But don't be so surprised when I hunt you down after this exam is over." He sighed loftily. Then he smiled. "I wouldn't be much of an assassination, though. I'd murder you free of charge."

"E-eeeeh..?!" I stood suddenly, my chair screeching across the floor. "You wouldn't!"

He grinned cheekily, and I could have swore I saw a threatening glint in his eye. "Who knows. If you keep pissing me off, I just might..!"

I suppressed a shudder as ice slid down my spine and forced myself to sit down across from the boy that was threatening to end my life. "Yeah, whatever... just ask your damn question."

"Fine. Next question." He said, resting his elbows on the table and folding his hands before of his face. I felt a sudden shift in the room's atmosphere; he was serious. And that made me nervous. "Tell me about that freaky energy you have..."

_Whoops. **There** it is..! _The billion jenny question.

I froze up. As much as I promised I'd be honest, this_ really_ wasn't a matter I could discuss with him. I shook my head. "... look, Killua-"

He slammed his hand on the table. "You said you'd answer me!" I stared in shock at his determined gaze, and at the hint of fear I saw in him... He looked away, uncomfortable. "That power is unnatural and I don't trust it... it feels too much like..."

My eyes widened in surprise. _So he's felt Nen before..?_ That was interesting. It meant that he'd come into contact with a Hunter before... and he was scared of whomever he'd seen use it. But who? Was he that bothered by Hisoka? I urged him on. "... like...?"

"Nothing." He snapped, turning the conversation on me. "Answer my question first! If I don't know what it is, then I don't trust it; how do I know it's not going to kill me or something? In order to properly coordinate with an ally, you need to know their abilities. So if you want to be my partner, then start explaining, Clearian."

"... tch... I know all that! It's not like I don't _want_ to tell you... it's just against the rules... I'm not even supposed to know about it until after the exam..." I muttered, but he didn't look satisfied by my answer. In his eyes I saw the desperation of someone who was genuinely scared of and confused by _Nen, _and I knew he wasn't going to let up until he got what he wanted. I sighed at length, knowing I'd have to find _some _way to pacify him. "_Look_, I'll tell you the basics of it. I'll tell you everything you need to know about it; everything that I can without getting in trouble. But you'll have to wait until after the exam for _all _of the details. After we're both hunters, got it?"

He was silent for a long moment, his glacier blue eyes searching mine thoroughly and at length. To say it unnerved me to know that he _probably_ was a genuine murderer would be an understatement. I felt like he was reaching beyond my eyes and into my thoughts, sifting through each half truth and spying each lie. And for each lie, he would add one more cruelty to the ways he planned to kill me after this exam. Sweat rolled down my neck, and just as I was certain he'd refuse the offer, he closed his eyes and sighed.

"Fiiiine..!" I almost sighed with relief until he pointed an accusing finger at me. I went cross-eyed looking at it in front of my nose. "But you better not skip out on any details that will get me killed! And you better _teach _it to me when we pass the exam, got it?!"

_Oh great... now I have to spend time with this bratty murderer after the Exam, too... You __**know **__you have to stop making deals with killers, right Clearian? _

But his firm gaze didn't seem to be giving me a choice. I physically and mentally wilted under his determination.

"Tch... fine." I muttered, cradling my head in my arms on the table. I heard him make a pleased sound, when a sudden thought occurred to me. I grinned up at him. "However. You'll have to call me Clearian-Sensei, okay?"

Then he wasn't so pleased.

"I WHAT?!"

"A deal's a deal. Ahem. So. I guess I'll start by explaining my ability to you..."

"Not under that condition, no way!"

* * *

... aaaahahahahahaha.

I'm a baaaad, bad fanfic author. It's been nearly a **_year _**since I updated, and if anyone still cares about this story, then they really didn't deserve that kind of hiatus. And I apologize to anyone and everyone for the wait.. I've just had a hard time writing Clearian due to his emotional baggage as Killua's words and his own failures throughout the exam stack up on him. He's pretty different from when I started writing this thing, and finding the line between the character being depressed and between me just being a bad writer has been hard to decipher. I really enjoyed writing Clearian when he was a snarky, easy going pre-teen. It's not so fun when he's reminiscing and brooding and just hard to be around, for both the characters and me as a writer, haha...

Also, building the awkward bridge between Clearian and Killua's friendship has been really hard for me, haha. They're both so damn Tsundere, and _genuinely_ getting them to trust and befriend one another is proving next to impossible for both Gon and I... sigh.

However! Throwing a Yaoi joke _[NotthatKilluaandClearianisabadshipifyoushipthat..]_ in at the beginning of the chapter really made me want to finish this one..! So I hope the 11 month break didn't lose too many readers, and change my writing style _toooo _terribly over the break...! I'm really hoping that the differences in my writing are merely because Clearian's feelings and not just me losing inspiration.. but I guess we'll find out!

* * *

**REVIEWERS! **

To those I can't send messages to because you're a guest; Thank you so much for your reviews! I usually send PMs to those who review, but since I can't... I guess I'll reply here, haha.

Kri: I'm glad you enjoyed the deviation, haha! And luckily, Hisoka's gum wears off if you're like... twenty feet away from him. So it wasn't too much of a problem once they landed, haha. That would be a hilarious adventure for them; relieving their bladders would have been a wild ride, for sure.. x'D

Guest: Ahhhh! Your words are so kind..! Q AQ I'm so glad you're enjoying it, and to say that it was your favorite at the time REALLY made my day. I hope I can keep creating chapters that you'll enjoy..! -bows-

BookWorm: Thank you so much! I try very hard to keep the plot moving and add in new things so that readers aren't bored by reading the same story that they watched in the anime, word for word..! And of course I encourage you to keep writing and reading! Reading, because it helps you grow as a writer; I heard somewhere that those who don't have time to read don't have time to write. And it's true! So keep it up, and I hope you can continue to enjoy reading what I write, haha.

Also, for those who review with questions about the story's plot, please don't be upset if I don't answer your questions! Keeping asking them, of course, but I just can't give you definite answers... Because as much as I love to hear your theories and see the gears turning in your head as you puzzle out the mysteries, I really can't spoil! Or else there's no point in reading; the wondering is half the fun! Haha.


	14. Decipher

It was starting to creep up on me. The aching, the stinging. The emptiness of not having the weight of my journal around my neck. The coldness of not having the book against my chest. I knew it would only be a matter of time before I could no longer stand the effects of being without its soothing presence for so long... before I'd revert to my old habits.

Honestly, it had been so long since I'd been forced to deal with the pain, I almost wondered if I'd be able to handle it. I questioned whether or not my older body was more or less equipped to deal with the toxic red that tormented me. Maybe it would be manageable now, without that crutch?

_Maybe I can be strong on my own.. without your help... _I wasn't sure if that thought made me want to smile or frown. _Perhaps I should be asking whether or not I **want** to be strong on my own... It's strange. Even though I hate relying on people, for some reason I __**want**__ to need you. I __**want**__ that excuse... even though it seems you're moving on and-_

"_Oi,_ stop spacing out..!"

I jumped with wide eyes, my cheek rising out of my palm where it leaned on the desk. Killua was glowering at me, an irritable storm brewing behind his eyes. I'd been staring at him without really _seeing_ him.

With difficulty, I restrained my growing irritation. I would beat the pain. I wouldn't let it change me again. ".. sorry. I got lost. Where was I?"

He measured me with a pout, prolonging the silence before sighing. "You were _supposed_ to be telling me how getting this whole _aura _thing works! Honestly, if you're gonna be so moody over this book, I'd rather leave you to get it back yourself.."

I felt my brows knit together as I pushed my hands on the table. "Hey! I'm not being moody!"

He raised a brow. "You've been weirder than usual."

"_Tch. _It's important to me, got it? That's the _only _reason I'm acting strange.." I lied.

"Somehow I doubt that _sentimental _value is the only importance it has, but okay. Continue with your explanation! You already said that you and Hisoka have freaky powers because of something called _aura, _so tell me how to get it!"

I crossed my arms. "It's not something you _get, _it's something you learn to _control. _Every living thing has aura. In fact, it's so vital to living, that you might even call it life itself!"

"Then why can't I use it?" He looked unconvinced.

"Well.. you _kind _of can. Aura has to be _awakened_ in order to be put to work... You basically have to learn how to let your life energy pour out of you. Which can be really dangerous! So, it usually takes a looong time and a lot of training to properly do it without _dying." _

He scowled. "How long are we talking..?"

"Hmph. I'm not going to tell you how to _do _it, genius. I said I'd tell you what it was, that's all. Once we pass this damned exam, I might get around to actually _teaching_ you." I sneered to which he sat back in his chair with a cool glare. "Anyhow, there _are _a few cases where people naturally tap into their life force. Where untrained civilians can use their life energy to do extraordinary things, like great artists and psychics and extraordinary people like that."

I paused and narrowed my eyes, considering my word choice closely. "You... are one of those people. Kind of."

He leaned forward suddenly, elbow on the table. "Reeeeally?"

I scowled at his eagerness. "... yes... sometimes."

He scoffed a laugh and leaned back, arms behind his head. "Hah! I'm not surprised! I _am _pretty great, after all."

I gave him a bitter glare as he teetered back in his chair, hoping that it might tip backwards and that he'd spill out of his chair. But that didn't happen... "Yeah. Whatever. Like I said, it's only sometimes."

He grinned to himself, practically preening. I regretted inflating his ego. _Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned it at all..._ _I mean, there had been times when he got angry that I felt... __**some**__thing... But it was only in flashes. And that thing he does with his hands is probably a product of aura. But most noticeably is when he uses that damn Zetsu... it really is something. Either way, it's too late to take my words back now, I'd better roll with it. _

"Like when you do that... creepy shadowy thing, where you hide inside crowds. _That _is a type of aura manipulation. But rather than turning your life force into something physical like Hisoka's powers, you hold your life force inside of you, hiding it." I held up my hand, and felt for my aura, concentrating on dragging it back inside myself. It wriggled, and flailed like a terrified cat as I wrestled with it, before it finally sprang free of my control. I sighed and folded my arms back on the table. "Personally, I'm... _kinda _bad at that sort of thing."

He raised a brow over a cocky grin and I scowled. "It's not my fault! I have an... overzealous aura. Which..." I hesitated. I'd been dreading this part for a while now. Ever since I first used it on Killua, I knew this moment would come. The time would come where I'd have to explain the energy I'd been giving him and the others. But that didn't mean I had to tell him _every_thing... just enough to keep him safe, right? "Which brings me to one of my abilities."

I noticed the change in Killua immediately. He tensed, his eyes first widening then focusing on me. His jaw set as he slanted forward in his chair. I could sense the questions bubbling to the surface, but he kept them down as I weighed my words... as I selected the information that would hinder me in the future the least. I watched my thumbs dance, circling one another as I held my hands woven together. And as they spun, and spun and spun, I felt the changes... like the familiar side effects of a reoccurring sickness, inching their way back into my life.

I noticed the insistent sting, as my skin rubbed against skin, and the irritation that the mere clothing on my back brought me. The prick of anxiety that resulted just from breathing. I smelled the faint odor of the torches lingering on Killua and I and wrinkled my nose.

And suddenly I realized I wasn't ready to divulge that part of myself to him. It was a line I wasn't willing to cross. Not yet. I wanted to hold onto that secret for as long as possible... even if I was only delaying the inevitable. So at the last moment, I diverted my course of action.

"Never mind.. I'll get to that one later. Explaining this one first will make more sense." I said with a wave of my hand, clarifying when he gave me an irritable look. "This first ability has to do with that book."

His interest redoubled. I swallowed hard.

"As you've seen before, I write in my journal to keep a daily log of what is happening..." I said, unable to hold my gaze still as I looked for the words to say. "But it's more than that. If I put my _aura _into what I write, then I can use those words to..." I rowed my hands in a small circle as I grasped for an accurate description. "To create an image in someone's mind. To create an experience in their imagination, is a better way to put it."

I extracted my pen from my jacket and Killua visibly tensed. I gave him a level look and placed the tip to the table. "So if I were to write.. something liiiike... _The knife tore its way into my shoulder, severing muscle and flesh in a flash of blinding pain." _I wrote the words as I spoke them upon the table top, allowing a steady stream of energy to flow into the ink and remain upon the table. "And then stabbed someone with this pen, they would feel _exactly_ what I described. Word for word."

He stared at the words on the table silently.

"That being said, the strength of this experience depends on how well I write it. The vividity of the illusion is based on how descriptive my wording is. Another factor is whether or not the person believes what was written; if I try to convince someone that their arm is on fire, and there clearly isn't a fire, then they probably won't believe it." A dark mirth twinkled in my eye.

Finally, Killua spoke in a very quiet voice. "... so how do you beat it?"

I gave him an exasperated look. _"Sure,_ let me just spell out how to beat my best trick."

His stony expression finally cracked under irritation. "Knowing a partner's strengths and weaknesses is important, Clearian. If I don't know _how_ to help you, then I _can't_ help you, genius."

I scowled, feeling the truth of his words weigh down on me. As much as I didn't want to give him an advantage over me in the inevitable event of him trying to _kill _me, his argument held truth... That way, if I didn't want him to use this information against me, all I had to do was not piss him off. Ever.

_Hah... as if that's possible. _

Reluctantly, I sighed, narrowing my eyes at him. "A way to dispel the illusion is to damage the words I wrote." I held his gaze as I licked my finger, swiping it through the ink on the table. To my eyes, the glow of aura would have flickered then faded permanently, as the words became smudged beyond recognition. "Another way to negate my ability is to simply disprove the illusion. Simple as that."

Killua was silent for a period, staring intently at the table, for which I was grateful. The longer I didn't have to spill my secrets, the better. Perhaps if I stalled long enough, the five hour penalty would elapse and I wouldn't have to tell him at all! But seeing how only an hour and a few spare moments had passed, that wasn't very likely... a fact which left a sour taste in my mouth.

I watched with a dull glower as Killua wrestled with his thoughts, visibly pinning each down as he grappled with which question he'd elect. When he finally spoke, I hadn't anticipated what he'd ask me to do. At all.

"Use it on me."

I rocketed forward in my seat. Hands gripping the edge of the table, I questioned his sanity. "What?!"

He didn't waver, finally lifting his eyes to mine. "I want to know how strong it is. So I want you to use it on me."

A dozen ideas wheeled through my mind, and the one fly to the forefront made me grin. "How strong are we talking? Do you want me to write you an essay and stab that into you? Or do you want a toddler's dosage?"

He widened his eyes under a glare, finally snapping out of his cold reverie. "Hey, I don't want you to try to _kill _me! But I _also _don't want to be taken lightly. I want the average amount you use. One you'd use in the middle of a fight."

I reclined at that, mouth twisted in a grimace. "Huh. The amount I'd use in a fight? I don't know if you noticed, but my ability didn't exactly _work_ in a fight. It's better drafted out of a combat setting, where I can plan out my thoughts and take my time, _without _the threat of a card impaling my face." I waved away his irritated growl with a flap of my hand. "But I get what you're saying. I'll give you a moderate dosage. In fact, I'll give you the same one I gave someone earlier during the exam."

I clicked my pen with a sinister grin, reminiscing with dark glee the mess I'd made of the Rookie Crusher. Feeling lighter than I had in a while, I summoned my aura to the surface. It came willingly like a well trained hound, eager to be given a task. Easily drawing it down my arm and into my hand, it flowed through the pen and infused into the ink that marked the table in smooth curls and circles. The familiar sensation of my life energy being etched in ink relaxed me.

On a whim, I further explained my ability as I wrote. I suppose the extra information was a gift, in exchange for his willingness to taste the pain that I was all too willing to give.

"The cipher I write in is one of my own creation. So while yes, destroying my writing is one way to end my illusions, someone looking for it wouldn't necessarily know what to look for. It looks like another language, just gibberish. To me, the words glow, but not to anyone else. Even to people trained in identifying aura, it's hard to notice something as small as writing.."

I sensed his tension mounting as I continued to write, unable to help the grin that tugged at my cheeks. But even as he seemed to realize his mistake in agreeing to this deal, he didn't retract his invitation. I admired his resolve.

The illusion I had for him totaled as five lines of text, evenly written in a small three and a half inch by two inches in front of me, similar in size to the pages I usually wrote upon in my journal.

He stared at the words he couldn't comprehend and seemed to weigh their worth. My eyes crinkled with anticipation. I didn't attempt to hide my excitement.

"Are you ready?"

His eyes traced the lines one more time before he met my gaze and nodded. I held my palm open for his hand. When he hesitantly placed his in mine, I very carefully put the tip of the pen to the back of his hand. It glowed bright red in my eyes, before seeping into his skin. I smiled, and waited patiently for his reaction.

I searched his expression eagerly. I waited for his mouth to scowl. I waited for his eyes to water. I waited for him to scream, and double over, and beg for release.

I waited... and it never _fucking_ came!

"I see." Was his only response.

I slammed my hands on the table, shoving myself to my feet. "WHAT?!"

He brought a contemplative hand to his mouth, studying the words on the table. "That makes sense..."

_What the hell is happening!? He should be a puddle of tears by now! Not sitting calmly and saying "I see"..! _

My wide eyes searched the words on the table for any flaws. But there were none! The words were a shimmering red, easily read by me, and easily understood! So why wasn't Killua effected!?

"What the hell is going on?! Why didn't it work?!" I tugged at my hair, as if pulling it out would unravel the mystery. Killua slid an infuriating smirk up at me.

"Oh, it _worked. _But what you did just doesn't work on _me._" He said, as if that made _any _sense at all..! I stared at him in disbelief as he easily tilted back in his chair, folding his arms behind his head. "Tell me what you wrote, and I'll tell you why it didn't work on me."

I lingered a glare at him, before bitterly reciting the words I'd written.

"_**The bone shattered. My right thigh was ablaze.**_

_**Glowing hot daggers of pain stabbed my leg from **_

_**the inside out, twisting, churning, and slashing in **_

_**waves of scalding agony. Any shift in my body tripled **_

_**the pain, an echo of torture that only grew louder."**_

He made a thoughtful noise. "Hmmm... not bad. To a normal person, that would work pretty well. That's a painful bone to break, and the pain only gets worse as time goes on, unless they can break the illusion. Well thought, Frizzy."

His praise tasted like dirt in my mouth. "Clearly it wasn't well thought _enough._.."

He looked smug. "To anyone other than me, it might be earth shattering. But I'm a Zoldyck! I've been trained to withstand torture since I was two, Clearian. So shattered bones? They don't really phase me."

A cold understanding settled into me. The understanding that he was telling the truth about his family... and the understanding that he really _was_ a mass murderer. I looked at him in a new light. Or darkness, rather.

_Each time he moves, the pain is tripling... each time he rocks back and forth in that chair, he's exponentially increasing the pain he's feeling... and yet he doesn't look hindered at all. _

I fixed a level glare at him as I licked my thumb and swiped an 'X' over the words on the table. They fizzled against my skin with a crackle. Killua beamed at me with an irritating air of victory that ground against my nerves... much like my shirt was.

As my excitement over the prospect of unleashing my underwhelming powers on Killua faded, the gnawing effects of my condition returned with a vengeance that sought to makeup for lost time. I sat down gingerly, trying not to shift against my clothing too roughly... a precaution I hadn't been forced to take in years. I swallowed as my hands curled in frustration.

_If I hadn't lost that damn book to that man... _I clenched my hands too tightly, and the pain made me flinch. I scowled, and began the tedious process of reteaching myself of _how to not hurt_. A personal feeling of humiliation settled into my bones. _When I get my hands on that man who stole your book from me... _

Killua's taunting voice drew me from my blood stained thoughts.

"Don't be _too _bummed out about it, Frizzy." He drawled airily, tottering back in his chair. "I'm sure there are other illusions you can figure out if you want to fight against me. If you get the chance to fight back, that is."

I slanted a glance at his cocky grin as he peered over his sharpened nails at me.

"Tch. Don't be so full of yourself. I'm not sulking over your freaky pain tolerance, brat.." I sneered, to which he stopped rocking in his chair. "It's about..."

I hesitated. Again.

_It really shouldn't be this hard to talk about... _

But somehow, it felt as though I was standing at the edge of Mount Split-In-Half all over again, teetering on the precipice of some great doom. If I stepped out over the edge...

"I haven't forgotten, Clearian."

My eyes jolted up to his. Sharp, glacier blue and oh so clever. The eyes of a born and bred killer. My breath stuck in my throat.

"I haven't forgotten about that freaky energy you used on me before. And I won't let you keep it a secret any longer."

* * *

Hellooooo, thank you for reading! I know I haven't updated in half a year, sorry to keep you waiting! Thank you for your patience!

These past two chapters have been reeeeally hard to write.. namely because I wasn't sure how I wanted them to progress. I haven't been sure about how much I wanted Killua and the readers to know about Clearian's Hatsu, which I thought was one of the driving mysteries of the story. And mystery is the best part! However, there's more mysteries to come, of course, haha.

Anyhow, this chapter is a tonnnn of talking, which isn't really that fun to read or write, unfortunately. And honestly, these two chapters have been progressing at a much slower pace than I had ever hoped they would... This was supposed to be a shorter part of the story, not such a big chunk! It's looking like it's going to take up another two chapters, which is a rather _large_ sum of time for a made up plot point.

Just this chapter alone is like... twice the length I'd planned it to be for the amount of information it covered... yikes! Perhaps I'll speed things up so we can get straight into the action, but we'll see..!

Also! Please let me know if you think my writing quality has dropped, because the other half of the issue with me updating has been that I feel I'm not keeping pace with my old writing abilities. And **_especially_** let me know if you have any ideas of how to fix the age old issue of writer's block!

* * *

Onto the _**Guest Reviews**_!

AngelFaux : Thank you so much for taking the time to drop a review! And thank you for your compliments; it always bothers me when I see people try to make their OC's better than Gon and Killua, when they're supposed to be _super prodigies_, haha. So while Clearian is currently ahead in his training, he wouldn't be able to hold a candle to them if they caught up, lol. So I'm definitely glad you're enjoying that aspect of his character as well!

Guest: Thank you! Even though it's not the best mid-combat ability, I think it has many other practical uses!


	15. Poachers

**Warning**: This chapter is slightly darker than most have been.** Coarser language**, stronger **violence** and more **adult themes** in the latter half of this chapter that will probably spill into the next one as well. (but nothing that surpasses what was in the original HxH story, fret not)

* * *

I ran through trick tower. But this time, I was alone.

There were no prisoners. And no pesky assassins. Just my anger and I.

The only sound I heard was that of a single pair of feet dashing through the labyrinthine halls of Trick Tower.

This was a journey I had to make alone. This was _my _rescue mission. One full of uncertainties, but I'd face a dozen enemies on my own if I had to. I didn't care if that fluffy haired _brat _insisted I was making a huge mistake. I didn't care if I had to fight this battle on my own.

Who cared if he betrayed me as soon as I told him my secrets? I didn't. I didn't, _I __**don't**_**!**

All I cared about was getting back my journal and quieting the burning that crept through my bones. I just wanted to have that familiar weight against my chest again. Who needed a shitty assassin as a friend? I'd be fine without him. I only needed _one _friend. I'd told Killua that much when he turned his back on me.

But forget about that idiot...

My _En _told me that I was closing in. That the sourced of the aura calling out to me would be found at the end of the corridor. Ironically, my enemy would be in the light at the end of the tunnel. Waiting for me to arrive.

My feet slowed, but my heart kept on racing ahead of me. My wits surged to flee me, but I held them back, willing them to be still. If I was gonna lose my head, then this unknown enemy would have to take it off my shoulders themselves. I had to stay calm and collected... I had to be better than I have ever been before.

I was here to take my journal back. By whatever means necessary. Losing my temper before the game even started wasn't on my _to do_ list.

My feet moved one foot in front of the other, marching me forward to meet my opponent.

When I came to stand at the precipice of the light, a great room expanded before me. Every sound, including my final steps, echoed hollowly. The tall ceiling rose into black obscurity and brown brick walls lined with redly glowing torches. On the far opposite wall, a small figure sat. Its face was hidden by a shadow cast by the brown cowl of their prisoner garb.

But what attracted my attention was the sound of pages being turned and the small gray and white object in their hands. The infinitely valuable treasure that was within my sights. My inner voices screamed that it was so easily within reach... and yet.

My hands clenched as the thief, surely aware of my arrival, leisurely turned another page. And I found my legs moving, unable to bear another moment of separation. Unable to bear the audacity of this person who thought they still deserved to _breathe. _I burned to swiftly rectify their error.

But their voice shocked me into stillness.

"Very interesting book you have here." The _woman _quietly commented in a delicately lilting voice. The distinctly female sound echoed hauntingly off the walls of stone and my skull. She snapped my book shut, igniting my irritation and evaporating away my shock. The woman tilted her head as she regarded me from the shadow of her hood. "Your handwriting is very pretty. It's a pity that I can't make sense of a word of it!"

I grit my teeth. This wasn't what I expected. A _she _wasn't what I expected. This reaffirmed my fear, and solidified the single truth I knew; the fact that I had zero clue what I was betting my life on. And yet my goal still remained the same.

… _if I defeat her, then I automatically pass this exam. That was the deal Lippo worked out with me. And more importantly... I get to take my journal back._

"Ah, but I suppose that isn't the whole truth, is it..?" The woman continued slyly, giggling to herself as if she knew something I didn't. "There _is _one passage that's written in a language I understand, isn't there..?"

My eyes widened and my muscles tensed as I realized what she meant. I cringed at the sound of her oh so casually flipping through pages of my most private thoughts. And then as she spoke the precious words I'd read a thousand times over, nothing disgusted me more than hearing them in her mocking, sing-song voice. A chorus of echos that repeated her like a mocking audience of ghosts.

"Hello journal, it's nice to meet you! My name is Clear Antinium, and I'll be writing in you from now on, so I hope you don't mind. I promise I'll take good care of you, and tell you all of my secrets! I'll tell you about all the adventures I go on, and you'll get to know all about my best friend Iana, and Hazard and Akarii. Hopefully they're still my friends when I read this.. but if they aren't, I'll still have the memory of them in your pages. So please take care of them and I'll take care of you!" She snapped the book shut with a small laugh. "Talk to you soon, journal!"

A cold hatred clung to every inch of me. This woman... she was trying to get under my skin. And damn it, it was _working. _But for some reason, it didn't make me want to run at her screaming... it made me want to carefully break her fingers, one by one. Savor each scream for mercy, and grant her none. This was a new level of loathing, even for me.

I didn't move and didn't speak. And for a moment, neither did she. And then with a sigh, she rose to her feet, my book pressed against her chest. A place it certainly didn't belong.

"You know, I wasn't sure you'd come to take this back." She said, her pleasant surprise reverberating around the walls of the chamber. "I assumed it had to do with your Nen, seeing how you drew it when you felt threatened... but when I made off with it, I found that there was no aura attached to it at all. Strange. What _is _its value to you?"

I felt her shadowed eyes evaluating me. Gauging my response for some sort of weakness. When I didn't show any intent of responding, she sighed and removed the cowl from her head, pulling it backwards to reveal a surprising face. A pleasant visage greeted me. One that I wouldn't expect from the high risk criminal that she must have been.

_What crime was she guilty of to get locked up in __**here **__of all places...?_

Her hair was an unassuming brown, her eyes warm and motherly. Part of me wondered if she had been rightfully imprisoned. But that illusion was shattered by the memory of her aura as she hunted down Killua and I. She'd been quick enough to catch us. And in her attack, I tasted a familiar thrill of excitement. She had lusted for our blood.

She was a criminal. She was my enemy. And she was dangerous.

And I was gonna have to figure out how to take her down.

"Where did your friend go?" She asked, smiling genially and resting one arm across her stomach as she settled into a comfortable stance. "I was very much looking forward to playing with _both_ of you. You can't imagine how excited I was when Warden Lippo asked if I'd like to indulge in his little game. He knows how much I do enjoy the company of young men such as yourselves, and it's been such a long time since I saw anyone but the uncouth criminals of this prison.."

The smoothness of her voice and freshly revealed glint in her eye unnerved me to no end. But finally the conversation had shifted to something worth talking about. Something other than undisguised, although effective, attempts to piss me off.

Still, fresh wave of irritation rushed through me. "We aren't friends."

She made a thoughtful noise, tapping my journal against her filthy lips. "Hmm... the way he pulled you away from danger and into the safe room could have fooled _meee."_

I clenched my fists. "Me too."

Her expression brightened at my verbal response. "Oh delightful! So we _can _have a conversation!"

I felt my eye twitch. _What an annoyingly chipper opponent.. almost like a magician I know. _My eyes shifted to settle firmly on the gray bound book she was touching so casually. _I need to get that away from her as soon as possible._

As if feeling my stare on it, the woman stroked the binding of the journal, almost lovingly. My gaze flicked back up to meet hers. She smiled cleverly. "If you're willing to talk, then we can get on to introductions. And perhaps to negotiations?"

I swallowed down the pride that urged me to punch her square in the face; that tactic would get me into more trouble than it was worth. I had no clue what her abilities were... based on her provocation, a close quarter fight was what she was looking for. Even if she too was in the dark about my capabilities...

I made a note to stay away from her, and moved forward into whatever game she wanted to play. I was at her mercy, and she knew it. She knew she held the gray and white key in her hands.

Still, I couldn't help but be terse. I was an unwilling participant in this game. But it wasn't for me to enjoy playing; the joy was all hers. "Fine. Talk."

Her eyes crinkled with joy. "No need to rush things, child. Introductions must be made before bargains." She casually made herself comfortable on the floor, folding her legs elegantly beneath her, the picture of one at ease. "My name is Odep Rafftic. My sentence here at Trick Tower has been carried out for three long years.."

She swept a stray strand of brown hair behind her ear. "For the crime of human trafficking."

A familiar cold swept through and robbed my skin of warmth. "Selling other human beings for money, huh..?"

That certainly was a heinous crime. One I'd known of in my childhood of living as a homeless child but had thankfully evaded... for the most part. However, that was something to think of another time... All that mattered was that I held no love for the crime.

I knew what it meant for humans to be treated as objects. I knew how twisted a person had to be to place a value upon a human's existence and traded as if one person could own another.

That being said, I wasn't quite sure that act itself was enough to land one in Trick Tower of all places... there had to be another facet to her story... But she was speaking again, and I didn't have enough pieces of the puzzle to reveal the answer. I'd have to figure it out as I went.

"And you, little blond boy?"

I found myself glaring harder at her. Her condescension was grating to say the least. "You already know my name, don't you? You read it yourself. And I'm thirteen, thank you. I'm a teenager, not a _boy."_

Her eyes glittered and I could have swore she swelled with excitement. How creepy could this woman get?

"My, my, you _are _quite grown, aren't you Clear?" Hearing her call me that filled me with disgust. "And would you care to tell me what importance this book has to you? I simply cannot fathom why you would risk your chances in this exam for it."

"Does it matter?" I cut. "All that matters is that I want it back. By whatever means necessary.."

She smiled demurely at my waspishness. Like a patient adult to a toddler, she took her time in replying in her measured and peaceful tone. "I suppose that is so... And the means have been somewhat decided for us, haven't they? Warden Lippo has given us delightful incentive to put on quite the show for him... The seed of competition has been sown, and I have no intention of withholding my best efforts, despite our age differential.

"For if I win... in whatever competition we agree upon, that is... then I am liberated at last." The gleam in her eyes simmered in premature satisfaction. She seemed more than confident enough in her abilities. Tch. Arrogant witch. I cut in before she could continue her all too cocksure speech.

"_When_ I win, then I'm going to pass this portion of the exam." I stated, voice rising into the darkness looming above. Even the shadows echoed my conviction. They encouraged the clenching of my fists. "And I'm taking my book back."

She smiled and shimmied warmly, as if my hostility enlivened her. I scowled.

Maybe it was a result of tangling too often with Hisoka, but her eagerness to fight me made me want to hurl. And maybe hurl something in her face, too.

"But – if you lose," She countered, her eyes sliding to the side with a whimsical negligence as she alluded to something I'd hoped to forget. They snapped back to me. I had trouble swallowing. "Then you become warden Lippo's assistant. Is that correct?"

I felt a strange cold swim across my skin. Yes, that was correct. And it was that piece of this puzzle that made me more nervous than any other factor in this deal. The reality that Lippo had something to gain from me losing... that Lippo, in pitting me against this she-devil, was hoping I'd lose. _Expecting_ _it_.

And this woman, Odep, knew it. Knew that she was favored in this match-up, in which Lippo held all the cards and knew the score.

I finally managed the clear my throat.

But I wasn't going to answer her. Wasn't going to confirm that no one, not her, not Lippo, and not Killua, expected me to come out of this scuffle successful. _She already unarmed you once, what makes you think you can win without half of your weapon_, Killua had said.

I wasn't shaking in fear. I wasn't. This was anger that was quaking through my limbs. Not fear, not terror, not panic, and _certainly_ not doubt..!

Her voice was soft, almost pitying. I nearly missed her laughter. "You don't have to answer... I already know."

I snapped.

"PICK YOUR COMPETITION. _PICK IT!_ I'll DEFEAT you, no matter WHAT it is! I don't care if you choose mathematics, _luck_, _**knitting,**_ ANYTHING. I don't need your approval! I don't need the warden's! I don't even need KILLUA'S! I swear that I'll show _ALL OF YOU_ THAT **I CAN WIN**!"

She clapped her hands once, speaking briskly as my whirling mind grasped for purchase. "Very well then! It's a competition of hide and seek tag, then! If I catch you within five minutes after a head-start, then I win." This was all happening too fast. She splayed and rolled her fingers in a wave. "Just one touch, and it's over."

I swayed on my feet, glaring darkly beneath my brows. "Fine. Let's begin."

She wagged a finger, still speaking too quickly for me to truly keep up. "Ah, ah, ah, not quite so hasty. I have been locked up in this stone prison for a much extended stay. I am not so eager to return to this place... but I _would _like to try a few things... before my freedom is once again on the table to be stolen. There are a few things I would like to... test, crimes that I would surely commit were I freed without first experiencing them."

The tether between my consciousness and my body was immediately severed under the sharpness of her gaze. Beneath the exact precision of her plans, yet to unfold, I felt utterly exposed.

"If I win..." She seemed to hum with excitement. "You will free me of my curiosity, and no longer will I ever need to be chained again."

"Fuck you."

"How perceptive."

* * *

_Stomp, stomp, stomp. _Quiet your steps, Clearian.

_Pant, gasp, pant._ Damn it... silence your breathing.

_Whip, flare, sizzle. _Tame your stupid aura..!

"AUGH!" I cried out despite myself.

This is was _so_ fucking rigged! I was supposed to hide physically, when I'm already shit at that. _And_ I was supposed to conceal my _aura_, when I'm DOUBLE shit at that! It all made me want to scream; wasn't even _trying _anymore!

To top it, off, failure wasn't even just about losing a fucking book anymore – it's not JUST about a psychotic clown that was going to decapitate me, or about some shitty blue eyed assassin hunting me down – it was now ALSO about some deranged criminal doing GOD KNOWS WHAT to me, and the icing on tippy-top was that I basically sold my soul to a freaky warden who for some reason wants me to be his apprentice?

? ! ? !

**_GIVE ME A BREAK!_**

My back hugged the stone wall I flattened myself against. My clothes clung uncomfortably to me, the heat of exertion forced me to yank my hood from my head. What could I _possibly_ do to beat this bitch?

I couldn't hide from her. That much was evident. So I'd opted to run. Run as far as I could from her. And yet, a voice in the back of my mind nagged me that it wouldn't work. She'd hunted me down before, from the depths of the tower, to where she'd found Killua and I when we'd been moving through the tower for dozens of hours. Following my trail with only a five minute head-start would be nothing..!

Odep would know how to find me. She would be able to catch me. And then...

I wiped sweat from my brow and that line of thought from my mind.

Come on, Clearian, _think damn it!_

But the more I reached for ideas, the more they evaded my grasp. _If I get cornered, I'll jump over her... _No, she'd be quick enough to catch me. _I could hide in a safe room.. _No, Lippo wouldn't make it very 'safe' for me, seeing how he wants me to lose, too.

I gripped my hair in frustration.

I could.. I.. I could.. _I could juke her_... no you can't, idiot, your Hatsu doesn't involve diversions and decoys... or does it?

My fingers flexed. My pen was in my pocket. _If I.. if I write upon the wall with it and some how managed to stab her with the pen, I could win..! _Before, that hadn't been an option; it would be a waste of aura to draft a work of Hatsu without knowing what I was going up against. But now that I knew who my enemy was, I could better formulate a convincing story. I could twist her thoughts into ones that would prevent her from winning this stupid game of hers..!

But how exactly would I do that..? I stared at the scribe between the trembling fingers of my right hand as my other hand held my mouth in concentration. _The condition for her victory is that she has to touch me... I have to keep her from getting close... What would make her believe that she shouldn't touch me? Key word being belie-_

"Ohh little booooy~"

My feet were moving before she finished. She was close. Close enough that her voice echoed down the narrow hallways with ease. Close enough that she felt comfortable revealing herself. That she was already certain she'd caught me.

Silence meant nothing at this point. "STAY AWAY!"

I couldn't feel my legs. My thoughts and my muscles were no longer speaking, only instinct propelled me. My arms moved as if they would help me swim through the shadows. But I knew they wouldn't. I knew the moment her aura touched my _En. _The moment she was within touching distance of me. I knew the moment I had surely lost. I knew I wasn't crying. That would be pathetic...

Maybe if I was more like Killua.. more stealthy, more quick, more clever... more strong... then I wouldn't be in this predicament. Or maybe just a little less reckless over this book. Just that would have solved this problem. Just that difference might have changed this ending drastically.

But just as I anticipated the touch that would end this, this being my life as I knew it, there was a sudden change. One that left me breathless. In more than one way.

I realized that it wasn't the woman's aura I felt as a titanic force gripped my leg. As I was jerked to a violent stop, only to be hurled through the air, I glimpsed a larger form than anticipated. My mind rushed quicker than the air rushing past my ears. Too shocked to brace against impact, my body only managing to just _barely _twist to avoid smashing face first into the labyrinth wall. My shoulder screamed as it took the brunt of the force, and my knees hit the stone floor with a jarring _thud_, but none of that mattered. _Is this it..? Am I really defeated so easily...?_

When I dragged my head up, my fears took form. Of course. Just my luck. _Two_ sets of eyes reflected the torch light, their bodily forms merged together in a single monstrous shadow. How lucky could one 13 year old get? This exam seemed to be an ever expanding answer to the question of: _could this get any worse?_

And of course, the answer always appeared to be a firm, unanimous _**yes**__._

The points of light to the upper left shifted to the sound of giggling. The haunting echo chilled me but I was already too numb already to shiver.

"... would it be crude to say _I win_?"

I was unresponsive.

"I'll take that as a yes.."

* * *

... I think I'm gonna stop apologizing for being an irresponsible writer, as it's probably expected by now, haha.

I really wasn't sure how I wanted to write this one. I knew the kind of villain I wanted, but there were many factors, such as gender, and how Clearian was going to fight the villain that I was having trouble deciding. These past few chapters have been far more difficult than I ever anticipated; this plot line was supposed to be summed up within like... a chapter, but it's really taken on a life of its own. x'D

Trick Tower is really the biggest plot divergence so far, and I've had a lottttt of trouble working out how I want this... sort of... solo mission to go. How to progress as a story without the original story as a foundation to lead its direction. Perhaps it has suffered for this. Or maybe benefited? Who knows! I suppose it's up for personal interpretation, haha.

As always, thank you for your patience and for reading! Reviews are always appreciated! = )

* * *

**_Guest Reviews -_**

AngelFaux: Thank you for the comment! And sorry if you were anticipating me explaining Clearian's second ability in this chapter! I guess I'm just as anxious about revealing it to y'all as he is to explain it to Killua, haha. But in due time, all will be revealed..! And that includes the ships I have in mind... x'D

I suppose anyone and everyone is free to ship whomever they want, but I won't tell you who I personally ship... as it might spoil or alter your interpretation... ; )


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